I think I need a bath
by Viccagirl
Summary: Cameron Hawke has been itching for a bath where she can actually relax since her family's escape from Lothering. During a card game she finally gets her wish, free of charge. She couldn't possibly have foreseen where it would take her. (This is an updated and currently in-process work for those who Fav'ed and Followed from the beginning. Thank you!)
1. Author

Author's notes

Firstly, I would like to apologize for the extended absence of any update to this story. Real life drama and tragedy struck and it has taken a very long time for me to come back to this. I would like you all, who have favorited, and followed either this story, or me as a writer, that I have never forgotten your kind words, or Cameron's story. So I would like to thank everyone of you for sticking around, and I hope the tweaks and changes that I have done are both enjoyable and add more to enrich this story.

For those of you who have read the original posting of _I Think I Need a Bath_ and _Into the Deep Roads_ there are just a few small changes:

First, _Into the Deep Roads_ has been integrated into _I Think I Need a Bath_, so there is no longer the need to stop and pull up a new story to get the full picture.

Second, small wording and grammar mistakes have (hopefully) been fixed.

Third, Cameron's spirit has been given a new name. "Decoris" was supposed to be a Latin term for honor in the feminine. However, I could not duplicate my search and decided she needed a new name. Ādara was chosen as the replacement, and from what I found it is the Hindi word for honor.

And finally, one chapter specifically (Chapter 25) had been rewritten with a new found confidence, and I believe helps to further develop one of my favorite characters.

Again, I would like to apologize to everyone who waited for this story, and hopefully I can make the wait worth it.

Thank you all,

Viccagirl


	2. Chapter 1

"I think I need a bath. Do you think I need a bath?" Isabela asked no one in particular.

"I would _love_ a bath," Cameron Hawke slurred in response, tucking her cards against her chest as she leaned on the dark pirate. Carver groaned loudly, tossing his cards to the table.

"Not this 'bath' crap again." Cameron stuck her tongue out at her little brother.

"Well, not all of us enjoy going to the Blooming Rose for their 'special' services," at his sudden crimson cheeks, she grinned. "What, you think I didn't know? Really Carver, you should know better." She sat back up flipping an errant white curl from her face. She never figured out why her hair went from the family black to a silver white, but she also didn't care enough to do anything about it.

"Hey, Elf, that mansion you're squatting in has a private bathing room, doesn't it?" Varric casually asked the fifth member of the card game while tossing another sovereign onto the pile. Fenris arched a black brow and nodded.

"It does." Cameron sat up straighter at his revelation, her sapphire eyes twinkling with more than drink. "What does that matter?" he asked.

"Well, from the looks of your purse, you might want to see if anyone is willing to take 'use of bathing room' instead of money," Varric replied.

"Who would –"

"Me!" Cameron cut him off enthusiastically, the alcohol in her system making her giddier and louder than usual. Fenris snorted.

"Fine, I wager the use of my bathing rooms and call." Cameron, Varric and Fenris all laid their cards down, though Varric already knew the outcome as he had stacked the deck. Isabela laughed as Cameron wildly clapped her joy over winning.

"You have no idea how happy this makes me," she gushed to Fenris, ignoring the pot in the center of the table.

"Evidently not." He muttered, throwing an accusatory glare in Varric's direction. Varric feigned insult, and then grinned at the broody elf. Cameron stood suddenly, grabbing Carver's shoulder to steady herself.

"I'm going to get my things, and then, I'm going to make use of my winnings," she intoned haughtingly.

"Now!?" Fenris's green eyes widened. Cameron's enthusiastic nod nearly sent her to the floor. Carver just shook his head at his sister.

"I believe you left your soaps in my room from the last time," Varric mentioned coolly, shuffling the cards back into the deck. Cameron grinned, and gracelessly darted up the stairs to Varric's quarters. As soon as she was out of ear shot, Fenris turned to the dwarf.

"You set this up."

"You wound me, Elf. What would I possibly get out of this? I _lost_ three sovereigns and the revenue from Hawke's thrice weekly visits."

"Thrice?" Fenris asked in disbelief.

"That means three times," Isabela chirped in. Fenris glared at the dark woman.

"I know what it means," he growled at her. She just grinned back at him, shooting back the remaining whiskey in her glass. Cameron returned to their table a small satchel draped across her shoulder.

"Ready!" she beamed. Fenris was at a loss, but he was a man of his word. He stood, resigned to hosting this bewildering mage in his home. Isabela slammed her glass down, getting everyone's attention.

"Don't forget your pot," she winked up at Cameron tossing a pouch full of coins to the mage.

"Wait, how? No, never mind. I don't want to know," Carver remarked, shaking his head. Cameron waved to her friends and sauntered from the Hanged Man with Fenris throwing a final glare to Varric before following.

Cameron was happily humming a tune as she all but skipped towards Hightown. Fenris tried not to think as he fell into step behind her. She confused him utterly, and he wasn't sure how he felt about her. She was nothing like the mages he was used to and he often felt his guard slipping when he was around her. Her genuine concern for him was something alien to him, yet he was drawn to it and the way the lyrium beneath his skin hummed when she was near.

Fenris had been absently following her lead, so it took him by surprise when she entered the Blooming Rose. He watched as she made her way to the bar. After a few minutes, she returned with two bottles of wine. She smiled at Fenris, pushing one of the bottles into his hands before exiting. Confused, he simply followed.

"I know you prefer reds. I'm partial to the sweet white wines," she was speaking casually, uncorking the bottle still in her hands.

"Um, yes. Thank you." he glanced down at the bottle in his hand. It had the classic Orlsian fleur-de-lis etched into the glass. It was not a cheap bottle of wine. "Do you wish me to pay you for this?" she laughed, shaking her head.  
>"No, Silly. That is a 'thank you for putting up with me' gift."<p>

"It is hardly necessary. You did win." Though there was warmth in his tone.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I should be rude. And I – I'm very appreciative of this. I didn't realize how much I took baths for granted back in Lothering," she laughed sadly. "I took a lot of things for granted. I don't want to anymore." Fenris sensed there was more to her statement, but said nothing. They walked the rest of the way in silence, Cameron somehow managing to drink and walk without falling over.

Inside his rightfully stolen estate, it was cold and dark except for a feint glow from upstairs. He left a fire banked in the study where he spent most of his time. Now Fenris took the lead and escorted her up to the master bedroom and through to the private baths. He stiffened as he felt her spell through his markings, and the candles in the room were suddenly lit. She stepped past him into the marble room in awe. A single copper tub, big enough for at least two people sat in the center of the room. In the far corner was a water pump for quickness and ease and a basket of stones rested near the fire place to warm. By the tub was a table that stored soaps and another that was bare.

"The pump does work, so you will not need to bring water up." Fenris told her, and turned to leave. Her hesitant hand on his arm stopped him, and he looked back at her, ignoring the tingling sensation her touched caused. She smiled up at him, a shy tentative smile.

"Thank you, Fenris. This is wonderful." She kissed him lightly on the cheek before quickly moving into the room to begin her bath. The suddenness of the act surprised Fenris into stillness and he simply watched her walk away. His cheek warm from her lips, and his mind bewildered he retreated into the study.

Alone, Fenris stirred the fire bringing it back to life. He didn't want to think about the woman in the other room, but his thoughts refused to heed his desires. Her silvery hair framed her face in loose curls and often strands would fall in front of her eyes. Her eyes were a deep, penetrating blue, and seemed to always twinkle with mirth. Fenris liked her eyes the best. They were never dead like the slaves' in Minrathous, and there was never a glint of maliciousness like in the magisters'.

His thoughts began to wander from her face to her body. She was slender for a human with soft curves. The robes she favored hugged her hips and breasts with corset like boning and he often enjoyed watching the sway of her hips as she led the way during their adventures. His mind then shifted to her scent. It was gentle and subtle like honeyed cream.

A smile turned up at the corner of his mouth. He looked at the bottle of wine she had given him. Cameron Hawke was sweet, and Fenris enjoyed that. He opened the bottle and took a generous sip of the wine. It was not the dry, bitter red he was expecting, but a softer, spiced red. The tingle of cloves and cinnamon hid the bitter tang of the alcohol and he was half finished the bottle before he realized.

A flash in the window, followed by the sharp crack of thunder pulled him from his reverie. He walked to the window, looking out into the blackness of the storm. The rain was hammering the window in a deluge and he hoped that Cameron had made it back to Lowtown before the storm hit. Then it occurred to him, that he didn't hear her leave. Curious and tipsy he made his way back to the bathing room.

She was still there, unconcerned with the storm raging outside, sleeping in the tub. Fenris was halfway to her when it occurred to him where she was and what she had been doing. A touch of red colored his cheeks and he called out to her.

"Hawke," she groaned in response, shifting in the tub, "Hawke," he tried again, louder. This time she opened her eyes, groggily. She sat up straighter and only the rim of the tub kept her decent. Fenris turned away, giving her privacy and the crack of thunder kept his mind from thinking about what that tub was hiding. The thunder also seemed to wake her up.

"Maker!" she exclaimed, "I haven't fallen asleep in a tub in years," she laughed nervously. Fenris heard the slush of the water as she stood, and the sudden image in his mind made his body stiffen. He heard the rustling of cloth and he assumed she was dressing. "This is going to be a fun walk home," she finally muttered. Cautiously, Fenris turned to look at her. She was dressed, but not in the robes she had been wearing. A simple linen shift covered her and clung to her damp skin while she packed her things back into the satchel.

"You are not leaving," his deep, matter of fact voice stopped her and she turned to him.

"What are you going on about?"

"It is not safe. You shall stay here and leave in the morning," he wasn't sure why he was suggesting it, but a part of him didn't want her to leave just yet. She smiled at him, finishing her packing.

"That's sweet, Fenris, but it's only rain. I'll be fine."

"It is not only rain," and a clap of thunder punctuated his statement. "You will not leave tonight." She sighed, too tired to argue.

"Fine. Where do I sleep?" the question came as a surprise to Fenris, he hadn't thought that far ahead.

"That room," he finally decided, pointing back to the bedroom they had passed through earlier. She nodded, walking past him. Again his markings hummed as she extinguished the lights in the bathing room. Cameron stopped at the bed, taking note of the disheveled sheets.

"Is this where you sleep?" she asked him hesitantly. He nodded in answer.

"But I shall stay in the study." She turned to him and in the low light he could barely see the glare on her face.

"Seriously Fenris? This is _your_ room in _your_ home. I'll sleep in the study. I'm not going to deprive you of your own bed."

"You are not taking it from me, I offered it to you."

"Fenris-" she began, but he cut her off.

"Please stop arguing with me. Just go to sleep." He left the room before she could say anything else, closing the door on any further argument. He half expected her to follow him out, but assumed that exhaustion and drink took the fight out of her. Through the door he heard her sigh, then the creak of the old wood shifting with her weight. He returned to the study, content that he finally won a battle against the spirited mage.

It was just after dawn when the creak of the stairs woke him. Silently he made his way from the study. He caught sight of Cameron trying to sneak from the mansion and he smiled at her lack of grace. He watched her leave and decided to retire for the rest of the morning in the comfort of his bed. When he lay down, the scent of honeyed cream enveloped him and it was the most restful sleep he had had in a very long time.


	3. Chapter 2

It had been an entire day since Fenris had seen Hawke. He wasn't entirely sure if he was looking forward to the visit he was told to expect, or if he was dreading it. He paced the study for most of the day, until he decided he should clean a little, in case she did come. But that thought left him at a loss. Cleaning had never been one of his duties; unless it was cleaning blood from his gauntleted fists.

Before he could come to any decision, there was a knock at the front entrance and a voice calling his name. It was her voice, sober this time with less of the bravado she had shown the previous night she had been there. She cracked the door open to hear if he would answer.

"Hawke," he called to her gruffly and she smiled.

"I was worried you wouldn't be here."

"It seems if I am not with you or at the Hanged Man, I am here. Waiting." was his curt reply. She shrugged closing and locking the door behind her. He noticed she had a small basket with her as well as the satchel from the other night.

"Speaking of all this time you spend away from this manor, I figured you could use some food to go with the extensive wine cellar," She held up the basket in her hands. Fenris didn't move to take it from her, just stared at her confused. "It isn't full of snakes, Fenris. It's just food. You know that stuff you put in your belly that doesn't addle people's brains?" he glared at her.

"I know what food is. I don't know why you would bring me some. As per our deal, you have free reign over your bathing days." It was Cameron's turn to glare.

"I didn't bring it pay for my baths. I brought it for you. Since it is obviously impossible for you to understand, I care for my friends and my family. And I do what I can to make it easier for them. And if our deal makes you this uncomfortable, I'll leave," she dropped the basket to the floor and turned to unlock the door to leave.

A soft growl rose from Fenris's throat and he grabbed her arm, stopping her. He turned her back to face him, a sullen look on his face.

"Forgive me. I am not used to being treated as anything other than an animal; especially not by mages. I made a deal with you, and I will honor that deal. But you needn't bring me 'gifts' for the use." Cameron smiled up at him, her eyes twinkling in the low light.

"I know I don't have to Fenris. I want to. Even more so when you were so kind to me last time. It was nice not sharing a room with Carver for a night. Boy snores like a bear." Cameron bent to pick up the fallen basket, and the words spilled from Fenris before he could stop and think them through.

"Then the nights you bathe here, you shall remain. It will, ease my mind, that you will not be walking alone at night into Lowtown." He couldn't believe he had just said that, and from the look on Cameron's face, it was a shock to her as well.

"Fenris, that's sweet of you, but it's hardly –" he raised a hand to cut her off.

"It is done. And if you are to lead us, it is best that you are rested as much as possible. A tired mage is a dangerous one." Cameron clenched her jaw tight, a flash of anger in her eyes, but she held her tongue. She had to remember he had known nothing but pain and misery from mages, and she was determined to show him that not all were like that. Taking a slow, cleansing breath she nodded.

"Very well Fenris. Where shall I sleep during these visits?"

"The same room as before." He responded quickly, as if prepared for her question. Her eyes widened again.

"But isn't that _your_ room?" he nodded, pulling a hunk of bread from the basket still in her hands.

"It is the most convenient from the bathing room. And as you put it, it is my room to do as I wish." A blush began to creep up into her cheeks as her mind played on his words, and despite her best efforts her reply was somewhat breathless.

"And will I be alone in your room?" it was Fenris's turn to blush, and he turned from her to hide the pinking of his ears. He nodded in response as he began to climb the stairs to the study.

"Of course," was all he said before closing the door, leaving Cameron alone in the mansion's darkened foyer.


	4. Chapter 3

Cameron woke with a hangover to yet another argument between Gamlen and Carver. She groaned and rolled over on her small cot covering her head with her thin pillow, hoping to drown out her families' voices for at least another hour. She was not to be so lucky, however. Bean, her faithful if overly anxious mabari, took her movement as a sign and jumped on top of her; pushing her pillow out of the way and licking her face. Unable to withstand the assault of dog love, she pushed at Bean and finally rose.

"If I didn't love you so much, I'd turn you into a cat," she grumbled at Bean, stroking his head the way he liked. He barked happily at her and rolled onto his back for a belly rub. With a smile she obliged the large dog until a gentle knock on the bedroom door turned her attention away. Leandra entered the small room a smile on her lips.

"Darling, I'm glad to see you are up. Aveline is here to see you." Cameron sighed, having totally forgotten she had agreed to help Aveline patrol the paths leading around Sundermount today.

"Tell her I'll be out in a sec. Bean you go on out with Mother. Looks like you're going to have a good work out today." Bean barked happily, and dashed past Leandra into the front room of the Amell hovel. With Bean out of the room, Leandra smiled at her daughter and closed the door for her privacy. Cameron sighed touching her temple, but cast no spell. It was her own fault for falling into Isabela's drinking game, and she would bare the consequences just as her father had taught her.

It took Cameron all of five minutes to switch from her thread worn sleeping shift to her robes and she greeted Aveline as she put her staff into its holster on her back.

"When I agreed to this patrol, I didn't think it would be so early," Aveline raised a red brow.

"Hawke, it's past noon," was her response and Cameron mentally slapped herself but put a bright smile on her face.

"I just figured if we were looking for ne'er-do-wells, we'd do it later in the evening." Aveline's response was cold and matter of fact.

"But caravans do not travel by night, so to hunt the hunters, we must think like the hunters." Cameron rolled her eyes and sighed; her head was throbbing too much for some one sided witty banter.

"Since we're going to be traipsing around Sundermount, we might as well bring Merrill with us. She'd be able to show us any little hide-a-ways the bandits might use."

"An excellent idea and one you made last night. Just how much did you drink?" The red head asked her. Not wanting to discuss her binge drinking in front of her mother, Cameron led Bean and Aveline from the house.

"I drank just enough to regret it this morning, but not enough to impair me, if that's what you're worried about," Cameron snapped at her guard friend. Aveline just shook her head.

"I told you it was a bad idea to get into a drinking contest with that whore."

"I am hardly in the mood for 'I told you so' lectures. Let's just get Merrill and get this over with," Aveline smiled and followed her irritated friend.

It seemed to Cameron that the Maker did not want to make today easy for her. First was the simple fact that the easy patrol around the base of Sundermount, was anything but. The three women happened upon a nest of slavers who put up a significant fight. By the time the nest was cleared, everyone was covered in blood. Most was the slavers' but Cameron was also coated in a fine film from Merrill's blood magic and it took everything in her not to cringe and wipe at the offending layer on her skin.

The Maker's second trial happened on their trip back into Kirkwall. With nearly another half mile to walk, the sky above them opened up into a torrential downpour. The soldier in Aveline trudged onward, used to less than ideal traveling conditions, and the eternal optimism in their elven companion commented on how the rain would wash the blood from their clothes. Bean just barked, dashing here and there and rolling in the newly formed mud puddles. Cameron just groaned, deciding that her first stop when they reached Kirkwall would be the Hanged Man. Surely nothing else could go wrong today and a good hard drink would be just the thing she needed.

Upon entering the City of Chains, Aveline split off for the barracks to file her report and get cleaned up. Cameron escorted the ever cheerful Merrill back to the alienage, and left Bean to stand guard outside her uncle's hovel. Finally free, she made her way to the Hanged Man. It was busier than usual, and Cameron guessed it was due to the ever present storm outside. The line at the bar was at least three people deep, and the always intoxicated waitress was too busy rushing from table to bar and back again. Sighing, and too miserable to wait, Cameron took a page from Isabela's book and slipped behind the bar and into the storage room.

It was in the back room of the Hanged Man, that the Maker's third and most disturbing trial occurred. Cameron moved deeper into the storage room, knowing full well that the best stuff was always stored in the back. Due to the noise of the bar, it took until she was right on top of them to hear the familiar voices.

"Not so much of a pup now, am I?" Carver growled as he plowed into the purring pirate who was bent over a cask of ale. Cameron stood for a minute, staring unable to believe what she was seeing, and wishing she wasn't seeing it. It was one thing to know what her brother did in his spare time; it was a completely different thing to actually see it.

Luckily, the two seemed too preoccupied to even have noticed Cameron and she took that opportunity to quickly dash from the storage room and directly into the drunken waitress with a tray full of the cheapest swill the Hanged Man carried. The waitress cursed at Cameron, but she was not listening. Drenched in blood, rain and now rat piss ale, Cameron had had enough. Angrily she pushed her way from the Hanged Man, back into the rain and headed towards Hightown. The look on her face was a dare to anyone to mess with her. No one took that challenge.

The creak of the door opening was barely loud enough to reach the second floor of the mansion, but Fenris's hearing was by far greater than that of any normal person, human or elf. It had been one of the many attributes that garnered Danarius's interest in the elf. He took his sword in hand, and deftly hid in the shadows of the stairwell. Down below he saw the familiar, if soaked form of his contradicting mage. She shut the door behind her, leaning against the wood her fingers at her temples.

"Fenris?" she called out, her tone pleading. He stepped from the shadows, looking down at her bedraggled state. Taking a breath, she began, "I know I was just here the other day, but please, I've had one hell of a day and could really use-" Fenris cut her off.

"A deal is a deal. Your things are in the bathing room," before he turned to return to the study he heard her exhalation of relief and saw the stunning smile light her face. He listened as she made her way up the stairs, after she had passed his study, he counted the steps he knew it would take for her to enter the bathing room and silently followed. Consciously he had no idea why he followed her, but he knew she would light the fire in the bathing room. He knew she would heat the water in the tub, and he knew that each flicker of magic would send tingles of pleasure through his body.

He hadn't expected her to leave the second door opened as he entered the bedroom. He stayed to the shadows and refused to look in on her. He let a soft sigh escape his lips as he felt the spell lighten the room beyond. He heard her pumping water, heard her peal off her robes; heard the sloshing of water as he assumed she was cleaning the clothes she had recently removed. He listened as she hung her now clean garments by the fire; listened as she poured the filthy water out, only to refill the tub with clean water. His markings tingled again as he knew she heated the water, and he listened as she stepped into the scented bath, sighing contentedly. He left then, back to the safety of his study.

He paced before the large fire, a bottle of wine in his hand. Each pass he made, he would take a swig of the spiced wine. He didn't understand what was going on in his head. He should hate her, but he didn't. He shouldn't trust her, but he did. She was a mage, and a powerful one at that; even without the use of blood magic. He shuddered at the thought of what she could do if she finally succumbed to a demon's temptation. He stopped his pacing when he realized his thought was if, not when. Every mage fell. The two others she traveled with where proof enough. But why was he questioning her? Why did he doubt she would succumb? What made her different?

His thoughts were interrupted by the soft clearing of her throat. He turned and his jaw dropped when he saw her. Her hair was towel dried and fell in ringlets around her heart shaped face. Her deep sapphire eyes looked black in the low light, and the fire's glow made her pale skin glisten where it was still damp. She was covered simply in a towel that she held to her chest and fell almost to her knees. She held out her free hand in question.

"After today, I could use a drink. May I?" Fenris took control of his thoughts and nodded, handing her the bottle. When her fingers brushed his lyrium lined ones, she gasped. A surprising wave of pleasure rushed from her fingers through her body. She tried to hide her shock by tipping the bottle back and taking a long swig of the wine. When she finally looked back at Fenris, if he had noticed her reaction, he made no sign of it. Instead he picked up another bottle, uncorking it and taking a short drink himself.

"Why aren't you dressed?" he finally managed to ask, glad that his voice was as steely as ever. Cameron seemed to have forgotten her state of dress, and blushed. She needed to be wary with how safe she felt with this man.

"Um, I didn't see where my shift was. It wasn't in the bathroom with everything else." Fenris mentally cursed himself. He remembered exactly where it was. It was curled up in the sheets of his bed where he had left it. Her scent was calming to him, and he found it easier to sleep with it near.

"Perhaps you left it on the bed? I do not search the sheets between your times here." He hoped that explanation would suffice and she wouldn't dig further. She nodded.

"That does seem likely," she took one last swig from the wine bottle, emptying it. She set the empty bottle down on the table before heading back the way she had come, "I'll check there." Before she left the room however, she turned back to him. "Thank you, Fenris. I, really appreciate everything you've done for me. I know it can't be easy for you hosting a mage and all. But I need you to know that I trust you. And I hope one day, you will be able to trust me just as much," she smiled gently at him and finally left him alone in the study.

"I believe I already do," he whispered to the doorway she had passed through.


	5. Chapter 4

Fenris had finished his second bottle of wine and was on the third as he was once again pacing before the fire. He had imagined it, he told himself. He didn't see the flush on her cheeks or hear the gasp of pleasure when she had touched his bare hand. He hadn't; he couldn't have, because it didn't happen.

With his third bottle empty, and Cameron sure to be asleep, he slipped into the bedroom. He didn't know what he was trying to prove or even what he was hoping to accomplish, but he was drunk and his thoughts would not let him rest until he touched her again.

He stood in the doorway of the bedroom, a banked fire the only light to see by. He waited for his eyes to adjust, watching the bed for any movement. Finally he could see her, curled in a ball and wrapped around his pillow. By her slow, even breathing he knew her to be asleep. Cameron didn't stir as he cautiously and quietly moved closer. His eyes roamed over what he could see of her sleeping form. Her hair had fallen across her face and he reached out to push it back. His fingers brushed against her face and her reaction was immediate.

She sighed in pleasure, turning her face into his hand. Fenris was too shocked to move and let her nuzzle his hand with her cheek. She moved onto her back, moaning softly as she stretched out before him. Something else took him over then, as his free hand traced the outline of muscle on her newly exposed thigh. Her breath caught at his new touch and she gripped the sheets beneath her calling his name on an exhalation.

His name on her lips snapped him back to reality and he jerked his hands away from her. With his touch gone, Cameron began to stir awake. Fenris barely managed to escape the bedroom before she fully awoke and the burst of magic from her as she lit the room nearly sent him to his knees in bliss.

He had to move; had to get away. He heard the bed creaking as she rose. He made it to the study before she could see him in the hall, but she never left the bedroom. He fell back against the wall by the fire, his breath heavy and his heart pounding in his chest. He swiped the sweat from his brow, trying to process what had just happened. The glimpse of surprised pleasure he had seen earlier was in fact real. But what did it mean? And did she know he was there, or did she think it just a dream? She had called his name, and it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard.

The next morning when Cameron woke, Fenris was no where to be found. She supposed it was a good thing. She didn't know how she'd be able to look at him with memories of that dream floating in her mind. It had seemed so real; so erotic. She shivered as she remembered the delight that coursed through her body. She had _never_ had a dream or even a thought like that before. She had to stop thinking about it or she'd never be able to face Fenris again.

She ran into Isabela as she wandered through Lowtown in search of yet another new robe. The pirate grabbed Cameron's arm tugging her through the market district.

"I like Lowtown. It's an honest sort of place. People will rob you blind, but they're honest about it."

"I can't disagree with that," Cameron responded half heartedly, her thoughts still lingering on her dream from the night before. Isabela noticed the distracted look on the mage and pulled her into an alley for some privacy.

"Is this about me and Carver? Cuz you know it was just fun," Isabela ventured. The sudden image of her brother and friend rushed into Cameron's mind and she shook her head to clear the image away.

"What -?" Isabela cocked a brow and hip.

"Please, Hawke. I haven't survived this long with out knowing exactly what's happening around me."

"So you knew I was there. But for Carver's erection's sake you didn't mention it?" Isabela laughed.

"That and my impending orgasm, nothing's as much of a downer as coitus interuptus." Cameron bit her lip as if she wanted to ask something, but couldn't bring herself to. Isabela smirked.

"Don't tell me you want to know how well Carver performed," Isabela couldn't help the giggle at Cameron's look of horror. "Just kidding. But seriously, what's on your mind? There's obviously _something _there or you wouldn't be this quiet." Cameron sighed, deciding that if anyone was qualified to give her advice on the subject, it would be the worldly pirate.

"What's it…no. I had this dream last night. A kind of dream I've never had before. It seemed so _real_. Like he was right next to me –"

"Wait, who was right next to you? Is this some sort of scary demon mage dream?" Cameron shook her head, a blush staining her cheeks as she recalled the dream.

"No, nothing like that. It was," she licked her lips, "Fenris." Realization dawned on the pirate and she grinned.

"Was he oiled up and glistening?" Cameron swatted Isabela.

"No! Don't be absurd!" Isabela rubbed her arm in mock pain.

"Well if he wasn't oiled and glistening what was he doing that's got you so worked up?" Cameron shrugged, looking away.

"He was just touching me. Stroking my cheek." Isabela rolled her eyes.

"Leave it to a virgin to have the most boring erotic dreams." It was Cameron's turn to roll her eyes.

"Hey some of us never got the opportunity to experiment, what with Templars everywhere."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Cameron averted her eyes as yet another blush crept onto her cheeks.

"Well, sometimes, mages sort of um, 'explode' when they reach orgasm."

"Oh. Well I guess that does explain more of Anders' electricity tricks." Cameron gawked at Isabela.

"You slept with Anders?"

"It was a long time ago back in Denerium. He had just escaped from the tower for the, fifth time I think. It was a good time. I'd do it again, but that Justice guy sorta creeps me out." Cameron laughed, hooking her arm around the pirate's.

"Come on; help me pick out a new robe for the expedition. We finally got the gold together and I just can't let the darkspawn see me in this worn out thing."


	6. Chapter 5

They had been in the Deep Roads for little more than a week, and Varric had yet to stop complaining. Everyone on the expedition besides the three other dwarves seemed to be suffocating in the tunnels. After three days, Cameron gave up and systematically began cutting away at her heavy velvet robes. The first things to go were the sleeves, and no one noticed the small change. Over the next few days, Cameron's skirt began to get shorter and shorter. It was Carver who finally spoke up, the rest of the men content to watch and wait.

"What do you think you're doing?" he hissed at her when he caught her cutting slits along the sides of her now mid thigh length skirt. She pursed her lips and continued her cut.

"It's hot," she muttered at him, finishing her current alteration.

"Yes it bloody well is, but what do _you_ think you're _doing_?" he asked again, tilting his head towards the hirelings who had been watching her. Cameron glared at her brother, angrily thrusting her dagger back into its sheath.

"Just because I'm a woman I have to suffer this heat?" she shot back. Carver stared at her in exasperation.

"Yes!" Fenris and Varric both watched the back and forth between siblings with increasing amusement. They both agreed with Cameron, but knew Carver had a point. She was the only woman in the tunnels, and they noticed the distracted looks the other men directed at her increasingly diminishing clothing.

"Now, now. Let's not fight each other," Varric finally interrupted when the argument seemed one word short of violence. "There are darkspawn in these tunnels that deserve that fire more."

"There is no talking sense with you!" Carver spat at his sister before stalking back to his bedroll. Cameron glared daggers at his back, but then sighed. She turned to Varric.

"Thank you," she said softly, "I know he has a point, but really?" she threw her hands up in annoyance. "As if _any_ of these men would be stupid enough to do anything." She plopped down onto her bed roll.

"Oh they're doing stuff," Varric remarked. "Just not with you." Cameron rolled her eyes and laughed.

"What they do in the privacy of their bedrolls doesn't concern me,"

"Sometimes it is not in the privacy of their bedrolls," Fenris stated, joining in on the conversation. Cameron's nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Did you have to tell me?"

"Nope, but he did anyway." Cameron giggled, looking back and forth between the two men.

"You know something," she began, smiling gently, "being here with you two is the only thing that makes this trip bearable." Varric laughed.

"You're just saying that so I'll put you on my tab," Cameron swatted playfully at the dwarf. Fenris kept silent, content to watch the playful antics of his two companions. It was Bartrand that interrupted them.

"Sodding incompetent – " Bartrand stalked up to them muttering obscenities. Varric rolled his eyes and stood to greet his brother.

"What's wrong?" Cameron asked, standing.

"A sodding cave in blocked the path forward. It'll be at least a week to clear the rubble." Fenris noted the stiffening in Cameron's posture.

"Shouldn't we try to find a way around?" Varric asked, just as cold to the idea of a longer stay as Cameron.

"Scouts say it's too dangerous."

"Well, that's why you have people like me," Cameron piped in, already picking up her bladed staff. "We'll find away around for you." Bartrand snorted.

"Look, we'll go on ahead, and if we come back screaming, you'll know that staying put was a good idea." Varric chimed in with Cameron.

"Do whatever. We'll stay here," Bartrand turned from them shouting to one of the hirelings as he walked away. Bodahn frantically took his place in front of Cameron and Varric.

"I'm sorry Messers, but I fear I must trouble you further. It's my boy, Sandal, he's wandered off. He just doesn't understand danger like he should." he told them, wringing his hands in worry. Cameron smiled at the older dwarf.

"Don't worry; we'll bring him back in one piece. Or maybe two, it's hard to say," Bodahn didn't seem to hear her second sentence, and wandered back to his and Sandal's bed rolls feeling just a little bit better.

"Carver," Cameron called over to her brother. "Time for us to be heroes." Carver rolled his eyes, but gathered his things to follow.

Cameron led them through the first of the side passages, finding no resistance. Quizzically she turned to Varric.

"Weren't these side passages supposed to be dangerous?" Varric shrugged in answer.

"These corpses are fresh," Fenris spoke up.

"Yeah, they aren't even cold yet." Carver chimed in having knelt to examine one of the bodies.

"Strange," Cameron mused before stepping into a larger cave opening littered with darkspawn corpses. In the middle of the carnage was a lone dwarf, his back to the party. Carver looked on unbelieving and Fenris smirked.

"Is that, Bodahn's boy?" Varric asked. At his father's name, the young dwarf turned to them, a smile on his face.

"Hallo." Cameron laughed and walked over to the boy. When she reached him, Sandal handed her a stone pulsing with power. Confused, she simply took it.

"Did you kill all these darkspawn yourself?" she asked him. He grinned brighter.

"Boom!" he answered joyfully. She bit back a laugh and her eye caught the perfectly preserved ogre that had been stopped mid charge.

"And how did you do that?"

"Not enchantment," he said matter-of-factly. He began trudging over the corpses heading to the camp as if he knew he needed to go back. The four companions watched the boy in amazement and it was Varric that finally broke the silence.

"Smart boy."

Farther along in the winding tunnels, they were ambushed by a small party of darkspawn. Hurlock scouts charged at them while bolters shot from a distance.

"Now we have some fun!" Carver exclaimed, charging forward and swinging his two handed sword in a forward arch. He caught two of the scouts in his initial swing, slicing them in half. He turned his attention to a third scout who tried to flank him. The pummel of his sword sent the creature to the cavern's floor. Before he could finish it off, a second came at him from the other side and he barely had a chance to parry the blow.

Fenris remained silent as he swung his hammer in controlled strikes, knocking hurlocks into each other and to the ground. The sound of bones cracking and flesh splitting were his battle cries. His markings glowed brighter with each death and his speed increased. Deftly he traveled across the battle field, leaving broken bodies in his wake.

Cameron and Varric put their sights on the bolters. Varric letting loose a volley of arrows to accompany Cameron's storm of fire and lighting. It didn't take long for the small scouting party to fall.

"Bloody hell," Carver grumbled, trying in vain to pull a darkspawn dagger from his shoulder. Fenris yanked it out for him, causing Carver to cry out a second curse at the none too gentle removal. Fenris shrugged, dropping the blood covered weapon. No one noticed the smears of black blood along the blade beneath the brighter red of Carver's blood.

"Come," Cameron whispered. Her eyes began to glow a soft green and Fenris's markings began humming in earnest. She was calling a spirit, he knew, but he didn't feel his usual unease. She was not summoning the spirit into the world like Merrill, and she wasn't calling it into herself like Anders did. Fenris wasn't sure what she was doing exactly, but the spell and spirit didn't linger long. When the glow in her eyes faded, Carver's wound was quickly closing, the skin stitching itself back together.

"Thanks," Carver mumbled, rolling his now healed shoulder. Cameron simply smiled at him and walked on. The remainder of the side passage was cleaned of the darkspawn with quick and brutal efficiency and soon they found themselves on the other side of the collapse.

"Perfect! Let's go tell Bartrand. He'll be so pleased." Varric remarked after determining their location.

"The sooner we're out of here the happier I'll be," Cameron responded, unconsciously loosening the ties at the front of her robes. Carver growled and slapped at her hands.

"Maker help me!" he exclaimed glaring at his sister. "Are you just going to wander around in your small clothes?" Cameron blushed, but glared at her brother.

"Maybe. Why not?" she asked, mostly just to rile her brother. He snorted in response.

"Because no one wants to see that." At that Cameron laughed.

"Then why should it matter, if no one is looking?" Carver glared harder at her, annoyed with her logic.

"Well, _I_ don't want to see that. Besides, you're a mage; can't you just I don't know ice your clothes or something?" Cameron just stared at him, having not thought to use her magic that way.

"That never occurred to me." She answered him honestly. Carver was speechless. It was Varric who finally voiced Carver's thoughts.

"Did Carver just win an argument? Against _you_?" Cameron shrugged.

"He made a valid argument with which I did not have a valid response." Varric laughed, slapping Carver on the back.

"Good job!" Carver coughed at the unexpected hit. Cameron rolled her eyes and started walking away. Fenris fell into step next to her.

"Why didn't it occur to you?" he asked quietly, curious. She shrugged again.

"It didn't occur to me because I don't think of magic like that. I was taught that it was a precious gift and I shouldn't, what's the right word? Flaunt it unnecessarily. I use my skills to help others, not to make my life easier. Does that make sense?" she asked, looking at Fenris as they walked. He pursed his lips in thought before nodding.

"If only all mages thought that way." Cameron sighed, a look of sorrow passing over her eyes as she gazed at him. He didn't want her pity and sped up his pace away from her. The walk back to camp was made in silence.

At camp, Carver pulled a fresh shirt from his pack to replace the ripped and bloody one he wore. He noticed as he pulled the dirty shirt over his head, his injured shoulder still pained him even after Cameron's magical ministrations. Gingerly he touched his shoulder where the blade went through in front. A sharp sting of pain was his reward, and he noticed the skin around the scar was beginning to turn black. Panicked, he checked to see if anyone saw him. Cameron and Varric were explaining the situation to Bartrand while Fenris was getting an enchantment added to his weapon. The rest of the expedition seemed distracted with cleaning up camp. Carver hastily put the new shirt on, vowing not to tell anyone what he suddenly feared.

It took another day, as far as anyone could tell, to get to the ancient thaig. Sandal seemed particularly wary of the place and did not leave Bodahn's side. Bartrand was clearly intrigued, and Varric shared the hirelings' less than enthused feelings.

"Do you think we'll find anything down there?" he asked Cameron before the four set out to search farther in. Cameron sensed his need for humor and smiled.

"Chances are we'll find some rocks, darkspawn, maybe a few bones." Varric snorted, appreciating her attempt.

"Guess we'll just have to go in and check."

The crumbling hallways of the thaig were deserted. It seemed even the darkspawn shied away from this place, which left an uneasy knot in the pit of Cameron's stomach. Despite their concern, the party continued on until they came to a ceremonial room with a raised dais and something on the center alter. Upon closer inspection a sinister looking idol of pure lyrium rested in the place of honor.

Varric was in awe, shouting out for his brother. Hesitantly, Cameron reached down for the idol and suddenly Fenris's markings began singing as if she cast a spell. He watched the mage, who seemed unaware of the sudden surge of magic, give the idol to Varric.

"Pure lyrium! This should be worth a fortune!" Varric enthused, tossing the statue down to his brother. "We should look around further, there might be more."

"You do that," Bartrand responded, quietly closing the chamber door after him. Cameron noticed the closing door, crying out to the others as she hurried to the exit.

"Bartrand! The door closed behind you!" Varric called out, slamming his fist against the stone door. They could hear Bartrand laughing on the other side.

"You were always quick to notice things, Varric." Bartrand called back. "Did you really think I was going to let you split this three ways? The location of this thaig alone is worth hundreds." They heard his laughter grow quieter as he walked away, content to leave them to die. Varric stared at the door in disbelief. Soon that disbelief changed to anger.

"Bartrand you son-of-a-bitch – sorry mother – so help me when I get out of here!" Cameron laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Why don't we see if there's another way out, unless you'd like to keep yelling at the door?" she joked, trying to ease the tension that was building within the room. Varric nodded, turning from the door.

"You're right. There has to be another way out."

They made their way across the room to a second exit, the stone door here having crumbled in on itself. The lighting in this part of the thaig was no longer the rivers of magma that flowed through all of the deep roads, but bands of lyrium glowing blue and red through out the rock walls. Cameron shivered unconsciously as she nervously led the group forward. She felt something was wrong just as Fenris did. His tattoos glowed bright as they were suddenly surrounded by shades.

"Shit!" Cameron screamed as she sent a cone of ice shooting in front of her at two shades that appeared before the group. Fenris barely let the spell finish before he ghosted through the first of the shades, shattering it. Varric took out the second frozen one with a rhyming triplet from Bianca. Carver pushed back a third, sinking his blade deep into the spectral matter before slicing up and through.

The group pushed through the shades with ease. These were barely formed specters trying desperately to get a foot hold. It was the ease of victory that dropped Cameron's guard. She was focused on throwing a bolt of lighting at a small group of the shades when the sudden, searing pain dropped her to her knees.

Some_thing_ formed behind her, slicing deep into her back, splitting skin and revealing bone. She slumped forward unconscious from the shock of the attack. The last thing she heard was Fenris calling her name.

She felt cold metal on her cheek and screaming agony from her back. A force was trying to bring her closer to consciousness; she could barely hear Carver over the sound of blood rushing through her ears.

"Shit, this is a lot of blood," Carver was pressing bandages against her back, trying in vain to stop the flow of blood. Fear stalking his features, he pushed harder on her back. He was rewarded with a squeak of pain. Cameron tried to twist away from his clumsy hands, but another pair held her still. Groggily, she looked down at one of the gauntleted hands that held her in place. Carver let out a sigh of relief, lessening his pressure on her injury.

"Well you certainly gave us quite the fright," Varric remarked, kneeling down next to her and Fenris. He pushed a bottle against her lips, then helped tip her head back so the medicine could flow down her throat. She coughed at the bitter taste, unconsciously swatting at Fenris's chest guard. Fenris simply held onto her, relief washing over him as the draught worked its way through her system.

"What hit me?" her voice was hoarse from pain. No one answered right away; they just looked at each other unsure what to say. Gingerly, Cameron opened her eyes. "Well?"

"We don't actually know," Varric finally answered. "But whatever it was, it's dead now." Despite herself, Cameron laughed which turned into a groan as her back began to bleed again. She closed her eyes again, and Fenris stiffened as he felt the magic wash over her. He watched in awe as first the muscle and sinew fused together, followed by the stitching of flesh. When the spell had finished, her back was smooth with no sign of the grievous wound except for the drying blood and torn robe.

Slowly, she pushed herself up, unaware that her robes were not following her. Fenris caught the fabric before it fell too far, holding it against her shoulder. Cameron blushed crimson, despite her earlier bravado. Now that her head was clear she could feel the leather of her breast band against her stomach and the ragged edges of her robe sticking to her blood coated sides.

"Huh," she tried to laugh "I don't suppose anyone has an extra robe handy?" the men shook their heads. "Figures," she muttered. "Carver, can I have your shirt?" she turned to her brother, expecting little argument. He stood up, backing away from her.

"What do you need my shirt for?" he asked, a trace of fear in his voice that was overlooked by the annoyance growing in his sister.

"What do you think I need it for? Unless you want me to make the trek to the surface in my smallclothes," she snapped back.

"Can't you just magic your clothes together?" he retorted.

"No, Carver I can't. I didn't learn the 'stitch clothes' spell. I was more focused on the mending flesh ones," she growled.

"Now, kids, let's not fight," Varric intervened, only to be glared at by both Hawkes. Varric held his hands up in surrender. "Never mind." Cameron was just about to yell at her brother again, when the sound of metal on stone caught her attention. Fenris had pulled off both gauntlets and was working at the buckles of his chest guard.

"Fenris?" she began. Fenris shook his head and peeled off the leather arm wraps with the chest guard. He loosened the laces around his throat and pulled off the leather jerkin he wore. Cameron could only stare up at him when he handed her the jacket. The lyrium markings traveled down his neck, tracing muscle and sinew. They traced his ribs, circling back to follow the line of his obliques, and disappeared beneath his pants. He was hard, lean muscle and Cameron was captivated. Fenris noted her interest with a raised brow and small smirk. Varric's voice broke her from her trance, and she blushed harder.

"At least one of us is a gentleman," Varric remarked, deciding to let Cameron's infatuation go for the moment. He tugged Carver away, a gesture to give Cameron some privacy. Fenris picked up his armor and followed the others, deftly putting it back on over his skin. Cameron sat there watching him until he was out of sight.

Sighing softly and licking her lips she pulled the jerkin on. She had to loosen the laces around the chest, but over all it fit – barely. The jerkin fell to just beneath her buttocks due to her hips, but she could move freely and she was covered to her relief.

She smiled as she ran her hand down the leather along her side. It was soft and smelled heavily of its elven owner; sweat mixed with incense and spice. She remembered a similar scent when she was in the Qunari compound and assumed that this was what the Seheron smelled like. She left her tattered robes and followed the others.

It was Varric who noticed her first, and whistled.

"If you keep up that look, you're going to make Isabela jealous." Cameron laughed.

"Well she'll have to ask Fenris for the tailor. Come on, we still need to find away out." Cameron said, leading the group further down the path. This time Fenris let Carver take second while he took up the rear. He did not want to be distracted by the young woman in front. He had not expected the sudden visceral reaction he had when he saw her, and he was not about to let that distract him with their lives on the line.

They encountered more of the odd stone creatures, but this time they were ready. The monsters fell quickly and easily to sword and spell. It was not long before a larger one formed, calling out to Cameron.

"Stop! I will not see these creatures killed needlessly." its voice reverberated in the stone and hollow eyes stared at her.

"Hey, kill or be killed. They chose first." She responded angrily, clutching at her staff.

"They will attack you no longer."

"And we're supposed to take your word for it?" she asked.

"The Profane listen to me. They will not attack."

"The Profane? That's what those creatures are?" Varric chimed in, feeling twitchy. The stone creature turned its head towards him.

"I am not as they are. I would not see my feast end." Cameron rolled her eyes.

"Ok, demon, what's your schpiel?" She asked it, more interested in leaving than talking.

"You wish to leave. I know the way."

"And? What do you want out of the deal?" she responded, angrily. It cocked its stone head to the side, indicating a room farther along the passage. Fenris was on edge, they shouldn't be talking to a demon.

"There is a creature farther in that confuses me. I wish it dead. When that happens, you will find a key. The door will take you from this place." Cameron sighed.

"You talk too much," and a fist of earth shattered into the demon sending its stone body to the ground. "Now we know how to leave." Confidently, she strode over the rocky corpse. The three men stood dumbfounded for a minute before running after her.

Cameron's confidence quickly dissipated as a giant creature of stone and magic formed in front of the party and a magic barrier prevented escape.

"I don't believe it! A rock wraith?! They're supposed to be a myth!" Varric exclaimed, pulling Bianca from her shoulder harness.

"Looks pretty real to me!" Cameron called back, focusing her magic into a fire storm around the creature. Neither Fenris nor Carver spoke as they dashed into the creature, sword and hammer slamming into the stone body. It retaliated against the attack with a focused burst of magic that sent the fighters flying. The attack left the creature drained and vulnerable for a follow up. Varric rained arrows down on its head while Cameron shot blasts of ice and fire into its prone form. Fenris pulsed with power as he swung his hammer into the creature. Carver tried his best to keep pace with the others, but was slowing. His fatigue did not hinder them as a final spell from Cameron sent the creature screaming into the void.

"Well, that was fun," Cameron panted, leaning on her staff. "Can we do it again?" Carver glared at her, and she grinned in response. Varric shook his head and scouted the adjoining room.

"Hawke!" he called, "You are not going to believe this!" Curious they followed Varric into the next room. Trinkets, gold and artifacts lined the walls and spilled onto the floor. The room practically glowed with the treasure. Cameron literally jumped in joy, spinning around to dance with her brother in celebration. Fenris smiled, watching his companions.

"We should take as many of the best pieces as we can carry. We can get the rest later," Varric said appraising the loot. Cameron nodded, finally noticing the door at the end of the room, a key resting in the lock.

"And I bet that's our way out."

They traveled up through the tunnels, dragging treasure on make-shift stretchers and eating whatever edible fungi they found along the way. Wherever they were in the deep roads, nothing else seemed to live.

Days later they discovered remains of fresh fires. They had finally found their way back to the tunnels they knew.

"Yep, looks like we're about five days from the surface," Varric stated after checking for the markers he left on the way down.

"Can we, um, can we take a rest? I'm not feeling right" Carver finally asked. Cameron smiled.

"Sure, we can take a break. I'm sure all of our stomachs are feeling a bit tender right now."

"Must have been those deep mushrooms we had." Varric said with a laugh. Carver fell to his knees.

"No, it's not –"he passed out before he could finish. Cameron rushed to his side, screaming out his name. Fear gripped her and she began shaking him, calling his name. In her terror she ripped his shirt, the cloth peeling away to reveal the blackened skin of infection that encased his side.

"No," she whispered softly. "No, no, no!" each word louder than the last, each word punctuated with her fist on the stone beside Carver. Fenris grabbed her hands, tugging her to look at him, to focus on something other than her brother.

"What's wrong?" he asked her, but she wasn't answering. She just shook her head, tears raining from her eyes. Fenris looked up at Varric who stood above them, concerned but at a loss himself.

Carver groaned, slowly returning to consciousness. Cameron pulled away from Fenris, wiping the tears from her eyes and smiled down at her brother.

"Leave it to you to keep something like this to yourself," she told him, sorrow tinting her voice. Carver just looked away from her, not wanting to see the sadness in her eyes.

"You'll take care of it won't you? Just like that templar." He took her hand, squeezing gently. She bit her lip to hold back the sob.

"No, we'll get you help. It's only five days. You can make it," she pleaded with him. He squeezed her hand again, turning his eyes to her.

"It's too late for me. You can see that. Please, Sister. This is the last thing I'll ever ask of you." Cameron stared at her brother before finally nodding.

"It won't be like Bethany. I'll bring you home," she promised him, pulling the dagger at his waist. "I love you Carver," she whispered before plunging the blade into his chest. He cried out in pain, but a smile crossed his dying lips. She fought for her control until the light finally left Carver's eyes.

She didn't scream though she wanted to. Instead she let the tears fall from her eyes, ignoring Fenris and Varric, and pulled the dagger from her brother's chest. "Not like Bethany," she whispered, crossing his arms over his chest.

Fenris pulled Varric away as he felt the spell begin. Fire poured from Cameron's fingertips as she prayed softly; reciting the words Ser Wesley had said over her sister's body. Even as his body began to burn on its own, Cameron did not stop until she was completely drained; finally falling over next to the pile of ash that was her brother.


	7. Chapter 6

It seemed like a day before Cameron finally roused from her drained slumber, Carver's name on her lips as if praying it had all been a dream. The pile of ash she lay next to doused that hope with burning tears.

Varric quietly cursed Bartrand under his breath, keeping a distance from Cameron's grief. He wasn't entirely sure what had happened to prompt Cameron into killing Carver, but if it was what he believed, it was far from her fault. In fact she did him a mercy. He had heard the tales of the tainted scavengers that wandered the deep roads, all but darkspawn themselves. It was a fate he wouldn't even wish on Bartrand after his betrayal.

Fenris finally returned from scouting the tunnels ahead of them. There had been signs of their previous travels down, but no sign of anything living. A part of him did not want to return to Cameron. He feared this tragedy would send her crying into the arms of a demon to change the fate of her brother. But when he returned, he saw a woman simply grieving. He felt no magic singing in his brands, but a tugging in his belly at the pain she was failing to hide.

"Do we know what happened?" Fenris finally asked Varric as quietly as he could, but it was Cameron that answered.

"It was the taint," her voice was hoarse from crying, but her mask of bravery was slowly moving back into place. "There is only one cure. And we don't have it."

She stood then on shaky legs and rummaged through their treasure haul until she found a jewel inlaid flask. "I promised I'd take you home," She whispered to the ashes as she slowly scooped them into the container. Varric moved to help, but Fenris's hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"She needs to do this herself," he whispered to the dwarf. After a moment, Varric nodded in agreement.

"Bartrand better start sleeping with one eye open from now on."

Finally Cameron placed as much of her brother into the flask as she could and pushed the sealed container into the front of Fenris's jerkin over her heart and turned back to her remaining party. She was covered in soot, blood and tears. Her fists and knees were scraped from pounding on the rocky cavern floor, but her mask was fully in place.

"It's time we leave," was the only thing she said as she picked up her treasure stretcher and led the way through the caves. Varric and Fenris followed behind, but left some distance to give her space in her grief.

Varric was right in his estimate of five days to the surface, and it was the cool breath of wind and warmth of the sun that finally brought a smile to Cameron's stained face. Varric let out a sigh of relief, and the tightness in Fenris's belly loosened just a bit at her smile.

"If I remember correctly, there was a stream near this entrance and we could set up camp there. Maybe catch a fish or something to get some real food in our bellies?" Varric asked cautiously. Rest and food were things they all needed, and the cleansing water of the stream would do a world of good for Cameron. To his relief Cameron nodded.

"That's a good idea, Varric. We all need the rest. Let's find that stream."

They split up the duties with Cameron and Varric finding kindling and wood for a fire and Fenris waded into the sun warmed stream to catch their dinner and rinse the filth of the deep roads from his body. As he stepped into the ring of their new camp his markings tingled as Cameron lit the fire with little more than a snap of her fingers. Fenris shivered at the sheer feeling of power that emanated from the mage, yet it confused him utterly that he didn't fear her as he did all other mages.

He tossed his catch to Varric who sat closest to the fire. Cameron had moved away from them, resting against a tree and idly fingering the urn through the leather of her borrowed jerkin. Varric and Fenris shared a concerned look before Varric called out to her.

"Hey, Hawke! Why don't you wash up? We'll…Well, we'll keep an eye on Carver for you." Cameron dropped her head, letting her dirty white curls hide her face before nodding. Reverently she removed the urn and brought it to the fire. Hesitantly she rummaged through her brother's belongings and pulled out his last spare shirt before leaving the light of the fire and moving off into the darkening night.

"I'm worried about her. She's taking this pretty hard. You don't think she'll do something stupid, do you?" Varric asked Fenris as they watched her walk out of sight.

"I would not put it past any mage to do something stupid."

"Yeah, well she's not just _any_ mage, now is she?" Fenris shot a glare at Varric and growled.

"You cook, I'll go check on her," before Varric could voice an objection, Fenris was already moving silently away in the direction Cameron had gone.

Years of being in the shadows had made him extremely good at staying out of sight, and when the object of the hunt was distracted or hurt, it made things easier. Cameron had no idea she was being watched from the woods, or if she did, she made no hint of it. She had chosen a section of the bank in a clearing of trees with the full moon showing through the trees as it slowly made its way higher.

By the time Fenris had caught up to her, she had kicked off her boots and ripped off her gloves. Her back was to Fenris, so he could only assume the movements of her hands were unlacing the front of his jerkin. His assumption was accurate as she then peeled the tight leather from her body. It was sheer force of will to turn his head as she bent and slid her small clothes down her legs. He didn't turn his head again until he heard the splashing of water. He realized his mistake when he saw she was still only ankle deep in the cooling water. The shadows from the trees kept her mostly hidden, but the mystery was overwhelming his senses. She was thin for a human, but her arms and legs were tightly corded with muscle. Her hips flared out from a small waist and toned abdomen.

She moved farther into the water, and farther out of the shadows. Her back was still to him, but now he could see the outline of one seemingly perfectly shaped breast, and it was all he could do not to leave the shadows. Fearing his own emotions more than his concern for Cameron he left almost as quietly as he had followed.

The snapping of a twig alerted Cameron she had not been alone, but when nothing else occurred, she simply ignored it as an animal in the brush. She spent a good hour sitting in the stream, sometimes scrubbing her skin raw, sometimes simply crying. It would be a few days before they reached Kirkwall, and for her mother's sake, she could no longer be grieving.

Varric waited patiently for an hour, but with no word or sign from either Fenris or Cameron he began to worry.

"Do you think we should go look for them? See if they're ok?" Varric asked the urn, as if Carver would respond. Then he simply laughed at himself. "You're right; it's your sister and the Elf. They can easily take out anything that might try and jump them in the middle of the night. But you'd think they'd come back and keep an eye on me. You know how delicate I can be."

"Who are you talking to?" it was Cameron's voice, finally returning from her bath dressed in Carver's shirt that clung to her damp skin. She carried her gloves and Fenris's soaked jerkin – apparently she had washed it as well as herself. Varric smiled up at her, glad that she seemed no more worse for wear than when she had left.

"No one in particular; just getting lonely and hungry sitting here alone with all this tasty smelling fish cooking," Cameron scanned the camp site, noting Fenris's absence.

"Where'd Fenris go?" obviously Cameron had not noticed Fenris's checking on her, so Varric responded with an abbreviated explanation.

"Scouting. You know, just in case." Cameron nodded, taking him at his word. She dropped her gloves and hung the freshly rinsed jerkin over a tree limb to dry. She returned to the fire, this time purposely sitting away from Carver's remains and reached for a bit of fish to ease the hunger knot in her stomach.

"Hope he gets back soon. The fish will get cold and there's nothing worse than cold fish for dinner," Varric remarked, trying to make conversation.

"There are worse things, trust me." It was Fenris, rejoining the camp. Without his armor and jerkin, his skin glowed in the low light and Cameron caught herself staring at him again. This time Fenris refused to look at her as he sat at the fire next to Varric, picking at his share of the cooked fish. Varric noted the sudden extra coldness from his broody companion and vowed that when they were alone again, he'd hear why.

After Cameron finished her small meal, she set about warding their camp. With all the travel and heartache, she couldn't bring herself to set a watch. At least this way, she would make it possible for the others to sleep through the night as well. She didn't believe they would, but it was the thought that counted. With her last ward in place, she slumped to the ground, using her pack as a pillow and drifted off into a fitful sleep.

As soon as he was sure Cameron was sleeping, Varric turned to Fenris. "So, inquiring minds want to know why you're in such an extra foul mood?" Fenris glared at the dwarf.

"I am not in a foul mood," he replied angrily. Varric cocked a brow at his tone.

"No, that's right you always glare, growl and avoid contact with Hawke. Did something happen? Did she…did she do _something_?" Fenris swallowed, the low light from the fire hiding the blush creeping up his cheeks and ears as he remembered exactly what she had done.

"She bathed. That was all." the knowing smirk that plastered itself onto Varric's face, made Fenris glare daggers at the dwarf.

"Oh, well than that explains _that._"

"_That_ explains _what_?"

"Well, Hawke is a beautiful woman, and if my heart didn't already belong to Bianca I'd-" Fenris shot from his seat with blinding speed until he was nose to nose with the dwarf.

"Not another word, Dwarf. To anyone." Varric raised his hands in surrender.

"Not another word about what happened tonight. Not that I _know_ what happened." Fenris leaned back into his place by the fire.

"You should sleep, Varric. I will take the first watch."

The days that passed as they made their way back to Kirkwall were uneventful. Varric would make conversation, mostly with himself, until gradually Cameron joined in. They joked and laughed, and things seemed to be returning to normal, until the day the City of Chains came into view. Reality hit Cameron like a brick and it took everything in her to keep moving forward. Mother had to know what happened. And this time, she would have Carver to mourn over.

"Hawke," Varric cut into her thoughts, "I'll take these things to my fence. You should see your family. I'll handle the business end of this." Cameron nodded her thanks, and without looking back made her way to her uncle's hovel.

"Mother?" she called as she entered the small home. At the sight of her daughter, her mother's face lit up and she ran to embrace her.

"Oh, Darling, you've returned! Were you successful? Where's Carver? Why isn't here with –" Leandra stopped asking questions when she saw the sullen look on her daughter's face. Cameron pulled the jeweled urn from her belt, placing it in her mother's hands.

"I brought him back. I promised I would," her voice was even, but the tears were clear in her tone. It took only a moment for Leandra to realize what she was given and told. She slapped Cameron hard across her check, snapping her head to the side.

"I told you not to take him! I told you this would happen!" Leandra was screaming at Cameron, sobs choking her words as she fell to her knees, gripping Carver's urn to her chest. Cameron tried, but could not hold her tears as she knelt with her mother, hugging her tightly through her raking sobs.

"I know, Mother. I know," she whispered into Leandra's grey hair.


	8. Chapter 7

It had been a month since the group had returned from the deep roads expedition, and true to his word, Varric handled the business end of things. No one had seen Cameron since their return, everyone assuming she needed the time to mourn with her mother. Gamlen still made frequent visits to the Blooming Rose, however, and was rarely seen near his hovel.

It was late in the evening when Fenris finally left the Hanged Man, a few sovereigns shorter and a few extra sheets to the wind. It wasn't difficult to make the trek back to his mansion. Even in his inebriated state he was alert and stayed to the shadows and the air of menace he exuded didn't hurt either. He expected to return home and fall into bed as he had done every night since their return. And each night Cameron didn't arrive was both a relief and a pain he couldn't explain.

Tonight however, was not what he had expected. He entered the mansion and a strange but all too familiar scent wafted down to him – honeyed cream. Slowly he made his way up the stairs, not sure what he was feeling as he made his way into his bedroom. The bathroom door was open, the room beyond illuminated, and her scent was stronger here. He stepped across the threshold of the bathing room and his heart skipped its normal beat.

She was there relaxing in the warm water, the scented steam obscuring her slightly. Her eyes were closed and she appeared to be asleep. He took a second step into the room, unsure if he should disturb her or not. Reason won out, and he called out to her. She stirred, opening her eyes and upon realizing who stood five feet away she sat bolt upright.

"Fenris! I, I wasn't expecting you," Fenris barely held his controlled mask as he stared at her, the tub's brim barely concealing her and his own mind filling in the blanks he remembered all too well.

"This is my home. Why would you not expect me?" his voice was even and controlled despite the turmoil boiling in his gut and loins. She sighed softly, falling back into the tub.

"That's not exactly what I meant. I guess I figured I'd be out before you got back. Guess I fell asleep again. Maker knows it's been an exhausting few months." She closed her eyes again, blinking back tears. "I'm sorry to have barged in here with out asking. I just, I just needed to get away. Go somewhere safe." Fenris smiled ever so slightly, but quickly replaced it with his mask of indifference.

"I do believe we had made a bet. There was no time frame given, so there has been no harm done." She smiled in response, but it was a sad smile.

"Well, since that's the case, this is going to be the last time I make use of my winnings. Mother's appeals and my _reputation_ have given us back the Amell estate. These last few weeks has been shopping and cleaning and more shopping," she sighed tiredly. "I'm glad it's given Mother something to do besides grieve, but I hate shopping and I hate cleaning even more." Fenris chuckled at that.

"With as often as you bathe, I find that hard to believe." His retort was rewarded with a laugh and a smile.

"Cleaning me and cleaning a house are two very different things."

"I would imagine." There was a twinkle in her eye as her smile broadened.

"Imagining me bathing, have you?" he had no response besides the sudden reddening of his cheeks and ears. Cameron giggled, unable to see his embarrassment in the low light of the dying fire. "Fenris, I believe you have had too much to drink if you can't even combat that simple quip. Let me get dressed and I'll be out of your hair tonight."

"You don't have to leave. Our deal included evenings here," he was grateful she didn't take note of his shame, but he didn't want her to leave. He didn't know what he wanted exactly, but her gone was definitely not it. She smiled up at him, curling herself against the tub and leaned over just enough to grab the towel on the side table.

"Good. I feel too loose and relaxed to make another trip this evening. I think I could fall asleep the minute my head hits your pillow." Relief and a touch of nervousness washed over him at her lack of fight. He simply nodded before leaving her to dry herself.

His head was swimming, and he doubted it had anything to do with the alcohol he had had earlier in the evening. If he was being truthful with himself, he knew he was lightheaded at the prospect of her spending one more night with him by extension. He had never forgotten her last night before their trip into the deep roads, the way a simple touch from him had her moaning his name or the image of her stepping into the stream in the moon light. The sudden flare of magic behind him in combination with his thoughts weakened his knees and he nearly fell over with the pleasure of it all. He caught himself loudly against the wall outside the bedroom, gasping at his unexpected reaction.

"Fenris?" Cameron rushed out, obviously hearing his fall against the wall, "Are you alright?" she moved next to him, her hand on his forehead to check for fever. He pulled away from her, afraid to touch her.

"Fine. Too much wine," he mumbled, moving to put more distance between them. The healer in Cameron would have none of it and grasped his leather covered arm, tugging him back towards her.

"If you've made yourself sick, you need to lie down," she dragged him back into the bedroom, pushing him down onto the bed. "I've been there, Fenris, it's not fun," she began unbuckling his gauntlets to his shock. She managed to get one off before Fenris wrestled free of her.

"I'm fine," he muttered backing away from her across the bed. Cameron sighed softly.

"Fenris, I won't use magic on you if you don't want me to. But please, just let me help you get comfortable. I don't want you to suffer for honor's sake." Relief washed over him, she had no idea why he was fighting her.

"I prefer to remove my own armor. And if it will please you, I shall lay down here."

"It does. Now, I'll go get you a glass of water. I doubt you have tea here, that's still good anyway. I want you to finish the whole glass before you go to sleep. It will help with the hang over." She smiled at him and left the room in search of a clean glass. Fenris took the time he now had to quickly clean himself and change into different pants and a loose sleeping shirt that had been left. He did his best to cover all of his lyrium markings, but could do nothing for his hands. Cameron returned with a glass in hand and climbed onto the bed next to Fenris.

"You'll feel better in the morning, trust me," She handed the glass to Fenris and he carefully took it from her, avoiding any possible contact. He drank the water quickly while Cameron watched; being sure he drank the whole of it. He set the now empty glass on the table beside the bed and moved to rise, only to be stopped by her hand on his arm.

"Fenris, not tonight. You aren't feeling well so you should take your bed. I can make my way back home. Don't worry, just feel better, ok?" he couldn't believe the words that fell from his lips, but knew he meant them.

"I would feel better if you did not go. If you insist I take the bed, I insist it is big enough for two. I will sleep better knowing you are safe." Cameron smiled tiredly.

"So long as you don't snore," and she turned in the bed, curling up with one of his pillows, her back to him. He lay rigid next to her trying to relax and trying to sleep, but he knew it would be impossible. So he would wait until she slept and he would slip from the bed with out her ever knowing. That was his plan anyway, but the longer he stayed, the harder it became to move away. Soon he did begin to relax. Turning on his side to face her, he watched her until sleep finally took him.

For once, it was Cameron that woke first. It took her only a moment to realize where she was and feel the weight on the bed beside her. As carefully as she could, she turned to look at the sleeping elf. He lay on his side, his layered white hair spread on the pillow he clutched. Cameron smiled softly, enjoying the peaceful look on the handsome elf. It was a chore for her to leave the bed, moving as slowly and quietly as she could so as not to disturb Fenris. Seeing that she hadn't disturbed his sleep, she quickly changed back into the robes she had worn to his mansion the night before, unconcerned about dressing in the same room as the sleeping man. Out of habit she tossed her worn sleeping shift onto the bed before quietly exiting the room and mansion.

Fenris had felt her move the moment she woke, but feigned sleep. He felt it would make the morning good byes easier if they weren't made at all. He had not expected her to change however, and he watched her through slitted eyes. The morning sun peeked through the curtains on the window and it took everything in him to hold his position as he drank in what he could. She tossed her sleeping shift back onto the bed, the worn cotton warm on his hand where it landed. She didn't look back as she left, quietly closing the door behind her. He listened for her steps to recede before finally sitting up in the bed, curling his hand in her discarded shift. She had said it was her last night here, but whether she realized or not, she had left him something to remember.

Cameron had slipped from Fenris's mansion and all but collided with her slinking pirate friend who was making an even stealthier escape from a Hightown mansion.

"Hawke! Fancy running into you here. Up to something naughty with our broody friend?" Isabela asked conspiratorially as she slipped an arm around Cameron's waist. Cameron snorted, but allowed Isabela to lead her away.

"As if that would _ever_ happen. Besides, what are you doing skulking around out here?"

"Never say never," Isabela purred, "As for my skulking, I was discreetly leaving the home of our honorable Seneschal. The man is a kinky bastard, but such a tiger once he gets going." Cameron blushed and then burst out laughing at her friend's description.

"I guess it takes one to know one," Cameron giggled, only to be hugged a little tighter to the dark woman.

"Oh I know alright. And I also know it is a complete waste for you to keep your legs so tightly pressed together. If you are too worried about 'hurting' our dear brooder, I can make a few suggestions. Anders for instance –" Cameron pulled herself free, a comical expression of embarrassment and anger plastered on her pretty face.

"Bela!" Cameron hissed, but Isabela only laughed.

"Please Hawke, the only person you're fooling is yourself. The way you flirt with _every_one just screams 'I want to get laid.' I know I wouldn't say no to you."

"Would you say no to anyone?" Cameron grumbled, this time hitting a nerve.

"I've said no to plenty," was Isabela's cold reply. Despite her own indignation, Cameron took her friend's hand.

"I'm sorry, Bela, I didn't mean it that way."

"Of course you did, but apology accepted," Isabela smiled, tugging Cameron towards the Hightown market district. "So long as you go shopping with me!" Cameron rolled her eyes and groaned; not more shopping.


	9. Chapter 8

Weeks had passed since Cameron and her mother moved back into the Amell estate, and Cameron was even busier than when she was scrounging for the fifty sovereigns for that fateful expedition. She had caught the eye of _both_ the Viscount and the Arishock and was sent on scavenging missions to keep peace between the Marchers and the Qunari. She had also caught the eye of a young prince who would not leave her side after she helped him.

She didn't mind Sebastian's help. He was an amazing archer, a looker and his accent was pleasant on the ears – when he wasn't preaching. She liked that the young man didn't judge her as an apostate even though he was a full brother in the chantry. She also enjoyed how quickly he and Fenris became friends. It was her heartfelt opinion the man needed more people he could, and would, trust.

Isabela had mixed feelings about the Choir Boy as she and Varric would call him. On one hand she so enjoyed toying with him, he blushed so very easily. On the other his constant preaching to her irritated her.

It had been another sermon that riled Isabela up when they made camp in a cave on the Wounded Coast. She had been given yet another miss lead on her relic hunt and Cameron brought Sebastian and Fenris as their back up. She took her time; waited and planned for just the right opportunity. She found it when the four sat around the fire after Cameron had warded the entrance to the small cave they camped in.

"So tell me Sebastian, Hawke helps you out and you start following her like a mabari pup?" she leaned toward him, being sure to push her breasts together in the most tantalizing manner she could muster. Sebastian refused to take her bait, and kept his blue eyes level with her golden ones.

"Hawke does good things for the people, and I see no reason not to help her do the Maker's work." Isabela grinned.

"She does do a _lot_ for the people of Kirkwall. So much so she doesn't have time for herself. Maybe _you_ could help her ease her 'burdens.'"

"Of course. I would do anything to help," A twinkle appeared in the pirate's eyes as he finally took her bait.

"You see, Hawke has this hole that she really needs filling. Do you think you could help her with that?" Cameron just happened to have been taking a sip from her wineskin at that moment and just about choked as the liquid slid into her lungs. Sebastian was equally shocked and his fair skin turned a matching shade to his auburn hair. Fenris said nothing, simply glared at the pirate.

"She keeps saying she's going to plant a rose bush there, you know to liven up the back garden, but she simply doesn't have the time," Isabela barely managed to finish her joke with a straight face. Cameron tossed her wineskin at the pirate, none too gently, but Isabela was too proud of her success to take offence. Sebastian remained red as he stammered his reply.

"I do happen to be handy in a garden, I'm sure I could be of help." His response simply sent Isabela into a fit of giggles, and it was Cameron who had to explain.

"I don't have a garden that needs tending," she growled, glaring at the giggling woman.

"Oh I beg to differ!" Isabela managed between fits of giggling. Cameron's cheeks were beginning to redden with the combination of embarrassment and anger her dark friend was so adapt at prompting.

"Just ignore her. She's going to be like this for a bit yet," Cameron muttered turning away from the infuriating woman. She caught Fenris's eye across the cave, the fire's light shining in his deep green eyes. The look he gave her sent a shiver down her spine that settled deep in her belly. Her anger completely forgotten with that one look that couldn't possibly mean what she hoped it meant.

"We should set a watch," Fenris's deep voice broke the tension that had built in the cave with Isabela's joking. With something productive and un-tempting to focus on, Sebastian was quick to agree.

"I could give you something to watch," Isabela purred, utterly undaunted by the glare she received from Fenris.

"Bela! Joke times over. Fenris has a point. I only put one ward on the entrance. Anyone with experience could break through it – and don't start," Cameron demanded as she realized her phrasing was prompting another fit of giggles from her friend.

"Is it always like this?" Sebastian asked hesitantly.

"Yes," Fenris answered coldly, rising from his seat. "I will take the first watch." Sebastian glanced at their other two companions and rose as well.

"Perhaps we should do two by two watches," he suggested, mostly to put some distance between himself and the two women. Fenris simply grunted and led the way to the cave's entrance.

Once the two men were out of sight, Cameron turned her attention to her other companion who was slowly regaining her composure.

"Was that really necessary?"

"Of course it was! He kept preaching at me all day to give me 'something to think about.' I was just returning the favor."

"So making cracks about me needing to be bedded was you giving him something to think about?" Isabela grinned.

"It worked too, judging by how red he got." Cameron sighed, rubbing her temple with her fingers.

"You aren't going to stop this until I finally bed someone, are you?"

"Which thing? The taunting Choir Boy or you?" Cameron closed her eyes, a headache quickly beginning to worm its way behind her eyes.

"Either?"

"Well once you're bedded, and properly I might add, I won't need to make those cracks. But Choir Boy's got it coming to him."

"It's not that simple, Bela. I just can't grab some random person. There are things I need to worry –"

"Yes, yes that whole 'exploding orgasm' thing. Personally I'd love to see what _that's_ like." Cameron glared at her.

"I thought you already experienced it with Anders?"

"Yeah, but that was Anders. I was talking about you. I mean if you're anything like…" Isabela stopped herself mid sentence, but Cameron knew what she was about to say. Neither woman spoke then, the mood shifted too hard to say any more. Knowing there was nothing else, the two women curled into their bedrolls to wait for their turn at watch.

"Sleep well, Hawke," Isabela finally whispered.

"You too."


	10. Chapter 9

After the incident in the cave on the Wounded Coast, Isabela gave Cameron some space and was hardly around in the weeks that followed. Cameron didn't mind the reprieve of the pirate's constant jabs towards her virginity, but she worried about her dark friend. Instead of letting that worry eat away at her, Cameron had begun the pleasant, in her mind, work of teaching Fenris to read. He was a quick study, and soon he was reading to her with few to no errors with the words.

Cameron knew that Sebastian had also been helping Fenris when the book he read to her last was a child's version of the Chant of Light. She had never really cared for the Chant when she was in Lothering. It was always drawn out and dull to her ears, but when Fenris read it to her she melted a little with each word spoken in his deep voice. Of course she felt that way with everything he read to her. She was mesmerized by his lips as they formed the words written on the pages. She had never realized just how full and tempting his mouth was. There had been many times in the hours they spent together that she would stop listening and start imagining how his lips might feel pressed to hers. It was a struggle to focus again on the actual task at hand, and she was often relieved and disappointed when the lessons were over.

Between her times with Fenris, she also helped Anders in his Darktown clinic. Two healers were better than one, and with the money she had earned taking odd jobs around the city she stocked his clinic with anything a healer would need. She and Anders didn't always see eye to eye on things, but her skills and love for helping had warmed him to her. It seemed to her sometimes that he was a little _too_ warm to her the way he would brush against her when he would walk past her despite there being plenty of room, or with the looks he gave her when he thought she wasn't looking.

She knew a lot of it was her own fault. She was a terrible flirt, as Isabela had pointed out to her before. She couldn't help teasing Anders and Sebastian, and she didn't even know _why_ she did it exactly. A part of her had the theory that if she flirted with everyone, it would make her flirting with Fenris seem less intrusive and less awkward. But she knew Fenris was a lost cause to her. She was a mage, and despite his growing ease around her, she knew he could never forget that.

Instead Cameron focused on her duties as a noblewoman in Hightown for her mother's sake in between her duties to the Viscount. She would accompany her mother to the latest party, only to be paraded before the eligible bachelors and be bored out of her mind. But it made her mother happy and she couldn't say no with all the pain she had caused Leandra.

It was at one of these parties, that one of the lordlings became overly familiar with Cameron; invading her personal space. It was a sheer act of will that she didn't light the man on fire when he dared to slid his hand down her ass. Instead she hissed a scathing remark about the size of his genitals and stormed from the manor leaving her mother with Bodahn who had been their escort for the evening.

The crisp autumn breeze managed to cool her temper as she walked through Hightown. She was not overly concerned about anyone trying to attack a lone woman on the streets as she had recently helped disband the Invisible Sisters who were trying to take over Hightown, but she never left her home without her staff – high born parties included.

She was wandering aimlessly along the streets when a familiar voice broke her from her reverie. She glanced up as Sebastian trotted up to her. She smiled at the handsome prince, glad for the chivalrous company after her less than enjoyable evening.

"Sebastian, what are you doing out so late? Don't you brothers have curfews?" she joked when he fell into step beside her.

"Only the lay brothers have curfews. Besides, I was working in Lowtown," he held up Isabela's coin purse, and Cameron cocked a brow.

"Let me guess, you didn't let her shuffle the deck?" Sebastian smiled.

"Of course not. I may be a Brother, but I'm not a fool."

"Yet you were gambling?" Sebastian shrugged.

"The money I make I put into the poor box. I don't profit from my winnings." Cameron smiled, but before she could respond three armed men stepped from the shadows before them. They wore the markings of Tevinter slavers, and Cameron's jaw set hard.

"I suppose these are not more friends of yours," Sebastian remarked, already bringing his bow to the ready. Cameron said nothing as she pulled her staff and swung at the slaver nearest her.

The battle was not quick as she relied on her martial skills. Flaunting magic in Kirkwall was dangerous, even more so if she was spotted and survived the fight before her. With Sebastian at her side, she didn't fear she would lose this match. They were down to one rogue who was near death when he disappeared in a smoke bomb. Cameron and Sebastian were not stupid enough to believe he had made his escape, but their vigilance was not enough as the man appeared behind Sebastian burying his blade into a weak spot on his royal armor. Sebastian cried out in pain, throwing an elbow into the rogue's face; sending him stumbling backwards right onto the bladed end of Cameron's staff.

With the battle over, Cameron pulled her staff free of the last man and rushed to Sebastian's side. He was gingerly pulling the curved blade from his side, knowing he was doing just as much damage pulling it free as it had done sliding in. Blood began to pool around his feet when the dagger was finally removed.

"Andraste's ass," Cameron muttered trying to get a look at the damage, but Sebastian's chest guard was in the way. "We need to get this off of you," Sebastian didn't fight her as she deftly unbuckled the armor; he was losing blood too quickly. With the armor gone, Cameron could see the extent of the wound and knew he would not survive the trip to Darktown and to Anders. Throwing caution to the wind, she cast her strongest healing spell.

No sooner had the spell been cast when something latched onto Cameron's back, burning through her robes to burrow along her spine. The sudden pain was nothing compared to the unexpected extinguishing of her mana flow, and she dropped to her knees. Fear gripped her features as her consciousness began to slip away. She was barely aware of Sebastian throwing her over his shoulder, telling her he would get her help.

Fenris had just finished bathing and was pulling on a pair of sleeping pants, when the door to the manor burst open his name being called out in the distinct borough of Sebastian. There was fear in his voice, and Fenris ran from the room, his sword already in hand. What he saw when he made it to the hallway stopped his heart. Sebastian carried Cameron over his shoulder; his shirt coated in fresh blood, but the artifact latched to Cameron's back was what concerned him most. He knew all to well what the aurum and lyrium creature was. Fury boiled his blood, but he managed to keep his voice cold as he directed Sebastian upstairs.

Cameron was completely unconscious when Sebastian lowered her from his shoulder. He held her up as Fenris demanded, keeping his hands clear of the thing latched to her back. Fenris knelt behind Cameron, ripping a strip from the skirt of her robe. Sebastian looked on in confusion as Fenris used the strip to fashion a gag around Cameron's mouth.

"Fenris…?" Sebastian began to ask.

"It is a Tevinter collar. The magisters use them on their mage slaves – to keep them in line. There is only one way to remove it if we don't have its key." Fenris then stared hard at Sebastian, "You might wish to leave. This won't be easy." Sebastian shook his head.

"No, this was my fault and I will help if I can." Fenris simply raised a brow before nodding. He gripped the sides of Cameron's robe at the shoulders and ripped them down, effectively using the robe to bind her arms in place. The suddenness of the act brought a startled gasp from Sebastian and a redness to his cheeks as Cameron now teetered half naked between the two men.

"Hold her tight. Make sure she doesn't move," Fenris gave Sebastian the cold order and it was only a second before he pulled her against himself, gripping her shoulders tightly. Fenris swallowed hard before placing a bare hand on her back next to the creature, pushing her tighter against Sebastian. Fenris had forgotten her previous reaction to his bare touch in his concern until she reacted. Her hips jerked between the two men, and the gag barely hid her moan. Fenris was not the only one affected by her reaction, but both men tried their damndest to ignore her purrs and thrusts against them.

Fenris's free hand ghosted into Cameron's back, his mind focusing on what needed to be done. He felt for the artifact creature's head, already burrowed between two vertebrae. He took one calming breath before solidifying around the creature's head, pulling it free and crushing it in his fist. With the creature's control over her mind gone, Cameron snapped awake. The pain of it being pulled free tore an agonized scream from her throat, the gag around her mouth doing nothing to diminish the sound. Sebastian began to loosen his grip on her, until Fenris hissed at him. With the head gone, the twelve legs gripped tighter around her spine. As quickly and as carefully as he could, Fenris pulled each segment free and with each segment free, another scream would rip through the room.

This particular creature was Danarius's design, meant to keep the mage aware as it was pulled free; insuring the mage felt every bit of agony. He never bothered to use the key on his collared mages when they out grew their old collars. He simply sat back and watched as Fenris removed the creature.

With the final segment free, Fenris stepped back letting Cameron fall limp into Sebastian's arms. She was choking on tears, her mind scrambled from the pain she was forced to endure. Sebastian pulled her gag free and whispered softly to her as he wiped at the tears on her face. Fenris escaped the room, throwing the now useless collar away. Cameron needed healing and needed to be cleaned of the blood he had spilt freeing her of it.

He took his time gathering the things he needed. He needed to temper his fury. Someone, most likely Danarius, had laid a trap for Cameron. There was no doubt in Fenris's mind that they were trying to capture his strongest ally, to weaken him for the next round of hunts. It was entirely too close, and if it hadn't been for Sebastian and her restraint with magic, they would have had her. That thought, more than anything else ignited his rage.

When he returned to the study, Sebastian was still trying to comfort the blood soaked mage. He had helped her to the floor, unable to stand himself with the torture he had witnessed. Sebastian had seemed more concerned with calming Cameron and himself than freeing her arms, and she was in no state to even notice. It was Fenris that freed her, pulling her arms free of the ruined robe. He wasn't thinking again as his bare hands touched her skin, but her reaction was different this time.

Instead of a surge of sexual pleasure, Cameron felt a wave of comfort. Memories flashed through her mind; her father kissing a scraped knee better, her mother feeding her freshly baked cookies, playing with Bethany and Carver. She sighed softly, her head dropping against Sebastian's chest as she drifted away on this new wave.

Fenris finished cleaning her back, his own anxiety easing with Cameron's. Sebastian held her while Fenris bandaged the holes along her spine. They would take her to Anders as soon as he was finished. The last thing he did before readying himself for the trip into Darktown was to dress her in the old shift she had left so long ago.


	11. Chapter 10

Sebastian left his chest guard on the floor of Fenris's mansion when they finally left into the night. Cameron managed to heal his wound most of the way before the collar latched onto her, but his side still pained him and the added weight of the armor would only slow them down. Fenris carried the still unconscious mage as they made their way through the streets of Hightown to the Amell estate. They planned on taking the path through the Amell's wine cellar to reach Anders to avoid as much time in the open as possible.

Sandal opened the door just as they reached it. He looked up at the two men smiling. "Nice lady need to go to basement?" he asked them, stepping out of the way. Sebastian was still awed by the strange young dwarf and nodded. Fenris barely gave the boy a second look before hurrying past.

The clinic was luckily just outside the Amell bolt hole, and they had no more problems bringing Cameron to the Warden Mage. Sebastian popped the lock on the clinic's door to prevent Fenris from simply kicking it in. It was Sebastian that called out for Anders, and it was only a moment before the room lit up and Anders stepped into view from behind a storage shelf. It took Anders less than a second to assess the situation, and he barked out orders to place Cameron on a small cot. He pushed Fenris out of the way as he leaned in to examine her, taking note of the ruined robe and thread worn shift that had been hastily put on. He quelled the surge of jealousy that these two men had seen more of Cameron than he was ever likely to see.

"What happened?" he finally asked seeing as there was no immediate danger to her. Fenris glared at the abomination, and before any more animosity could boil up Sebastian stepped in to explain.

"Hawke and I were attacked by some slavers in Hightown. The last one got his dagger in me pretty good, but Hawke started to heal me right before she was, um," he looked to Fenris, unsure of exactly _what_ had happened to her.

"Collared." Fenris spat out the answer. He was barely concealing his anger, but neither Sebastian nor Anders knew who that anger was directed at.

"What does that mean?" Anders turned his eye to Fenris, needing more information than simply 'collared.' Fenris took a breath to calm his voice before answering.

"The magisters don't just make slaves of elves and humans. They also make use of less powerful mages. To insure these mages don't try to 'better' themselves, the magisters use artifacts to cut off the mages' magic unless it is called for. They call it collaring, a trick they picked up from the Qunari." Anders's eyes began to glow blue as Justice started to slip free from his control.

"**And this has been done to this mage?**" Sebastian gasped, taking a step back. He had heard what Anders was, but had never seen it first hand. Fenris stood his ground, glaring at the abomination.

"Yes. But it has been removed. She will recover." The light faded from Anders's eyes, and he shook his head. He turned back to the cot with Cameron.

"You're sure she'll be fine?" his voice was filled with worry, memories of seeing his friends being made Tranquil resurfacing as he stared down at her prone form.

"Provided you heal her blood loss and the holes in her spine," Fenris did not pull his punches around the healer, and his questions were simply delaying Cameron's healing. Anders glared at Fenris, but turned his attention back to Cameron.

Used to working alone, Anders didn't ask for help as he lifted Cameron into a seated position and pulled the shift up to reveal the bandaged wounds on her back. He needed to see exactly what he was dealing with, and began to pull at the hastily done bandages. A blue film had covered the holes on her spine, and Justice's voice was for his ears only.

"_**Lyrium!"**_

"I can see that," Anders muttered out loud.

"_**It is singing in her, like in the elf."**_

"That's not possible, isn't it?" Fenris and Sebastian exchanged glances as they listened to the one sided conversation.

"_**Let me touch her." **_Anders laid her back down on the cot, backing away from her.

"Absolutely not!"

"_**Please!"**_

"No!" Anders all but yelled, casting a simple healing spell to distract both himself and Justice. As the magic touched her, Cameron's body violently arched like a bow. A startled gasp was the only sound she made as her eyes flew open and the world appeared shrouded by a blue mist. At her reaction, Anders stopped his spell and he and Fenris rushed to her side. Sebastian stayed in his corner, softly praying for his friend.

The spell was still working inside Cameron, she could feel the holes along her spine knitting together, but didn't understand the tingling on the side of her face and neck.

"Maker's breath!" Anders breathlessly exclaimed as he stared at her, Fenris's face was an emotionless mask, but his eyes burned with an unknown fury. Cameron looked back and forth between the two men, getting scared by their strange reactions and how the room still seemed to shimmer in a blue glow.

"What's going on? Did my nose fall off?" Cameron tried to ease her growing nerves with a bit of humor, but it didn't help; neither Anders nor Fenris spoke. It was finally Sebastian who broke the silence as he stepped from the shadows of his corner.

"There are…markings," he told her gently. Cameron's hand shot up to her neck where she still felt the tingling. Beneath her fingers she could feel the traces of raised lines, so similar to the ones she had felt on Fenris's hand. Her eyes widened as she met his eyes, but as the healing spell faded from her body, the shimmer and the lines receded away. Fenris let out a soft breath, and dropped his gaze. He stood, turning away from her and she watched his back before turning to Anders.

"They're gone now," Anders told her, but in his mind, "_**Liar! She still sings so beautifully!"**_ Cameron smiled up at him.

"Well, I guess that's something," she turned her attention to the third man in the room, "Sebastian, thank you. For earlier, I mean." The prince smiled sadly at her.

"I owe you the same," he told her softly touching the blood stained shirt he wore. Concern filled her eyes as she remembered the events that led to her waking in the clinic.

"So it went off? Before I was hit?" she asked him, forcing herself to stand up through the wave of nausea that hit her with the change of position. Sebastian nodded.

"Mostly, I am alive after all."

"Mostly?"

"It still pains me, but I believe the worst of it was taken care of." Cameron frowned and before even thinking about it, she cast her own spell to finish his healing. Fenris jerked in response at the unexpected spell, and the unexpected power behind it. Even Anders fell back slightly from her, Justice slipping past his defenses.

Once again the room shimmered with a blue glow and she felt the soft shivers in her cheek and neck, but the spell went off with no problems. In fact, the spell seemed stronger than she had intended it to be. She blinked rapidly as the blue in her vision and the tingles in her skin faded with her spell.

"Well, _that_ wasn't expected," was all she said as she looked at the three astonished men in the room.


	12. Chapter 11

It had been a week since the night Cameron had been collared, and in that time she had been attacked two more times. Each time however, the artifact creature could not get a grip on her despite her use of magic. Anytime the creature was launched at her, a force would throw the thing back; often breaking it. No one was sure why it happened, but Cameron for one was grateful. She still had nightmares about the evening Fenris ripped the creature free of her, the feeling of her mana flow being extinguished was something she never wanted to experience again.

She also found that the more she used magic, the more the lyrium brands would show. Soon they no longer receded when the magic faded, but remained etched on her left cheek, lips, and neck in a broken vine pattern. The lyrium on her lips didn't bother her terribly much, as she could simply cover the distinct color with a dark lip stain. The rest was another matter entirely, one that Isabela was quick to help her solve.

The grounded pirate commissioned a robe for her friend made of black satin and chainmail. A matching scarf would tie about her throat, covering the markings there, but Cameron failed to understand how the very low cut bodice would hide the markings on her face. That was until she stepped into the Hanged Man wearing her new robe and every man in the room could not seem to raise his eyes from the mountain of cleavage the robe created. It took Cameron a while to get used to being stared at, but as Isabela had informed her, she'd grow to enjoy the attention.

Cameron didn't so much grow to enjoy the attention as she had grown accustomed to it. It was easier to be seen as little more than "tits and ass" as Isabela once said, than to be seen as something strange and daunting like the way people stared at Fenris. She found a new appreciation for the former slave's strength and only wished she could find someway to show him.

Anders began acting even stranger around her since that incident, and she was unsure why. He stopped asking for her help in the clinic, but wouldn't turn her away if she came. He also kept his distance from her, seeming to purposefully avoid contact with her. She knew they often bickered about how the mages were treated in Thedas, but she couldn't remember a single argument that was so bad he would avoid her.

It was finally one evening as they were cleaning up after a harrowing day in the clinic, that she had had enough of his silent treatment. He had his back to her when she closed the door, and she watched him relax as he believed she had left.

"Anders." Her voice was hard and his posture stiffened again as he turned towards her.

"I thought you left."

"Obviously, the way you just relaxed. What did I do, Anders? Why are you suddenly so cold to me?" she stepped closer to him, and he backed away. She clenched her jaw, continuing to stride towards him and backing him into a corner.

"Nothing! Nothing, you didn't do anything!" he stammered. "_**Let me touch her,**_" Justice begged him. Anders shook his head, this was what he had hoped to avoid. Justice was in his head everyday she was there begging him to touch her, and everyday she was there in her new robe robed him of his resistance. He wanted to touch her just as much, and had a thought that his desire was building up in Justice as well.

"If I didn't do anything than why are you so cold to me now?" she was too close to him, he could smell the soft perfume she favored, feel her breath on his neck as she looked up at him. He clenched his fists at his sides, willing himself to ignore her presence.

"I'm not. I haven't been –" he tried, but her glare stopped him in his lies. He looked down into her face, his eyes traveling across the lyrium brand on her cheek, down to her stained lips. "I can't offer you anything," he whispered to her. Her dark brows furrowed in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"_**Touch her!**_" Anders lost his battle against Justice. He pulled her closer, crushing his lips to hers. Cameron gasped in shock, and he slid his tongue into her mouth. "_**Yes, so sweet. She sings so sweet.**_"

Cameron's head was spinning, her eyes closing. This was definitely not what she was expecting when she cornered Anders in the clinic. His kiss was hungry, but not unpleasant. She started to fall into his kiss; to kiss him back, until she felt a strange tugging at her lyrium brands. Her eyes burst open and she was nearly blinded by the fade glow surrounding Anders. Frightened, she pushed him away roughly. Justice stared at her for only a second before Anders pushed him back. Cameron was at a loss, and did the only thing she could think of. She slapped him hard across the face.

"I dissevered that," Anders said softly, keeping his head turned away from her. Cameron was panting, glaring at the other mage.

"Who was it?" she finally asked him. Anders turned haunted eyes to her, confused.

"Who was what?"

"Who kissed me? You? Or Justice?" Anders covered his face with his hands, leaning back against the wall she had backed him up against. It took a full minute before he would answer her.

"I'm not sure. Both I think," he said honestly. "You've been plaguing my dreams every night. I can't think of anything else. And now Justice urges me on too."

"Why? I thought he disliked me?" Anders wouldn't look at her.

"I don't know," he lied. Cameron didn't press further. She was getting uncomfortable with the thought that a fade spirit, other than her own, was taking more of an interest in her. She said nothing more to Anders, simply left him leaning against the back wall and escaped the clinic and Darktown through her basement entrance.

It was late in the evening when she made her way upstairs and no one except Bean was there to greet her. She was thankful for the reprieve, but at the same time jittery. She couldn't get Anders's kiss from her mind; it figured her first real kiss was with an abomination. It had been nice up until the point Justice had pushed himself through. She shuddered at the memory. She decided she didn't want to think about it anymore, and with a bottle of Antivan brandy in her hand, she made her way to her own private bathing room to drink and wash the memory away.


	13. Chapter 12

Fenris entered the Hanged Man after receiving a cryptic message from one of Varric's page boys. What greeted him was a shock. Cameron and Isabela were on one of the tables, surrounded by the male patrons. Isabela was hugging Cameron close, her hands on Cameron's leather clad hips rocking the mage in an exotic dance.

Fenris couldn't move from his spot, his eyes captured by the scene before him. Cameron was dressed only in the bodice of her robe and the leather pants that hugged her hips like a second skin. He was mesmerized by the flexing of muscles in her abdomen as Isabela twisted her this way and that.

Varric finally saw Fenris in a near empty section of the bar and hurried over to him.

"It's about time you showed up!" the dwarf's voice broke the spell on Fenris and he turned confused eyes on his friend.

"What -?" he started before Varric pulled him through the throng of drunken men.

"Hawke came in drunk looking for Rivani, and the next thing I knew, they had polished off two bottles of whiskey and started doing that." Varric pointed at the 'dancing' women on the table. "Apparently Hawke had the notion she needed to learn how to dance."

Fenris managed to keep his tone even as he watched the dark pirate slide her hands up Cameron's smooth waist and along the side of her leather bodice. "Why did you demand I come here?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Varric asked him, mildly exasperated. Fenris glared at the dwarf, shaking his head. "Look, it was either you or Choir Boy, and quite frankly I think you could wrestle Hawke away from Rivani a lot easier. I need this shut down, Elf. I'm so close to closing the deal on this place, I don't want it to be trashed because two scantily clad women decided to start table dancing." Fenris then took note of the excitement in the crowd. Already a few chairs and tables had been broken as the patrons clambered to get a better view. He also did not like how familiar Isabela was being with Cameron, or how the mage seemed to be enjoying it. He could feel a familiar thrumming in his markings that only occurred when Cameron used magic.

He told himself it was to avoid the inevitable calling of the templars on Cameron, and not the twisting knot of jealousy in his stomach that moved him to grabbing the gyrating mage away from the pirate. Cameron squealed as she tumbled from the table into Fenris's arms, and Isabela pouted as her dance partner was so rudely taken from her. Cameron looked up into the face of her abductor and seeing Fenris looking back down at her, she smiled.

"Fenris!" she said breathlessly, "I was just thinking about you," Fenris ignored his body's reaction to her words as he bodily forced their way through the throng of inebriated men. Cameron rested her head on his shoulder as he carried her from the Hanged Man, twirling her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. His markings were tingling harder now as he carried her, but he had no clue as to what spell she was casting. He was almost to Hightown, when her fingers brushed against his lips. The feather light touch tickled his lips and he pulled his head away slightly, looking down into dilated blue eyes.

"Your lips are so soft," she murmured, caressing his cheek and jaw. He had no vocal response to her gentle words and tender touch. "I always wondered –" but her musing was cut off as she moaned loudly, quivering in his arms. Her fingers brushed against the lyrium along his neck, and a small burst of magic erupted from her. Fenris barely managed to keep his hold on her as pleasure washed over him. He fell back against the wall of a Hightown estate, his labored breathing matching Cameron's.

It took a moment for his head to clear and realize he had made it to her home when the door opened. Sandal stood in the doorway, looking up at Fenris and Cameron.

"Enchantment?" he asked quietly. Fenris growled at the young dwarf and pushed past him. The sooner he was free of the shuddering mage in his arms the happier he would be he told himself.

He took her to the empty bedroom that her mabari slept in front of. Bean heard them and made a quick bark before moving away from the door. Fenris barely gave the dog a thought as he gently kicked the door open.

The fire was slowly dying, but it was enough light for Fenris to make his way to the large four poster bed in the center of the room. Cameron was still lost somewhere in her own thoughts, nuzzling at Fenris's neck; inhaling his spiced scent and feeling the tremors of pleasure each time her nose brushed his lyrium markings.

Fenris laid her down on the bed, but she would not release her grip on him. Gently he pulled her hands free of his hair and arm. She whimpered mournfully when he pulled away from her and she tried to grab at him again, but the alcohol she had consumed left her weak and disoriented. Instead of grabbing him, she fell forward onto the bed and into the pillows.

"Fenris," her plea was made into the pillows, and Fenris had to escape before he succumbed to her begging. He practically ran from her estate and through Hightown; finally relaxing once he was safe inside his own manor. He had no idea what had happened, but he couldn't shake the feeling of longing that seemed to be mirrored in Cameron.


	14. Chapter 13

Cameron woke with a splitting head ache and her stomach doing somersaults. She found herself half dressed in bed, and wondered exactly how she had gotten there. She remembered the kiss with Anders; remembered drinking a bottle of brandy in the tub. She barely remembered making it to the Hanged Man and running into Isabela. From that point on her mind was even fuzzier on the details.

She stumbled from her bedroom and leaned heavily on the banister as she made her way into the kitchens. She needed something to ease her headache and the turmoil in her belly. She did not expect to see Isabela sitting at the table nursing a mug of something. When the pirate saw Cameron enter, she grinned wickedly and pushed another mug towards her.

"After last night, I'm betting you're going to need this. It's an old Rivani recipe for hangovers. Just, don't ask what's in it," the pirate winked at Cameron, who slumped into the chair opposite her and picked up the steaming mug. Giving the contents a tentative sniff and finding nothing overtly offensive, Cameron sipped the hot liquid. She was surprised at how quickly it began to ease her nausea.

"And just what _did_ happen last night?" Cameron asked, fearing she wouldn't get the whole truth from her friend. Isabela smirked.

"Before or after Fenris's daring rescue from my sensual clutches?" Cameron coughed on the hot liquid as Isabela's words brought images up through her drink induced haze. Her pale face turned a stunning shade of red as she turned wide eyes to her friend.

"Oh, Maker help me! It wasn't a dream?" she asked, knowing full well that Isabela would have no idea what she was referring to.

"No, and quite frankly I was rather disappointed. Despite your normal graceless self, you _dance_ marvelously," Isabela remarked in a husky tone. There was no possible way Cameron could get redder, but her face felt hotter just the same. Snippets of that dance were coming back to her. The feel of the pirate's experienced hands caressing her skin had been just as intoxicating as the whiskey. It hadn't helped that she was imagining those hands being Fenris's. And then he was there, holding her in his arms.

Cameron's head hit the table and she groaned out loud, curling her fingers into her hair. She didn't want to think about how much of a fool she had been, just to try and forget that sudden kiss from Anders. Isabela cooed at her, stroking her head.

"There, there Sweet thing, it will be all right. Just walk down to the clinic and Anders will get you all healed up." Cameron shot up right, startling Isabela.

"No! Maker, _he_ was the reason I got so drunk last night!" Isabela grinned, sitting back down across from Cameron.

"Oh this I _have_ to hear." Cameron sighed, it was too late to take back her words; Isabela would never let it go. Resigned, Cameron explained what had happened the night before. Isabela listened with a cocked brow and crooked smile. "So now you've got yet another courter for your attentions," she laughed at Cameron's glare. "Oh come on! Like you haven't noticed the looks you've been getting from all most all of our motley crew?"

"What are you going on about?" Isabela just sighed, shaking her head.

"Merrill stares at you like you are some piece of that weird mirror thing, Sebastian can't walk behind you without muttering that damn Chant of his, Anders – well, you figured _that_ one out, and then there's Fenris…" Isabela trailed off, locking eyes with Cameron.

"What about Fenris?" she tried to sound non-chalant, but knew she failed miserably at the knowing smirk that slid into place on Isabela's full lips.

"Well, the way he glared at me when he pulled you off the table I was sure if you weren't in his arms, my innards would be." Cameron sighed miserably.

"Even if that were true, what chance do I have now after –" she bit her lip, most certainly not ready to have _that_ conversation with her friend. Isabela cocked a brow, but the look Cameron gave her said she wasn't going to get anything more.

"You're no fun," the pirate pouted playfully. Cameron smirked.

"I'm betting half of Lowtown is going to disagree with you on that one." Isabela laughed.

"You've got me there, Hawke."


	15. Chapter 14

Sebastian hesitantly made his way through Hightown towards the Amell estate. All morning during his rounds in the confessional, he had been hearing of Cameron and Isabela's table dancing in varying degrees of detail. Each story would bring back memories of her half naked moaning and thrusting against him. It had only been a week since that night and his dreams were plagued with those memories. He was honestly not sure which dream was worse for him, her pleasure or her torture.

"Ah, Prince Vael, do come in," Bodahn answered the door, and Sebastian smiled down at the older dwarf.

"Please, just call me Sebastian." Bodahn nodded, but Sebastian knew that he would still address him as Prince.

"I will let Serah Hawke know you've arrived," Sebastian watched the dwarf walk off toward the kitchen and dining rooms. It took him by surprise when it was Isabela who followed Bodahn from the back rooms. The dark pirate winked at Sebastian before sauntering from the estate. "Serah Hawke is waiting for you in the kitchens, your highness," Bodahn directed Sebastian to the door he and Isabela had just exited. Sebastian smiled his thanks before leaving the room.

Cameron was half lying, half sitting at the table gingerly drinking from a steaming mug. Sebastian tried very hard to ignore the fact that she was half dressed, and how enticing the curve of her bare back to her leather clad derriere was. Instead he focused on the dark circles beneath her closed eyes and the wrinkle between her thin sable brows.

"Feeling ill this afternoon?" He asked, taking the recently vacated seat across from her. She opened one eye, snorting at his obvious attempt at small talk. Pushing herself all the way up, she took one last long drink from her mug before setting it to the side.

"What brings you around Sebastian?" she asked him, easily putting her mask of optimism on to cover the pain of her hangover. Sebastian shook his head slightly, smiling at the forgetful mage.

"You asked if I would go with you this afternoon to check on the workers at the Bone Pit. Merrill and Fenris are to meet us at the gates." Cameron groaned, curling in on herself. Sebastian couldn't stop his gaze from dropping to the mounds of cleavage her chin now rested on.

"The Maker has a real sense of humor," she muttered into her breasts. "Sebastian, can I ask you a weird question?" Her head came up so fast to look at him, he was sure she caught him staring. His cheeks flared pink, but he managed to keep his voice calm.

"Of course." She bit her lip, looking at him as she tried to word the question in her head before speaking out loud.

"I'm honestly not sure how to go about asking this. I'd ask Bela, but then she'd tell Varric and then the whole of Kirkwall would get some strange conglomeration of truth and tale and I just can't deal with it right now. And you're a Brother, and you've had some, uh, experience, in this matter. And you're a man, so you'd know better…" she was rambling, and it seemed to Sebastian she would ramble herself away from the question she wanted to ask. He laid a hand on her elbow, getting her attention.

"Hawke, I will be able to help you, if you actually _tell_ me what's bothering you." She seemed to deflate, looking up at him with wide worried eyes.

"I, um, I did something last night that I've never done before; at least not with someone else. And now I'm not sure what to do." She finally managed to get out.

"What did you do?" Sebastian asked, confused but patient. She couldn't keep eye contact with him, and it was strange to see her so vulnerable.

"Um, I think, I sort of, um, had an orgasm," she whispered the last bit as if she was saying something bad. Sebastian managed to keep his expression and voice calm, despite his mind replaying a few of his ever present dreams.

"With Isabela?" He asked when she didn't continue. That got a rise out of her, and she glared at him.

"She was just here this morning trying to help me, not –" Sebastian cut her off with a raised hand of surrender.

"I simply asked because of what had occurred last night. I was just trying to get more information to help, not to accuse," he said gently. She slumped back down, her chin in her hand and elbow on the table.

"That already made its rounds? Maker but it's hard to make a fool of yourself and keep it quiet," she sighed again. "Luckily no, it was not at the Hanged Man." She went silent again, but this time Sebastian waited for her to continue. "It's not like any thing actually _happened_. He was just helping me home – carrying me, to be more specific." Pieces were beginning to fall into place for Sebastian. Cameron had a limited recollection of what happened the night she was collared. She only remembered the fight and the pain and waking up in Ander's clinic.

"Fenris?" Sebastian finally asked. This time she simply nodded. "And this is bothering you because?" Cameron slammed her hand on the table, rising and pacing the kitchen. Sebastian started with her sudden action, but remained seated watching her.

"Because it was…" she stopped her pacing, dropping her head. "How am I supposed to look at him after making such a fool of myself?" she asked quietly. Sebastian finally rose and moved over to her. He placed a calming hand on her shoulder.

"What do you think was your foolish action? What happened in the Hanged Man, or what happened with Fenris?" she rested her cheek on his hand.

"I bet you wouldn't believe me if I said both," Sebastian chuckled, squeezing her shoulder.

"No, I don't believe I would. But you shouldn't worry about what happened with Fenris. He may not have even noticed –" Cameron snorted, turning towards Sebastian.

"Oh, he noticed alright," she remarked bitterly. Sebastian cocked his head, brows furrowing in confusion and curiosity. "I learned at a young age that I was special, that the Maker gifted me with magic. It wasn't until I was fourteen that I learned that my magic isn't always containable. It was also the single most awkward conversation I ever had with my father," She laughed as she saw the realization dawn on him. Sebastian shook his head, smiling.

"Well, that is a rather unique ability I'd have to say. But I will tell you this, not as a Brother in the Chantry, but as a man," He grasped her shoulders, turning her to face him. "There is not a man in all of Thedas who would _not_ want a beautiful woman to find such pleasure in their arms." Cameron smiled up at him, and then fell against him in a hug.

"Thank you, Sebastian. I'm not convinced, but it feels better to have someone to talk to," she pulled away from the friendly embrace. "Now I should probably finish getting dressed so we can head out. We can't exactly leave Merrill and Fenris alone for any extended amount of time." She left Sebastian alone in the kitchen, running upstairs to put on the rest of her robe. With her gone, Sebastian slumped against the table running a hand through his hair.

"Maker help me, I did not need more fuel for this fire," he muttered to himself, staring at the door she had run through.


	16. Chapter 15

Bodahn had prepared a pack for their trip to the Bone Pit, just in case they would be making an overnight of it. Cameron had thanked the dwarf for his thoughtfulness and would hear nothing of Sebastian carrying the pack for her. She still had the dark circles under her eyes, but she seemed bright and energetic. Sebastian was in awe of her stamina, or her acting ability, he honestly was not sure with her. Her easy posture didn't falter until they closed the distance towards the city gates and heard the conversation between the two elves.

"Slam your fingers in a door?" Merrill's cheerful voice rose up to them.

"No." Fenris's growled reply. Cameron stopped walking, and it was only with a gentle push from Sebastian that she continued on.

"Smack your head on a low beam?"

"Is there a point to this line of questioning?"

"Just wondering why you're so cross all the time."

"Perhaps it's the inane prodding." Fenris had his back to a wall, his attention directed at the Dalish elf in front of the open gates. It was Merrill that spotted Sebastian and Cameron first. She waved at them, putting the conversation with Fenris out of her mind.

"Oh, Hawke, are you alright? You look ill," Merrill asked as Cameron and Sebastian got closer. Concern turned Fenris's head to look at Cameron, but she kept her attention focused on Merrill.

"A very late night, is all," Cameron answered, smiling at the young elven woman. "There is no need to worry; Bela gave me a little pick-me-up this morning."

"You were on the floor?" Merrill asked a bit confused. Cameron laughed.

"Just about," she hooked her arm through Merrill's and turned her towards the gates. It was only then that she dared glance at Fenris. Her heart skipped when she saw him watching her, his green eyes smoldering. His expression was controlled, and he only looked away when Sebastian greeted him.

"Shall we?" Sebastian asked, and the only thing Cameron could do was nod; distracted by memories of last night. Merrill tugged on Cameron's arm, still hooked around her own and the two women led the way out of Kirkwall. Sebastian halted Fenris, letting the women get farther ahead of them.

"A moment Fenris? I would like to speak with you." Fenris turned his head towards the other man. "I had heard some of what occurred last night with Hawke," Sebastian took note of the pinkening of Fenris's ears, the only hint of what he might be thinking.

"What of it?" Fenris all but growled. Sebastian smiled, picking up on the elf's feelings – whether or not Fenris realized them himself.

"I wanted to thank you for taking care of her. There are many out there that would take advantage of a lovely young woman's intoxication," Sebastian continued, he wasn't about to relate his conversation with Cameron. He did however take note of the flush that spread to the elf's cheeks.

"Yes, well," Fenris couldn't think of a response beyond that, his mind too busy replaying the events of the last evening.

"You're a good man, Fenris. Hawke is lucky to have you by her side." Sebastian wanted to mean his words completely, but an inkling of jealousy nagged at him. He refused to acknowledge it and clapped Fenris on the back. "And I am happy to call you friend."

"Thank you," Fenris finally said after a pause. This fellowship was still new to him, despite the years with Cameron and the others. He was still getting used to the feeling of friendship and that someone had his back no matter what.

Then there were the events of last night and he could no longer deny that the strange mage that had inserted herself into his every thought, felt something more than friendship for him. It hadn't helped seeing her again so soon after his realization, but he wasn't going to hide from her because he was frightened. He refused to run from anything anymore, including these strange feelings he was having. He was strangely relieved to see that she seemed to be suffering a similar state of mind.

It took most of the rest of the day to reach the Bone Pit, and Cameron's head was thankful the workers' only complaint was a foul smell in the tunnels. There had been no cave-ins, no dragons and no bandits to interrupt their work. The foreman Jansen thanked Cameron again for her vigilance with their safety. She had simply smiled, telling him it was what she did.

With nothing more to do at the mine, the group left. Cameron's acting was wearing her down; her head was throbbing so badly she was having trouble seeing straight. It took her by surprise when Fenris put a hand on her shoulder, stopping her.

"You are not feeling well. We should stop," He told her. Cameron swallowed, trying to slow her racing heart at his touch. Suddenly, her head wasn't bothering her anymore.

"Yes, perhaps we should make use of Bodahn's thoughtfulness, Hawke. It will be dark soon enough," Sebastian added. Cameron didn't know if Merrill was going to agree as she seemed to have become distracted by a pair of squirrels fighting over a nut.

"We should be careful. Isabela says they are vicious," Merrill then looked back to the rest of the group that just stared at her. "Were we talking about something?" Cameron couldn't help herself and just started laughing. Merrill watched her, wide eyed. "Now I know I missed something."

"We were saying we should set up camp," It was Sebastian that answered her, Cameron was now bent over laughing and it took everything in him to keep his eyes away from the bouncing mounds of cleavage her robe displayed. Fenris still had his hand on her shoulder, and was now using it to keep her from falling to the ground.

"But that's not funny," Merrill replied, only to ignite a new wave of laughter from Cameron. Merrill looked to Sebastian for answers, getting close to tears, she was so confused.

"I don't believe that's why Hawke is laughing, Merrill. She hasn't shared the joke with the rest of us," Sebastian replied, and Merrill sighed in relief.

"Oh good. I get so tired of being the only one left out."


	17. Chapter 16

They had set camp once Cameron finally calmed down. She never did explain the joke that had her in tears, but it was soon forgotten when the group saw what Bodahn had packed for their overnight. Dried meats, fine cheeses and breads were carefully packed away and enough for at least eight people. However, there was only one tent and two bedrolls. Apparently Bodahn had packed as if he were packing for himself and Sandal.

"Well, I guess we get to get cozy tonight," Cameron joked, but her voice had a small tremor that only Fenris and Sebastian noticed; Merrill was too busy nibbling on a piece of cheese.

"There's plenty of room for everyone," Merrill chipped in. "When we travel in the Aravels, the insides are much tinier." Then Merrill looked up and glanced back and forth between Cameron and Sebastian. "But elves are smaller than humans, so you're probably right. Of course you're right, you're Hawke. I'm rambling again. I'll stop," Merrill dropped her head to hide her blush and nibbled on her cheese some more. Cameron laughed.

"Merrill, are you calling me fat?" Merrill's head shot up, her expression a combination of horror and embarrassment.

"No! No, of course not! I –"

"It was a joke!" Cameron cut her off, giggling. "We'll just have to do two by two watches tonight. Not a big deal."

"No," it was Fenris that spoke up, surprising everyone. "You have been ill all day. You should sleep with no interruption. It is not wise for you to lead us when you can barely walk straight." Cameron bristled at that, but it was Sebastian's soft voice that held back her retort.

"He's right, Hawke. Let us handle the watches." He laid a gentle hand on her shoulder and she sighed, nodding.

"You're right. I shouldn't let my pride get in the way. But I'm going to eat first. And Merrill, stop hogging the cheese! That's my favorite kind." Merrill looked up, blinking guiltily and put down her fourth piece of cheese. Cameron laughed swooping down to pick up the discarded piece.

Part way through dinner, Merrill and Sebastian began a friendly debate on religion. Cameron slunk away from the fire to keep their attention on each other so they couldn't drag her into the middle of it. She was more than a little surprised that she was not alone in her particular shadow. Gauntleted hands wrapped around her arms from behind, but the familiar presence stilled her alarm.

"Fenris," she whispered softly, "Fancy meeting you here."

"This is not the tent," was his curt reply.

"Oh? Did we have a date in the tent and I forgot?" she tried to sound jovial, but her breathless voice betrayed her. Fenris's grip on her arms tightened ever so slightly before he released her with a growl. Cameron mentally slapped herself, and taking a deep breath she turned to face him. Her apology was lost in her throat when she looked up into his dark green eyes.

"You are a frustrating woman, Hawke." Cameron's hope was dashed, and she dropped her eyes.

"I get that a lot." She laughed deprecatingly. Fenris shook his head, though she didn't see it.

"That was not what I meant." She glanced up at him, that fleeting hope returning.

"What did you mean?" she asked softly. A gauntleted hand lightly cupped her cheek, forcing her attention to stay on his face.

"Last night," he began his deep voice husky as he stared into her eyes. "What did you wonder?" he watched as her pale cheeks flared pink in the low light. She tried to turn her head away, but his other hand came up to her other cheek, trapping her.

"I, um, I was drunk and my um inside voice became my outside voice," she rambled, hoping he would drop the question. She was not so lucky. He kept her face in his hands, staring at her. She swallowed hard, dropping her gaze from his penetrating eyes to his full lips. "You promise not to get mad?"

"So long as you answer another of my questions."

"I believe you've been hanging out with Varric too much," she was dodging, and he knew it.

"And I believe you are stalling." She sighed, looking back up into his eyes.

"I wondered how your lips would feel against mine," she answered meekly. She wasn't sure what she expected his reaction to be, but his metal encased thumb brushing her bottom lip was not it.

"I have wondered that myself," he replied, his voice gruff and quiet. Cameron's heart was racing, her skin flushed.

"We could find out," she breathed, moving closer against him. He didn't back away.

"Tempting," his voice would melt ice, and sent a warm shiver through Cameron. She sighed softly in response, tilting her head up to meet him.

A breath separated them, when a squeal from Merrill startled them apart.

"Get it Sebastian! It's going for the cheese!" Fenris pulled away from her, a disappointed smile on his lips.

"Perhaps another night."


	18. Chapter 17

Cameron had never been so frustrated before in her life. She didn't dare glance at the young elven woman when she and Fenris returned to the fire. She simply made a bee line for the tent, grunting acknowledgement when Sebastian and Merrill wished her a good night.

Once she was safely inside the tent, she began to disrobe; unbuckling her belt and chainmail apron. She pulled the black satin dress over her head, her fingers moving to release the lacings of her bodice. When the tension around her ribs relaxed, she let out a stuttering sigh. She was light headed enough with arousal from her close encounter with Fenris she didn't need the extra tightness of her bodice.

She rubbed the skin that had been kept in such tight bondage to bring back circulation. It was just as her hands were cupping her breasts that the tent flap opened and Sebastian ducked inside. He was just as startled as Cameron, as the light from the fire threw a spotlight on her through the open flap. Sebastian dropped the flap, engulfing the two in the darkness of the tent. He stayed at the entrance, leaving a space of about two feet between them.

"I'm so sorry, I um, didn't realize you were…" he was stammering, thankful that his eyes had not adjusted to the darkness in the tent, and cursing the fact at the same time. To his relief, Cameron laughed. He heard the sound of fabric rustling, and assumed she had covered herself.

"It's fine Sebastian. You aren't the first person to stumble on me getting dressed. Or undressed as the case may be. I kinda expect it when we travel." There was a lightness to her voice, like a laugh was just below the surface. "Course it's usually Bela that barges into the tent. Personally I think she times her entrances." Sebastian swallowed hard at the images his mind was creating at her words.

"I still should have asked before coming in," his calm voice was a practiced one and hid the turmoil raging inside him easily. Cameron just giggled, and crawled over to him. He was in utter shock when she embraced him in a tight hug. Instinctively, his arms wound around her and the cool satin on her hot skin was delicious beneath his hands.

"Sebastian, thank you so much! You were right!" she gushed quietly into his ear. She had no idea the effect her warm breath on his ear had. It was a struggle for him to keep his thoughts centered on what she was saying rather than how she felt.

"What was I right about?" he asked in the same practiced voice, despite reeling from his traitorous thoughts and body. The feel and scent of her was temptation personified. It had been years since he felt this way; he had been so sure he had conquered this particular vice.

"It doesn't matter," she answered, releasing him and falling back onto her bedroll. "Just, thanks." Sebastian let out a soft sigh, his feelings mixed at her release.

"I'm glad to be of help, even if I don't know what that help is. Anything for you, Hawke," his disciplined voice only breaking on his last sentence. Cameron didn't notice the subtle huskiness in his voice, nor could she see the flush on his skin or his desire darkened eyes. She snuggled into her bedroll, content but exhausted.

"Good night, Sebastian," she said through a yawn before drifting off to sleep. Sebastian carefully moved to the other bedroll, pushing it as far to the other side as he could manage in the small tent. It was going to be a very long night.

Cameron woke the next morning feeling refreshed and giddy. She wasn't even mad at the sleeping Dalish next to her anymore. She hummed softly to herself while she got redressed in her full robe. Merrill stirred and woke just as Cameron was buckling her belt.

"Good morning, Hawke. Did you sleep well?" the elf asked, yawning and stretching.

"Indeed I did. I felt perfectly safe knowing you were out there keeping the squirrels at bay."

"Isabela was right! They are vicious little creatures! They tried to make off with your cheese," Cameron laughed, rolling up her bedroll.

"Come on, let's get packed up. I'm sure the others are itching to get back to town." Cameron at least was. _Perhaps another night_ could mean tonight. Maker she hoped it meant tonight.

The small sleeping supplies made packing a breeze and the four were soon on their way. Fenris was glad to see the circles gone from under Cameron's eyes and the skip returned to her step. They had fallen into a rhythm with their travels; Merrill chatting away to an amused Cameron, and Sebastian trying to convince Fenris to join him in Starkhaven.

Their trip had been uneventful until they walked through a pass. The hair on the back of Cameron's neck rose, something didn't feel right. Fenris also stopped short, feeling a familiar unease.

"You are in possession of stolen property! Step away from the slave!" the order was shouted down to them from a rocky overhang. Fury boiled Cameron's blood.

"Fenris is no ones property!" Cameron yelled back, punctuating her reply with a focused fireball. Suddenly the pass was filled with slavers. Cameron's vision was clouded with a blue shimmer as the lyrium beneath her skin strengthened every spell she cast. The pass was filled with meteors falling from the sky and shards of ice shooting up from the ground. Arrows rained down on the slaver archers, and the mages were encased in ice and stone. A wickedly curved great sword sliced through armor, flesh and bone. Bodies littered the pass and blood hardened in the sand at their feet.

Soon there was only one left, a younger mage that was thrown to the ground with a fist of earth as he tried to run. Fenris pounced on him; a panther ready for the kill.

"Where is he?" his low voice was harsh and grating as he growled into the mage's ear.

"I don't know!" was the mage's frightened squeak of an answer. Fenris slammed the man's head against the ground. "I swear! It was Hadriana! She brought us! Please don't kill me…" he whispered his plea. Fenris leaned hard on the man's back, his knee digging painfully into his spine.

"Where?" he snarled. The mage turned his head as much as he could to look up at the elf on his back.

"The holding caves on the northern pass. I can take you there!" Fenris loosened the pressure on the mage, his expression frozen in rage.

"There is no need," his voice was cold with murder in his eyes. The mage whimpered beneath the steel gaze.

"Please don't kill me," he whispered. Fenris leaned close, gauntleted hands encircling the man's neck.

"You chose the wrong master," his words punctuated with the cracking of the man's neck. "Hadriana," Fenris all but spat out the name as he rose. Cameron's normal witty personality was gone, replaced with that of a furious protector.

"I'd like to meet this Hadriana, and watch you rip her heart out," the fury behind her words was held in check with her cold statement. Merrill shivered, frightened by this side of Cameron she had never seen before. Sebastian held himself in check. A part of him longed for this battle of vengeance, but another part was screaming at him that this was wrong. For Fenris's sake, he didn't voice his conscious. Fenris nodded; there was too much going on in his head to appreciate the comradeship of the others.

"I will take us to the caves. We should make haste before they run. Or prepare."

"Lead on. We'll follow," Cameron replied, her tone less vicious now.

Fenris lead them past the piles of slavers, up and through the pass into the cliffs of the Wounded Coast. There were no words spoken as the party made there way across the rough terrain; each keeping their own counsel. They knew they had arrived when more slavers came out of their holes to greet them. This group was smaller and fared just as well as the first.

Inside the holding cave they made their way through the first of the passages, entering a room filled with bloodless corpses.

"See for yourself, the legacy of the Magisters," Fenris spat. Merrill gasped, horrified.

"They sacrifice the unwilling?" Fenris turned his glare on her.

"Is that so hard to believe? You are only a step away from it yourself."

"That's not true!" Merrill's voice was soft, trembling. Fenris simply snorted.

"Believe what you like. In my experience, mages always find a way to justify their need for power," he turned his back on her, disgusted. Merrill fought to keep her tears in check, and Cameron's hand squeezing her shoulder meant the world to her. At Cameron's look of concern, Merrill smiled slightly and nodded in answer to her unspoken question.

They continued on, past a trapped hall full of undead. Decayed flesh was punctured, burned and sliced through as they made their way deeper into the heart. Upon entering another large room, a woman's screams of help could be heard behind a group of slavers. They turned their attention from the woman when their armor began to sizzle against their flesh from the heat of Cameron's fire storm around them. They didn't last long against the combined fury of Fenris and the rest. As the final slaver fell, the young elven woman looked up to her rescuers.

"Are you alright? Did they touch you?" Fenris held back his anger, and spoke almost gently to the elven slave. She was wide eyed as she stared at Fenris, her voice breaking with her fright.

"They bled everyone! Even Papa!" Fenris started at her announcement.

"What? Why?" The slave stared up at Fenris with wide green eyes.

"The magister said she needed power. That someone was coming for her. I think she's afraid." That put a grim smile to Fenris's lips.

"She has every reason to be," he growled.

"Where is the magister now?" It was Cameron's voice coming from behind Fenris.

"She's farther in. Please don't hurt her; she'll be very angry if you hurt her." Cameron's heart broke at the sincerity in the young elf's voice.

"You're nothing to them, just property to be used," Cameron tried to convince the girl. She only shook her head vehemently.

"Everything was fine until today!" 

"It wasn't," Fenris said softly, shaking his head. "You just didn't know better."

"Are you my master now?" the girl asked Fenris the venom completely gone from her voice. He reeled back away from her.

"No!" the girl wrung her hands, looking up at him pleadingly.

"But I can cook! I can clean! What else can I do?" she was near tears. Cameron stepped forward, placing a calming hand on her shoulder.

"What's your name?" she asked gently.

"Orana," she replied. Cameron smiled at the girl.

"Ok, Orana, if you go to Kirkwall, I can help you. Just ask where to find Hawke." Orana smiled up at her.

"Oh thank you!" she bowed before darting from the room. Fenris turned hard eyes on Cameron.

"I didn't know you were in the market for a slave." Cameron clenched her jaw, glaring back at Fenris and stilling a hand from slapping him.

"I gave her a job," was her cold reply. Fenris seemed to come to his senses, realizing who he was talking to.

"Ah, my apologies." Cameron swallowed, knowing being here was hard for him.

"We should move on, Fenris. We can't let her bleed anyone else." He nodded and Cameron led the way through more tunnels and more slavers. They left a trail of broken and bloody bodies in their wake. With each kill and each step closer to the heart of the cave, Fenris's fury grew.

He didn't wait for the others when his eyes fell on the magister behind a wall of guards. The only sound from him was the scraping of his blade against the stone as he dashed forward, pulsing with power. Cameron let loose a storm of lighting into the guards just as Hadriana cast her blood fueled spell of containment. The spell was designed to strike at the lyrium inside Fenris, to stop him like a collared mage. It didn't work. For the first time in her life, Hadriana knew true terror.

Hadriana's guards and defenses were trampled. She was thrown back against the wall, weak and defenseless. She stared up as Fenris stalked towards, his sword raised for the killing blow. She had one more card to play and cried out to him.

"You do not want me dead!" Fenris smirked.

"There is only one I want dead more."

"My life for information!" she tried again, only to be rewarded with a snort.

"The location of Danarius? I would rather he lose his pet pupil." He moved in on her, a smile on his lips at the fear in her eyes.

"You have a sister," she breathed out just before the sword came down. Fenris's hand stilled as he stared at her; this was something he did not expect. Seeing the hesitation, Hadriana pressed her advantage. "I will tell you everything if you let me live." Cameron stepped up next him, concerned eyes fixed on him.

"This is your call, Fenris," she whispered. Fenris lowered his sword, kneeling down next to the magister.

"I have your word?" Hadriana asked, fear still clear in her voice.

"You have my word," he growled. Hadriana sighed, sitting up just a little straighter. With her movement, the light in the room glinted off an aurum and lyrium pendant; the design a perfect match for the collar that had been placed on Cameron. Something in Fenris snapped when he saw the key around the magister's neck. He heard her tell him of his sister, heard her tell him she was not a slave. Hate and anger boiled inside him, he began to glow as he leaned into the magister. He whispered in Arcanum for Hadriana's ears alone.

"You live for the information, but your heart is mine for marking Hawke." Hadriana had only enough time to realize what was about to happen before Fenris's hand ghosted into her chest. Fenris rose, the crushed heart of the woman dripping blood through his metal incased fingers. With one finally snarl he tossed the useless hunk of meat to the ground beside his former tormentor. "We are done here."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Cameron asked him hesitantly. He turned on her, unable to hold back the anger anymore.

"No, I don't want to talk about it!" he spat. "This could be a trap! Danarius could have sent Hadriana with news of this _sister_. Even if he didn't, trying to find her would still be suicide. Danarius has to know about her and has to know that Hadriana knows," his anger started to abate and he smiled grimly. "All that matters is I finally got to crush this bitch's heart. May she rot and all the other mages with her." he turned away from Cameron, needing distance. Cameron's gentle hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Maybe we should leave," she began gently, comfortingly. He shrugged her hand away roughly.

"Don't comfort me," he spun around to face her. "You saw what was done here! Mages will always find a way to justify their need for power! What has magic touched that it doesn't spoil?" Cameron couldn't hide the hurt that his words caused, and he couldn't combat the feeling that he had caused it. "I, need to be alone." Cameron watched him leave through blurring vision. It was only with Merrill's arms around her that she let the tears slide down her cheeks.


	19. Chapter 18

When Cameron and the others finally left the holding caves, Fenris was no where to be seen. There wasn't even a trail they could follow if they so chose. Resigned they made their way back to Kirkwall in silence.

At the gates, Merrill split off from the group after giving Cameron a final hug. Sebastian stayed with Cameron as she made her way through Lowtown towards the Hanged Man. He expected her to retreat to the familiar setting of the bar; she was always at ease around Isabela and Varric. However, Cameron didn't stay long. After a quick word with Corff, she was off again; not even bothering to greet her friends. Now Sebastian was concerned and he followed her up the stairs to Hightown.

"Hawke, where are you going?" Sebastian grabbed her arm turning her to face him. She huffed at him, worry filling her azure eyes.

"Where do you _think_ I'm going? I'm looking for him, Sebastian. He has to be here," her voice broke. "He has to come back." Her words were barely a whisper. Sebastian closed his eyes to hide the spark of jealousy, and pulled her into a comforting hug.

"He will, Hawke. Don't fret," he murmured into her ear, stroking her silvery curls. He had no care of what they looked like to passersby, he only cared about comforting the woman in his arms. He felt her shaking in his arms and she snuggled her head against his chest, just under his chin. She wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tighter.

"Please be right, Sebastian. Please, please be right," she whispered against him, closing her eyes. He couldn't help the flair of envy towards his elven friend, but he refused to give the feeling anymore thought. Cameron was what mattered right now.

"Have I ever steered you wrong before?" She laughed at that, hugging him tighter before finally pulling away. Smiling up at him, she shook her head.

"Can't say as you or Ādara have." Sebastian cocked his head.

"A friend of yours? From Fereldan?" She bit her lip, suddenly worried about revealing too much.

"You could say that," she took a breath, she trusted Sebastian. "You've met her before, but you were never introduced. She's always nearby, waiting to be called on." Suddenly, he understood.

"She has a name? Your _friend_." He was being subtle, but there was no hint of judgment or fear in his voice. Cameron let a soft sigh of relief escape her.

"Truthfully, I don't know if she is a she. She just feels, feminine – motherly. Father said she was always there watching out for me. He was the one who named her," she laughed. "What is it about you, Sebastian? I keep telling you things I've never told anyone else before. You're dangerous." It was Sebastian's turn to laugh.

"I've been called many things, but it has been awhile since dangerous was one." Cameron smiled up at him, but suddenly a cloud of worry crossed over her features and she looked away, towards the Hightown square. Sebastian didn't need to ask. "We'll check to see if he's returned home. But promise me that no matter what we find, you go back home. I believe there should be an elven woman waiting for you." She sighed; having totally forgotten about Orana after Fenris left them.

"Deal. And thank you. I often wonder where I'd be without you," she laughed. "Probably running around Hightown in my smalls cuz I forgot to get dressed." Sebastian tried to suppress the mental image, but was unsuccessful.

"I'm sure there would be few complaints if that were to occur." Cameron gave him a crooked smile, and he blushed when he realized what he had said. She took his hand and started walking towards Fenris's home.

"You really know what to say to make a girl feel good. I can definitely see you as the rakish rogue from Starkhaven, picking locks and stealing hearts," she giggled. "That sounds like a title Isabela would read."

"Or write," Sebastian responded, keeping his voice even. There was no way Cameron could know just how true her description was, or how close she brought him to starting again.

Her good humor lasted until they found Fenris's home empty. Sebastian very nearly had to drag her home; she wanted to stay and wait. It was the gentle reminder of the former slave girl that got Cameron to leave. When they reached her estate, Sebastian bade Bodahn to keep her home. Cameron glared at Sebastian when she heard the request, but he stared her down.

"You will run yourself ragged if you continue. Trust that he can take care of himself, and that he will return. Just give him time." Cameron sighed in defeat. She knew Sebastian was right – or at least she prayed that he was.

"You win. I'll stay here." At his cocked brow, she made an 'x' across her chest. "Cross my heart." Finally satisfied Sebastian left, leaving her to explain to Bodahn and her mother the circumstances that brought the meek elven woman to their door. Bodahn didn't question her, but her mother was skeptical. It took some convincing, and a little childish whining before Leandra shook her head and gave into her daughter.

After settling Orana into one of the servant's rooms, Cameron made her way to her own. She was surprised to see a small box in the center of her bed, a note clearly resting atop it. Curious, she picked it up.

_Saw this, thought of you. Enjoy! _

_~Bela_

Even more curious, and a little wary, Cameron opened the box. Inside was a small dressing gown of black silk and chiffon with a red satin sash interwoven to create an empire waist. Cameron gaped at the lovely dress, running her hand against the luscious material. It was too perfect a gift for Cameron to waste her energy on wondering where, or how, Isabela got it. Instead she brought the new gown into the bathing room, deciding that a good long soak was what she needed right now.


	20. Chapter 19

Cameron slipped her arms into the black silk dressing gown Isabela had gifted her. It wrapped around her body in loose waves, the red sash in the waist was used to tie it closed. She ran her hands down her sides, the silk like a second caress on her skin. She smiled, enjoying the feel of the decadent cloth. She didn't want to imagine what Isabela was thinking of when she picked this out for Cameron; it was probably something dirty. Still Cameron didn't mind the gift, and she had been meaning to pick up something new to sleep in.

She was just about to get into bed when she heard Bean bark downstairs. It wasn't his warning bark, but the friendly bark he reserved for visitors he knew. Cameron sighed; of course Isabela would show up tonight to see how Cameron liked her gift. Steeling herself for the inevitable battle of wills, she made her way to the entrance hall. It was not Isabela waiting for her in the hall, and when Cameron laid eyes on the elven warrior it was all she could do not to run up to him and throw her arms around him.

"Fenris?" she called out to him. He turned at the sound of her voice, intending to apologize for everything. But he lost his voice when he saw her. She was breath taking in the wispy dress, the black a perfect contrast to her pale skin and snowy hair. He had to look away, he couldn't think otherwise.

"I've been thinking about what happened with Hadriana," he began tentatively. "I uh took my anger out on you. Undeservedly so. I was…not myself. I'm sorry." Cameron stepped closer.

"I had no idea where you went. I was concerned," she tried to keep her voice even, her heart racing. Fenris glanced at her through his bangs.

"I needed to be alone. When I was still a slave, Hadriana was a torment. She would ridicule me, deny my meals, and hound my sleep. Because of her status I was powerless to do anything and she knew it. But the thought of her slipping from my grasp after what…" he stopped himself. He couldn't tell her why he broke his word. "I should go." He turned to leave. Cameron panicked, rushing up to him.

"You don't have to leave," She reached out to stop him, he couldn't leave her yet.

Fenris flared bright at her touch, his emotions warring inside him; her pleading words igniting something dark and primal. He had pressed her against the wall, his body pushing into her, before he realized what he was doing. His lips found hers possessively and she melted into his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. He wanted to touch her, to feel her skin with his bare hands. Without breaking their hungry kiss, Fenris ripped his gauntlets off, throwing them to the floor.

His body was thrumming, the lyrium tingling beneath his skin. Cameron was moaning into his mouth, tangling her fingers in his hair. He gripped her rocking hips in his hands, sliding the soft silk against her smooth skin.

She whimpered against his lips, reaching to push his hand down farther; to touch her skin as she wrapped that leg around him. She jerked hard against him, throwing her head back at the sudden wave of euphoria that washed over her. Fenris growled against her throat, his teeth grazing her pulse as his own body trembled with pleasure.

"Fenris," she breathed against his ear, a question hidden in his name. He pulled back just enough to look into her desire darkened eyes; those eyes that mirrored the wanting in his own. There was no hesitation in him as he lifted her in his arms, her other leg wrapping around his waist. He carried her up the stairs while her tongue and lips traced the lyrium along his neck.

It was an eternity before he was in her room, kicking the door closed behind them. She was nipping at his pulse, and giggled when his throat vibrated with his growl. A hand tangled in her hair, pulling her head back. He laid her down on the bed, his fingers slipping from her hair to trail feather light along the neck of her dress. She shivered at the soft touch, arching into his caress. Deft hands tugged at the sash, pulling it free of the gown. The fine material slid open for his questing fingers.

Fenris cupped a breast in his hand, his thumb brushing over the hardened nipple. A stuttering sigh was his reward. He leaned over her, replacing his thumb with his lips; sucking the nipple into his mouth. Cameron moaned, incoherently tugging at the buckles of his armor. She felt his lips turn up into a smile before he pulled away. She whimpered plaintively at the loss of his touch. The mournful noise soon changed as she watched him pull the armor off.

He was meticulous in his removal, and Cameron was captivated. She drank in every inch of skin he revealed, biting her lip as her hand moved between her legs of its own accord. A deep growl escaped Fenris as he watched her, the careful removal of his clothes suddenly too slow. Franticly he tugged his pants and smalls down in one quick movement, eager to feel her skin on his.

His whole body was on fire with pleasure. He didn't want to wait anymore, couldn't wait. He pulled her hand away, sliding into her. He only stilled at her small squeak of pain. She eased his worry by capturing his lips in a hungry kiss, rocking her hips up to meet his. He groaned into her mouth, thrusting hard inside her. He could feel the budding waves of magic around her; feel the rising tide of pleasure. Her nails dug into his back, scratching as her body tensed. She arched into him, crying out his name. It was a rolling wave of ecstasy that hit them both and at the peak, the swell of magic burst around them.

Memories came flooding back to him; names, faces. But as the magic surrounding them faded, so did the memories. He tried to grasp them, to keep them, but they were gone. He opened his eyes, looking down into Cameron's contented face.

She looked so happy, so perfect. Suddenly the world began to swim around him, he felt _wrong_. He didn't deserve what she gave him so freely. He pulled away from her, and she opened her eyes.

"Fenris…?" he was clumsily pulling his pants on, he wouldn't look at her. She sat up fast, concern filling her cerulean eyes. "What's wrong?" he pulled the jerkin over his head, still not answering her. "Fenris!" she grabbed the front of the jacket, turning him to face her. He wouldn't look in her eyes, but he finally answered.

"I…began to remember my life before. There were faces, words…" Cameron dropped her hand.

"Your life before?"

"Now it's gone. All of it." He looked at her now, his green eyes tortured. "This is too much, too fast. I can't…I can't," he saw the hurt return to her eyes, and he turned away from her. "I'm sorry. I feel like such a fool. I just wanted …to be happy. At least for a little while. Forgive me," and he was gone, leaving Cameron to stare disbelieving after him.

It wasn't until she heard the front door slam shut that reality hit her. She fell to her knees, completely numb to everything around her.


	21. Chapter 20

"Well, when I came over to check on you, I certainly wasn't expecting to see you so…well dressed," Isabela commented, striding over to Cameron who sat at her vanity lining her eyes in a dark kohl. She was dressed in a long black gown with blue accents, a matching corset wrapped tightly around her waist. Around her neck she wore a choker of black velvet with silver and sapphires. Resting on the vanity was a small masquerade mask to match.

"Why did you feel the need to check up on me?" Cameron asked, not looking at her friend as she dropped the kohl pencil. She began to pin her white curls up in a messy twist. Isabela watched her through the mirror, her lips pursed and brow cocked.

"Why do you think, Sweet thing? You haven't been making your usual rounds for a week. We were getting worried." She answered.

"We?" Cameron asked, taking one final look at her herself before placing the mask on.

"Well, mostly just me. You know how I get when I can't look at the pretty people. And it's been a week since you stormed into the Hanged Man and didn't even say hello." Cameron sighed. She had secluded herself since that night with Fenris, leaving only to visit with the Viscount. She should have known that someone would come calling on her.

"I've been busy; politics and what not," was her evasive response. Isabela crossed her arms over her chest, that same brow cocking up again.

"And this get up?" Cameron rolled her eyes.

"Some stupid fall masquerade. Apparently all the nobles are doing it, and mother so kindly RSVPed for me," she sighed again. "I'm going for her. It'll make her happy to have such a well viewed daughter. Besides, it's a good excuse to get Sebastian out looking for allies."

"Oh? A date with Choir Boy? I'm intrigued now," Isabela sat on Cameron's bed, leaning back on her arms. Cameron turned around to glare at her friend.

"It's not a date," she replied angrily. "He's just escorting me last minute. Sandal's got the sniffles and Bodahn won't leave him. And seeing as how Sebastian is probably the only one of us that knows how these stupid formal balls are, I figured he'd be a good choice."

"And the fact that he's a looker doesn't hurt either, I bet." Cameron just shook her head.

"Is that all you can think about?"

"Most of the time. Once you get some experience in that field, you'll understand." Cameron looked away, but not in time to hide her expression. "Oh my! Has the mighty Hawke finally lost her cherry?" Cameron glared at Isabela, her voice hard.

"We are _not_ speaking of this. Ever." The harshness in Cameron's tone stilled Isabela. The two women just stared at each other before a soft knock interrupted them. Orana cracked the door.

"Mistress, Prince Vael has arrived," she said softly. Cameron smiled at the elven woman.

"Thank you, Orana. Tell him, I'll be down shortly." Orana curtsied before slipping away, silent as a mouse. Cameron turned her attention back to her pirate friend. "This goes no further, Bela. Understand?" Isabela nodded; for once her expression was serious. Cameron turned back to her reflection, picking up the kohl pencil again and colored her lips black. Isabela stood a gentle and sincere smile on her lips.

"It'll work itself out, just be patient," and she left with out looking back. Cameron closed her eyes, willing the tears away before they could fall.

Sebastian waited in the large foyer. It had taken nearly the whole day searching for something suitable to wear for the evening's activities. He settled on a high necked tunic in ivory and snug leather pants. The mask he held in his hand was his, a remnant of his former life. It was a simple mask made to resemble a raptor, decorated with falcon feathers. He looked up when he heard someone on the stairs. Isabela sauntered over to him, a wicked smile on her face.

"Good luck Choir Boy," she murmured as she passed him, winking. Sebastian watched her leave, confused; until he turned and saw Cameron walking down the steps. She was a gothic beauty in her velvet and satin gown. Sebastian swallowed hard, trying in vain to reign in his traitorous body.

"You look beautiful," he told her. She smiled, hooking her arm through his.

"There you go again, making me feel all warm and squishy inside. Does it come natural or did you take classes?" she joked, leading him out of her estate.

"I suppose it's natural. I've learned that speaking the truth has its own rewards." Cameron laughed, dropping her head against his shoulder. Sebastian tried to ignore how good she felt leaning against his arm, but it was a lost cause. He realized then, the evening was bound to be full of temptations.

When Isabela finally returned to the Hanged Man, Varric and Fenris were in the midst of a game of Wicked Grace. After the confrontation with Cameron, Isabela finally understood the extra broodiness coming from the elf. Something happened between the two of them, and both were hurting.

She slipped onto the bench next to Fenris, scooting in rather close and stealing the glass of brandy in front of him. He glared at her, but let her take it.

"So, did you get in to see our elusive Hawke?" Varric asked before taking a pull from his pint.

"Was there any doubt?" Isabela responded, keeping a close but inconspicuous eye on Fenris. "She said she's been busy politcating."

"That's not even a word," Varric quibbled. Isabela just gave him a stunning smile.

"What can I say? I love teasing you with my entertainingly bad vocabulary. But Hawke's alive and well. In fact she was off to a fancy pants shindig," she grinned wickedly. "And you should have seen her Varric. She was like, sex incarnate. I envy her date tonight." Isabela smirked at Fenris's jealous flush. He stood, dropping his cards and left without so much as a word.

"Couldn't you have at least waited until the hand was finished before baiting the beast? I was going to let him win."

"Trust me, he deserved it."


	22. Chapter 21

They entered the estate of the Comte de Launcet, and Cameron handed her invitation to the emcee. He glanced quickly at it, before announcing their arrival.

"Serah Hawke with escort, Prince Vael." Sebastian started at his title, but Cameron's movement forward stirred him to follow. The nobles gathered appraised the two as they entered the main hall, most dismissing them as lesser beings for their lack of adornment. Sebastian pulled her to the side to let the next couple have their moment in the spotlight.

"I should not have been introduced as 'Prince,'" he whispered to her. Cameron shook her head, reaching up to cup his cheek.

"That's exactly how you should be introduced. You _are_ Prince Sebastian Vael. And one of these days you're going to see the truth of it." Her voice was firm, determined. Sebastian could only stare into her kohl lined eyes, his indecision clear in his own. Cameron sighed. "One of these days, Sebastian." She pulled away from him, plastering a fake smile on her face and moved into the viper's nest; it was time to play the good little noble daughter.

Fenris had no idea where he was going, or why. But Isabela's taunts had stirred a possessiveness he had no right to feel. Somehow, he found himself in Hightown. The location of the gala was easy to determine with the lights and music playing loudly through the streets. He had no control over his feet as they took him towards the sounds, and around the estate. He found a window that looked in on the masquerade, and he watched in the shadows.

It was not hard to find Cameron amongst the gathered nobles and his heart began to race as he watched her. Isabela had been wrong in her description. Cameron was not sex incarnate, but perfection personified. He couldn't take his eyes off her, nor could he fight the jealous knot in his stomach when a raptor masked man took her hand. She nodded to something he said, and he led her onto the dance floor. He watched as the auburn haired man twirled her in a dance and it was a struggle to keep himself in check.

He had no idea who the man was, but the genuine smile she bestowed on him was painful to Fenris. He couldn't stay there anymore, couldn't watch her giggle and smile in someone else's arms. He moved away from the window, away from the shadows and away from the manor.

Sebastian was an experienced dancer, and easily evaded Cameron's less graceful feet as he spun her around the dance floor. He enjoyed the way her nose would crinkle when she missed the step, or the way she grinned when she finally got the moves. The dance was over too soon, and another asked her for the next one. At her acceptance, Sebastian reluctantly released her.

Cameron was surprised at how many people asked for a dance. Some made idle conversation to her breasts, but most asked about her escort. She didn't hold back in her praise of Sebastian or shrink from asking them for assistance. Each time one of her dance partners went to converse with Sebastian, she smiled. And each time Sebastian clapped hands with a new ally, she felt smug.

She returned to his side when the minstrels stopped for an intermission. He stared at her in amazement.

"I had asked these same men for help not three months ago, and in one evening, you convince them to join me. How?" he asked, handing her a glass of wine. She grinned.

"A talented tongue. Varric isn't the only one who has a way with words." Cameron didn't notice Sebastian's twitch at her phrasing. She took a sip of the wine he had given her. As soon as the sickly bitter liquid touched her tongue she gagged, spitting it back into the glass. "Ugh, it tastes like something died in the barrel." She grumbled, putting the glass on a passing servant's empty tray.

"Strange," Sebastian mused, smiling at her grimace. "Mine tasted fine." Cameron stuck her tongue out at him, but then smiled.

"Well, maybe next time I'll just steal yours."

"You need only ask, and I will give it freely." She grinned at him.

"With my luck, you'll have a glass from the same bottle as that one," she motioned in the direction the glass had gone. Sebastian chuckled.

"Your luck can't be that bad," at the shadow that fell across Cameron's face, he became serious. "What's wrong?" She shook her head, her hands gripping her sides. She darted from the ball room without looking back. "Hawke!" Sebastian called before following her.

She hadn't gone far, ducking into an empty room. She had been so careful not think about Fenris all evening, but his face had suddenly popped into her mind. She heard his last words to her clear as if he had spoken them right then. Her head had begun to swim and she couldn't catch her breath. Not really knowing what she was doing, she had run. When Sebastian caught up to her, she was panting and pulling at the laces of her corset.

"Hawke?" she glanced at him, a faint smile on her lips to cover the pain she didn't want him to see.

"Light headed," she explained. "Think Orana pulled this thing too tight." Sebastian's brows furrowed beneath his mask. He didn't believe her explanation, but helped tug the corset open with experienced hands. Cameron took a deep breath, leaning on the wall with her back to him. Sebastian didn't move away, instead turning Cameron to face him. He didn't speak. But watched her, waiting for her to break down and tell him the real reason. She slumped against the wall, looking away from him. "You're too good at the Chantry guilt trip look, you know that right?" He smiled, just a little smug.

"What troubles you? The _real_ one this time." She sighed, pulling the mask from her face.

"I think there's something wrong with me." He waited for her to continue, taking his own mask off. "I'm told one thing, but then something happens and everything goes to shit."

"What do you mean?" sometimes he just couldn't follow her random trails of thought.

"My luck that you mentioned earlier is beyond screwy. Did you know my first kiss was with an abomination?" at his startled look, she nodded. "Yeah. Apparently I'm absolutely tasty to fade beings all of a sudden. Can't figure out why. And to anyone else?" she swallowed back tears. "Let's just say I'm not good enough for anything else."

Sebastian captured her face in his hands, lifting her gaze to his. It took all his control to keep from kissing her black stained lips. He had a sinking suspicion of what was causing her distress and he couldn't add his own torment to hers.

"Never say that. Never _think_ that. You are more than good enough," he took a breath before adding quietly, "Did it ever occur to you, that he might think he's not good enough for you?" she blinked up at him, her mind processing his words. Then she smiled and kissed Sebastian hard. She slipped away from him as his body reeled.

"You're the best, Sebastian!" and she was gone, leaving a very frustrated and jealous prince behind.

Fenris's mansion was not far and with Sebastian's words echoing in her brain, she boldly made her way there. She didn't falter as she opened his door, didn't hesitate as she entered his study, and didn't balk when he turned startled eyes on her.

"Fenris, I have one thing to ask you and I need to know. Will you stay and fight with me? I made you a promise when we first met that will be very hard to keep if you leave." She watched as his body relaxed and he moved closer to her. He took her hand in his gauntleted one, and hope soared beneath her breast when she looked into his eyes.

"I remain by your side," he said softly.


	23. Chapter 22

Cameron had managed to get out of the alley and away from the crowds before she dropped to her knees and threw up. Isabela laughed, but that soon turned into a wretched cough. Fenris didn't hide the smile at Isabela's distress; it served her right for laughing at Cameron. Sebastian had knelt behind Cameron and held her hair back.

"We were only in that gas for ten minutes," he began, his voice hoarse. "I can't imagine how anyone else managed."

"Poorly, I suspect," Fenris replied, he alone seemed unfazed by the saar-qamek. Cameron finally stopped retching and used Sebastian as a crutch to stand. She was unsteady on her feet, but determined to walk on her own. She made it four steps before she fell against a wall.

"Flaming knicker weasels," she muttered. She had been feeling ill for the last month, and this little adventure certainly wasn't helping. She pushed herself off the wall, only to fall against Fenris. His arms wrapped around her, steadying her.

"You need rest. We should take you –" Fenris began.

"What I need is a stiff one," she cut him off with a growl.

"And a drink," Isabela chimed in with a cough laced giggle. Cameron was too irritated to get flustered with the pirate's inappropriate jokes.

"I'm going to the Hanged Man. And I'm going to get smashed. You're more than welcome to come along, but short of tying me up, you're not keeping me from going," Cameron stated, willing strength back into her legs. Fenris glared down at her, but she glared right back.

"Will you two just fuck already? Oh wait, too late." This time Isabela's remarks got a reaction. Both Fenris and Cameron looked away from each other, matching blushes spreading across their cheeks. Sebastian cleared his throat to pull the attention towards him rather than Isabela's statement.

"A drink sounds like a wonderful idea," he said calmly. "Perhaps Anders will still be there." Fenris nodded ever so slightly, understanding Sebastian's implied thought. With him no longer fighting her, Cameron let Fenris help her towards the tavern with the two rogues following behind.

When they arrived, the Hanged Man was near empty. They found Anders and Varric in Varric's room in the middle of a game of Diamondback. Cameron dropped herself in the nearest chair, letting her head fall onto the table. Isabela doubled over, no longer able to hold back her cough. Sebastian was patting the pirates back, looking to Anders for assistance.

"Let me guess, something exciting happened?" Varric asked as Anders jumped into action. Cameron snorted and raised her head.

"Oh, just the usual crazy fanatics trying to kill people and start holy wars. Just another Tuesday in Kirkwall." Cameron muttered bitterly, crossing her arms around her stomach; the nausea was building again. Anders looked at her questioningly, but she shook her head. Disappointment shadowed his eyes, but he turned his attention to Sebastian; the only other person who seemed to need healing.

"Drink?" Varric asked her, pushing his own mostly full pint towards her. Cameron grinned, taking the mug in hand.

"Varric, you are just the sweetest," she brought the mug to her lips pushing past the new wave of nausea from the smell of hops and barley. She was determined to get drunk. Before the alcohol touched her lips however, the mug was hurled across the room just barely missing Anders as he moved to take his seat. Fenris's markings burst to life at the sudden flair of magic from Cameron, and even Justice pushed himself out filling the room with fade light.

"**Honor,"** Justice whispered, staring at Cameron. At the same time, Isabela flinched unconsciously going for her daggers.

"It is way too shiny in here, and I like shiny," she tried to joke. But no one was listening to her. All eyes were on a very startled Cameron. She rose from the table on shaky legs, her eyes holding Justice's gaze. Fenris moved to steady Cameron, his markings slowly dimming with the magic dissipated.

"Why don't you let Anders come back and finish his game? There's nothing for you here right now," Cameron stated, her eyes never leaving Justice.

"**We shall see**," was his cryptic response before fading away. A disoriented Anders slumped into his seat, shaking his head.

"What just happened?" It was Varric's voice piping in. "That was a perfectly good ale."

"Apparently not everyone agrees," she whispered before her voice became stronger. "Fenris, I think you may have been right before. I need to go home." He nodded, keeping her steady with his hands on her elbows. With a forced smile, Cameron let the warrior lead her from the room.

"Ok. _That_ wasn't normal," Isabela stated. The men in the room glared at her. "What? I'm just saying, something's not right."

"Clearly your comprehension of the obvious is remarkable," Anders hissed at her. Varric simply rolled his eyes. Isabela glared at the mage slumping back in her chair.

"Perhaps I should head back to Hightown myself," Sebastian finally spoke, seeming to be the only one who had caught on to Isabela's rare subtlety. Isabela grinned at the prince.

"If you hurry, you might catch them before they hit the stairs."


	24. Chapter 23

Fenris's head was spinning as he led a distracted Cameron through Lowtown. She hadn't called her spirit, he was sure. There had been no reason to then, but it came just the same. He didn't want to think about what that meant. He couldn't bear to think of Cameron as an abomination.

Cameron stopped suddenly, just before they reached the stairs to Hightown. Fenris was so lost in his thoughts he hadn't noticed until he felt her resistance.

"Fenris," she began, worrying her lower lip. "I um. I need to do something. And I um, I can't do it alone. I need help. Strong help." Fenris's brows furrowed as he turned to look at her, he said nothing and Cameron couldn't read anything in his expression. She sighed. "Maybe this was a bad idea to bring up."

"What are you planning?" he finally asked her. Cameron pursed her lips, staring up at him as she tried to figure the best way to word her request.

"I need to do something very dangerous. But it's only dangerous to me," at his glare she rushed on. "It's not bad dangerous…okay maybe a little. But it's the only way I can do it without resorting to," she dropped her voice and finished with a hiss of disgust. "Blood magic."

"What is it you think you must do?" Sebastian's voice behind them made Cameron jump, spinning on her heel to face him.

"Maker! Sebastian you are way too quiet," but then her face lit up. "Wait, you've got some first aid training right? From the Chantry?" at his nod her grin grew. "Then you can help!"

"Help with what?" it was Fenris's growl at her ear, his hot breath on her neck temporarily stunting her ability to think.

"Ādara," she was finally able to find her words. "I need to talk to her." Sebastian's brows rose, and Fenris growled softly in anger. He was the only one completely in the dark.

"How do you intend to speak with her?" Sebastian asked, bringing a wry smile to her face.

"Lyrium and ice water." She didn't explain further, simply grabbed each man's hand and tugged them towards her estate.

Bean was the only one in the front hall when they arrived. It was late and Cameron guessed, and hoped, they were all asleep. It was going to hard enough to explain what she needed to the two men, it would be impossible to explain to her mother. Neither had spoken as she dragged them here, now she glanced over her shoulder at them. Fenris was glaring, and Sebastian wore an expression of confusion and concern.

"Um, can you guys wait here for like five minutes? I'll call you when I need you!" she dashed upstairs before either could say a word. Fenris snarled, turning to Sebastian.

"Who is Ādara?" he snapped at the other man.

"Her spirit," Sebastian answered softly. Fenris reeled back, his eyes wide. Suddenly her words were beginning to make sense. He grabbed Sebastian's collar, pulling the surprised prince close.

"Do you know what to do with a drowning victim?" he asked softly. Sebastian's eyes grew wide, but he nodded.

"Yes, of course. But why?" before Fenris could explain, Cameron called to them from the top of the stairs. She had changed out of her clothes and into a long dressing gown. She was fidgeting as she waited for them. Fenris glared at her as he stalked up the stairs. He grabbed the front of her robe in a gauntleted fist as he pushed her roughly back into her own room. A confused Sebastian followed, managing to hear the last bits of Fenris's whispered words.

"…We do if you die?"

"Don't let it happen. I need to do this Fenris. I have to know why she's interfering. It's the _only_ way I know how to with out asking Merrill or Anders."

"What you're planning could kill you?" Sebastian's surprised voice cutting in. Cameron didn't answer, instead looking away from. "If that's true, then why not ask Merrill or Anders?" Cameron sighed, tugging her robe lose from Fenris's grip.

"Merrill will use blood magic to call her, and could very easily corrupt her. And it's not that I don't want or even need Anders's help, I don't want Justice here. There's something wrong with him, and I'm pretty sure Ādara could shed some light. Light that Justice might not want shed." Neither man could argue with her, the points she made were valid. They glanced at each other, speaking with out, they finally nodded.

"What do you need of us?" Fenris asked her softly. She smiled, placing a gentle hand on his chest plate.

"Can you hold me down? It's going to be cold." Fenris closed his eyes; he didn't want her to see the pain there. He nodded, turning away from her as he pulled his gauntlets off. "Sebastian, I'll need you to be ready to," she bit her lip. "I'll need you to be ready to resuscitate me."

"And if I can't?"

"Then Starkhaven will need a new prince," Fenris answered for her. Cameron glared at him.

"No." she stated harshly. "If you fail, then I stay in the fade. Nothing more." She turned hard eyes on Fenris. "Promise." Fenris said nothing, just removed his chest plate. Cameron shook her head, trusting that Fenris wouldn't kill Sebastian. She left them alone and entered her bathing room. She had emptied ten lyrium potions into the tub and now began to fill it with water. She could hear her companions talking in the other room, but couldn't make out the words over the sound of rushing water and the clink of metal.

The tub was full by the time Sebastian and Fenris entered the room, both having removed their armor. Cameron didn't look at either, she knew if she saw the concern in their eyes she wouldn't be able to go through with it. Something was wrong and this was the only sane option she could think of to find out what. She almost laughed at the irony of her situation; killing herself to speak to her spirit was the _sane_ option.

"Ready?" she asked herself as well as the two men. Before they could answer, she slipped the robe off her shoulders and slipped into the tub completely naked. She hadn't chilled the water yet, knowing she wouldn't have been able to get in if she had. Fenris knelt beside the tub, nodding to her.

She gave him a tentative smile and closed her eyes. They both knew it would be quicker if she didn't see it coming. Letting out a deep breath, she froze the water. She bit down on her squeal as the icy water burned her skin, her body flexing to jump from the cold tub. Before she could move, Fenris's hand was on her chest, pushing her through the thin ice layer floating on top. A strange wave of passion and comfort shocked a gasp from her, her startled inhalation being nothing but ice and water. Her lungs and chest burned in agony, and she struggled beneath the water her eyes searching, imploring. Fenris did not, could not watch. He felt as her struggle and heart slowed to a stop, a single tear breaking free of his control.


	25. Chapter 24

Cameron gasped, shooting up right in her bed. She looked around the room, recognizing the charred wall of her old bedroom in Lothering. Bethany had scorched the wall when she was seven after Carver had cut off one of her pigtails. Cameron shook off the wave of heartache the memory caused.

"**You take too many risks, Little Bird**," It was Cameron's voice coming from the doorway. The woman standing there was her mirror doppelganger - dark tan skin, lush black curls and white-blue eyes. It was eerie to look into her own face, but she shook the feeling away and rose to meet Ādara for the second time.

"Risk is my middle name," she had hoped the joke would break the tension, but Ādara's hard stare was far from comforting.

"**You are playing with more than just your own life now. Think of how that should affect your choices**."

"Why does everything always fall to my shoulders?" Ādara cocked a dark brow.

"**You chose this path. Do not falter in your convictions now. There is no honor in running from your choices.**"

"Ok, that's the second time tonight I've heard that word. It makes sense coming from you, but Justice?" Ādara dropped her gaze, causing Cameron's brow to arch. "You know something, don't you?"

"**I know many things.**" Cameron almost laughed, but a sudden jolt through her body shocked her into seriousness. "**Ah, it seems your prince is saving you.**" Cameron glared.

"You know what I wanted to ask! Just tell me!" Ādara's lips turned up into a half smile.

"**For the first, your body has already told you, you just refuse to listen. I took measures to protect my charges. As for the second…**" Ādara took a deep breath. "**Honor and Justice go hand in hand. But there is **_**no**_** Honor with Vengeance.**" Cameron's eyes widened at the words. But before she could confirm her thoughts, she was falling away.

Sebastian held his ground as he watched Fenris hold Cameron beneath the water, though it took everything in him to do so. He could see the calm distance in the elf's expression slowly crack as Cameron's flailing arms slowly stopped. He knew as the tear slid down Fenris's cheek, that Cameron's heart had stopped. She never told him how long to wait, and there was nothing in the world that could have made him listen if she had.

He rushed to the tub, pushing Fenris away before reaching into the frigid water. He bit his cheek on the cold burn and pulled the limp mage from the tub. He laid her flat on her back, turning her head side to side. The amount of water that gushed from her mouth was disconcerting, but she had only been beneath the water for two minutes; she couldn't possibly have too much in her lungs. Straightening her head, he pinched her nose and breathed a strong exhalation into her. Through the corner of his eye he watched her chest, silently praying for movement. Four breaths, nothing. Eight breaths, nothing.

Twelve breaths and she coughed, retching the remaining water from her lungs. Sebastian whispered a prayer of thanks before helping her sit up. Fenris knelt on her other side, draping a towel over her wet and naked form. Cameron's head rolled to the side, resting on Sebastian's shoulder.

"No honor…justice…" she mumbled against his chest, though she didn't appear conscious. Her skin was ice through his shirt, and the knowledge of what they needed to do next brought the color rushing to his cheeks.

"Fenris, she is freezing. We need to warm her quickly," Fenris nodded, taking her from Sebastian. She moaned in his arms, her body already beginning to shake. Fenris brought her back into the bedroom, laying her next to the fire. He rubbed her dry with the towel, hoping to chafe the warmth back into her. He didn't stop his task even as Sebastian laid a hand on his shoulder.

"She needs body heat," he said softly. "Skin to skin…" Fenris's ears burned red, and Sebastian was honestly not sure if it was from anger or embarrassment, but the look he shot Sebastian was one of fear.

"I…can't," he finally said, though he held Cameron tightly. Sebastian clucked his tongue in annoyance.

"You can drown her, but you can't lay naked with her to save her?" Fenris dropped his head; gently laying Cameron's shaking body down. He stood, striding to the door, past a shocked Sebastian.

"I don't expect you to understand," and then he was gone. Cameron's groan drew Sebastian's attention away from his irritation. She was shaking violently, her head striking the marble floor. Sebastian rushed to her side, picking her up and carrying her back to her bed. He stripped down to his smalls and climbed beneath the blankets with her. He held her shivering body tight against him, feeling his warmth seep into her icy flesh.

He couldn't ignore the softness of her skin, or how sweet she felt pressed against him. He closed his eyes and prayed.


	26. Chapter 25

He was so warm; so strong as he held her close to his hard body. Cameron sighed softly, her breath tickling across his throat. He started a bit, pulling back far enough to look down to her upturned face.

"Hawke…" he began before her lips claimed his words in a hungry kiss. He tried to pull away but her hand slid into his hair, trapping him in her kiss.

His large, calloused hand held on to her hip, keeping them apart. But Cameron's leg slipped over his thighs, pulling her tighter to his cloth covered groin. The feel of her heat rubbing against his quickly hardening erection was sapping his will. A shaky hand hesitantly slid up a long the dip of her waist, lightly teasing the skin of her side.

Cameron moaned softly into their kiss, but his tease was not enough. Her own hand slid from his hair, scratching down his chest. His hand finally reached her breast, but his gentle caress changed to a hard grope and his tender kiss became hard and heated. Cameron's deft fingers had slipped past the waist of his smalls, her hand wrapping around his cock, moving up with a strong and sure stroke.

Sebastian's mind went blank. It had been years since another's hand caressed him; years since he felt the softness of a woman in his arms. He pushed her down, rolling a top her. She groaned into his kiss, her hand tightening around him as her back arched, pushing her harder against him.

He broke the heated kiss, capturing her lip between his teeth. His fingers tightened around a hardened nipple, and a stuttering gasp was his reward. She began to push his smalls down, freeing his cock to brush along the smooth skin of her thighs. Sebastian groaned. He wanted more of her; to taste more; to feel more.

His fingers raked into her hair, pulling her head back. His lips and teeth worked their way down her throat, spurned on by the increasingly breathy moans that escaped Cameron. His other hand slipped down her taunt belly, over the soft curls and dipped into the slick wetness between her legs.

"Fe –Fenris!" Cameron cried out, her fingers digging into Sebastian's hips, pulling him tighter against her, teasing sparks of electricity danced across their bodies.

His thrusting fingers inside her stilled. His friend's name on her lips worked like an ice bath. She wasn't awake. She wasn't here with him. He pulled back, his body screaming at him to keep going. Cameron's plaintive whimpering, her grasping hands trying to pull him back was not helping.

"Hawke," he tried, his voice horse with desire. Cameron whined, her hand grasping and stroking his trembling cock. Sebastian groaned, closing his eyes. He so desperately wanted to give in, he had never wanted a woman as much as he wanted Cameron.

"Hawke!" he growled, roughly pulling her hands away from him, pressing them hard into the bed. Another whimper escaped, her hips thrusting against his was nearly his undoing. "Hawke!" he nearly shouted, shaking her roughly.

The abrupt movement caused a sharp pain in the back of her head and an off beat flutter in her chest. She gasped in pain, curling in on herself. Sebastian sat up quickly in alarm, but was gentle as he pushed her to lie back. Instinct took over, and a soft green glow surrounded her.

When she opened her eyes, they were clear and alert. Sebastian let out a relieved breath. Cameron blinked up at him and as the situation began to dawn on her, she turned crimson from head to toe.

"Sebastian! Oh, no…oh Maker, I am _so_ sorry! I thought –" he pressed a finger against her lips to silence her. He couldn't bear to hear her say it again. He forced his expression into calmness.

"I know what you thought. It's understandable. You were still suffering from your ordeal last night. You weren't aware until you healed yourself. It's alright. There's been no harm done," he smiled as he lied to her. "I'm just glad you woke before doing more that you'd regret." She was silent for awhile, just looking at him. He couldn't keep her gaze and sat back against the headboard, closing his eyes.

"But you wouldn't regret it?" she finally asked softly. He didn't answer her.

"Were you successful last night?" he asked, deliberately and forcefully changing the subject. At the reminder of last night's events, Cameron groaned. She sat up, pulling her legs to her chest. She didn't care that the blanket slid down her knees to pool around her feet.

"There seems to be a connection. Between Ādara and Justice. How much of one I'm not sure about. You pulled me back too soon." his brows furrowed.

"If I didn't work quickly, there was no guarantee that you would have survived." She smiled at him, unconsciously petting his thigh through the blanket. The muscle in his leg twitched, and she pulled her hand back quickly; another blush painting her cheeks.

"Sorry," she said quietly, and then strong again as she returned to the conversation at hand. "I understand you did what you needed to do to save me, and I'm grateful." Her lips twisted up into a sardonic smile. "For me _and_ the little one." She refused to look at him as bitter tears welled in her eyes, but didn't fall. Neither spoke as her statement was processed.

"A…child?" Sebastian finally asked. Cameron snorted.

"Yeah. Apparently first time's the charm," she stated derisively. "You remember how my luck goes, right?"

"Hawke –" he started but she cut him off, angrily rising from the bed.

"Don't start. Just…don't," she pulled a shift from the wardrobe, tugging it over her head roughly. Sebastian rose from the bed himself, only bothering to pull up his smalls. He walked up behind her, gingerly laying his hands on her shoulders.

"What are you going to do?" he asked gently. She slumped back against his chest, resting her cheek on his hand.

"I'm going to do what I've been doing. And when I can't hide it – her anymore," her hands ghosted across her belly. "Then he'll know if he wants to." Sebastian turned her to face him, his expression dark.

"You won't tell him?" Cameron twisted from his grip.

"Why would I?" she hissed. "He helped make her, then he bolted like a rabbit! No. He's got enough problems without me adding this to them."

"If you won't then I –"

"You won't," she stated forcefully, stalking up to him. "Promise me. No one – _no one_ – is going to be told," her voice went quiet, beseeching "Promise me, please." She looked up at him with wide pleading eyes. Suddenly his anger and frustration was lost as he stared into her imploring and frightened gaze. He could deny her nothing. Resigned, he nodded.

"Just…Just promise me you'll be careful." She smiled up at him humorlessly.

"Aren't I always?"


	27. Chapter 26

"Fenris, this is not a pleasant surprise," Aveline stated, crossing her arms over her breast plate. A bruised Donnic released the manacles around the bloody elf's wrists at Aveline's nod. Fenris's response was to spit a glob of clotted blood to the floor. Aveline's lips thinned as she stared at her companion. "What happened?" she finally asked Donnic who had not left her office.

"Lowtown patrol found him in a fist fight with the 'Dog Lords.' We went to assist, and he turned his fists on us, Captain." Aveline raised a copper brow.

"And you took him down? Impressive." Fenris growled, rubbing the bruised flesh of his wrists. "Thank you, Guardsman. I can handle this from here." Donnic's brows furrowed.

"Captain, if I may –"

"Dismissed," her tone was friendly, but brooked no argument. Reluctantly, Donnic left closing the door behind him.

"Now, Fenris, it's not like you to keep your sword sheathed." Fenris snorted and stalked to the door. "Fenris!" But he didn't stop.

"Check on Hawke," was the only thing he said before slamming the door of Aveline's office. It took Aveline a second before she was right behind him, muttering a quiet curse. Donnic was already striding to follow his captain, but the quick and angry shake of her head stilled him. He watched as she marched from the barracks after the elf.

Fenris made it as far as the courtyard in front of the Amell estate before his anger at himself shifted to fear. If she had died because of him…He shivered as icy tendrils of memory replayed again in his mind. She _did_ die because of him. He held her down. He _felt_ her heart stop. If not for Sebastian, she would never have breathed again.

He was so lost in thought as he stared at Cameron's door, he didn't hear the clanking that signaled Aveline's approach. He flared bright blue at her hand on his shoulder; it was only her quick side step that saved her from feeling his fist in her chest. She glared at him as he settled down.

"That's two Fenris. Third time, and I toss you into the hold." She had expected a scathing quip, but he remained silent. Aveline's concern sky rocketed with his strange behavior and she pounded on the door. A sleepy Sandal opened the door.

"Salamanders?" He asked Aveline, but it was Bodahn's voice from the hallway that answered.

"Not today, my boy," he opened the door wider looking up at Aveline and Fenris. "Ah, Messers, Serah Hawke has not come down yet this morn –" Fenris pushed past Bodahn, his guilty conscious urging him through. Aveline gave Bodahn an apologetic smile before following behind the bewildering elf.

Fenris didn't hesitate this time, and threw Cameron's bedroom door wide. His eyes widened as he caught Cameron hugging an all but naked Sebastian. The relief at seeing Cameron up and alive was quickly replaced by a powerful anger that sent his markings to blazing again. It was only Cameron standing between them that kept Fenris still.

"Well, this is a surprise," it was Aveline's voice behind Fenris, her expression a mix of amusement and disappointment.

"What's going on in here?...Cameron Amelia Hawke, what is the meaning of this?" Leandra's gentle voice went shrill as she looked into her daughter's room. Cameron's skin went a whiter shade of pale as she looked in horror at her mother's face.

"It's not what it looks like!" she bit her tongue at the glare her mother gave her.

"It never is," was Aveline's response. Cameron glared at the red head, but the stern look from Leandra chilled her ire. Leandra pointed towards her own bedroom, and suddenly Cameron was ten again and being sent to the time out room to explain _why_ Carver needed that stick broken across his head.

With Cameron gone, Sebastian felt even more exposed with Aveline's cold stare and Fenris's murderous expression. He backed away, only turning when he reached the pile of his clothes. He dressed quickly under the glacial scrutiny of the Guard-Captain of Kirkwall. Finally decent, he turned to face the firing squad.

"So if it wasn't what it looked like then what was it?" Aveline finally asked.

"Why not ask Fenris?" he deflected. Aveline took a step forward to stand between the two men as Fenris made to pounce.

"I did. He told me to check on Hawke. Now I'm asking you." Sebastian glared a challenge at Fenris.

"At least he did one honorable thing," Sebastian's tone was harsh, baiting. Fenris growled, but didn't lunge.

"I was not the one who took advantage of a near dead Hawke."

"Neither was I! And it should have been you with her last night, not me!" Sebastian bit back the rest of what he wanted to say, but couldn't keep one last scathing remark to himself. "I wasn't the one who ran out a second time."

Humiliation and fury boiled within Fenris. He was blind with rage as he stalked towards Sebastian, pushing Aveline to the side with surprising force. For one brief second, Sebastian feared he would know what Fenris's fist around his heart would feel like. It was the sudden misery that flashed in Fenris's green eyes that made Sebastian contrite. However neither could say anything as the screech from Leandra's room made them all jump.

"You did WHAT?!"


	28. Chapter 27

"How could you _do_ something so reckless?!" Leandra all but screamed. Cameron scuffed the floor with her toe, shrugging.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," she mumbled, not looking into her mother's furious face.

"I've lost two of my children, and you attempt to _kill_ yourself just to talk to some fade spirit? What would I have done if those two men hadn't come by last night? What is going on in that head of yours?" Leandra ranted, pacing the floor in front of her daughter.

Cameron didn't respond, just waited her mother out. She had told her mother a lie; that Sebastian and Fenris had just come by to check on her because she missed the card game. She didn't think her mother's heart could handle the truth. It didn't take long before Leandra's anger turned into relief and she hugged Cameron fiercely.

"_Never_ do that again," she whispered into her daughter's curls. Cameron sighed softly, hugging her mother back.

"Promise."

When mother and daughter finally rejoined their guests, Leandra was all smiles and gratitude. She ushered Fenris and Sebastian into the kitchen, setting them down at the table. Aveline glared hard at Cameron, a silent demand for answers. Cameron shook her head, mouthing "later." Aveline's brows furrowed, but she remained silent.

"For my daughter's heroes, I'm going to make a Ferelden specialty!" Leandra gushed. Fenris started to rise, shaking his head.

"I am not –" he started, but Cameron's hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Nonsense! I mean if you and Sebastian hadn't decided to check on me last night, I'd never have survived," she looked pointedly at the two men. Sebastian had started to say something but thought better of it. Cameron smiled, seeing her point had been made. Fenris on the other hand, still seemed ready to bolt. "Aveline, do you think you could help mother? It seems Fenris needs some healing himself."

"I know my way around a kitchen, Darling, I don't need help. But please Aveline, have a seat! I've missed you terribly since you became Guard-Captain. Regale me with your stories," Leandra declared. Aveline blushed, smiling.

"I doubt my tales constitute regalia," but she sat as Cameron tugged Fenris from the kitchen.

"Hawke," he started after the kitchen door closed behind them. Cameron didn't let him finish. She kissed him hard, holding his face in her hands. It was a quick kiss, and over before he could process what she had done.

"Fenris, I am _so_ grateful for you. And I feel undeservedly lucky to have you by my side. I know what I asked you to do was unfair, but I couldn't trust anyone else," she tugged his head down to press her forehead against his. "Thank you," she whispered. His bare hands twitched to caress her, but he couldn't bring himself to touch her naked arms. Instead he inhaled her soft, comforting scent.

"I am yours," was his simple response. Cameron smiled, pulling back just enough to look into his eyes.

"No, it's the other way around." She cut him off from thinking by kissing his nose, letting her healing spell wash over him. A deep moan reverberated in his throat and he clutched her hips in his hands. His sudden, possessive response was a heady aphrodisiac to Cameron and she melted against him.

"Hawke," his voice was rough, shaky. There was so much he wanted to tell her, but he couldn't find the words. Sensing the silent fear, Cameron pulled away from him painting a smile on her face.

"Go into the kitchen. Mother would be so distraught if you left before she fed you," she turned her back to him, hiding the pain in her eyes. She felt his gaze on her as she ascended the stairs to her bedroom.

Hours later, Cameron stormed from the Viscount's office. She had just sat through another lecture on her reckless behavior, this one from Aveline. She had held her tongue hard between her teeth to keep from prolonging the reprimand. Now all she could taste was iron, and had a strange craving for the Hanged Man's special. She clucked her tongue, stroking her belly.

"If I'm going to feed you that crap, you better stop making me sick or this is going to be a real shitty four months," she muttered with a smile.


	29. Chapter 28

"Seriously, Hawke, how can you eat that shit?" Varric asked while watching Cameron shovel the mystery meat stew into her mouth. "You've been here everyday for a week and that's all you get. You're starting to make me worried."

"Strawberries," Cameron stated, looking up and pushing the now empty bowl away.

"Strawberries?" she nodded, licking her lips.

"I would literally kill for some." Varric's eyes widened as he stared at the mage.

"You know something, I really believe you would." Cameron rose from the table. "Where are you going?"

"Strawberries, Varric." She shook her head as if the answer were obvious. The dwarf rolled his eyes.

"Of course, how silly of me." Cameron laughed, blowing a kiss to him before slipping from the room. Varric leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers in front of him. Isabela entered behind her and plopped into Cameron's vacated seat.

"What was that all about?" the pirate asked, stealing Varric's pint. Too used to the Rivani's antics, he didn't care. He shook his head.

"Strawberries apparently." Isabela cocked a brow.

"Well that's not weird."

Cameron was happily humming as she walked back to her estate, a hand absently caressing the small bump that had begun to show. Apparently, the little one had agreed to Cameron's terms and stopped making her ill. She did however have horrible taste in food combinations that surprised Cameron that the choices themselves didn't make her sick.

"Enchantment!" Cameron smiled when she heard Sandal's bright voice, but her eyes rolled at the grating voice of her uncle.

"No! Leandra. .Dra. where is she?"

"She's not here Messer," Bodahn tried to explain. Just then, Gamlen caught sight of her.

"Is your mother feeling well?" Cameron arched a brow at his harsh tone.

"I'm tempted to say no, just to see what you'd say." Gamlen glared at her.

"Don't get smart with me, Whelp. If she's not here, then where is she? She was supposed to meet me for dinner."

"Perhaps she is with her suitor?" Bodahn hesitantly spoke up. Gamlen turned on the dwarf.

"What suitor? She never mentioned anyone."

"Well, those white lilies were delivered this morning."

"White lilies...?" a cold chill ran down her spine. "I know something about that." The tremor in her voice sent Gamlen on edge.

"What are you going on about?" he asked, stalking towards her. Wide, nervous eyes met his.

"There's a killer in Kirkwall. He sends white lilies to his…his victims," she managed. Gamlen stumbled back a step, shaking his head.

"No, not Leandra. No. She just went a different way and I missed her. She's probably at my house as we speak."

"We can always hope," Cameron whispered. Her uncle turned to the door, wiping his forehead of the nervous sweat that began to bead.

"I'm going to go back, see if she shows up," he left, not bothering to shut the door behind him. Cameron stood in the hall, staring after him. Bodahn gently touched her hand, bring her attention to him.

"If you wish to search, Sandal and I will remain here. For when she comes back." Cameron gave him a tiny smile, nodding before she left as well.

She had no idea how long her mother had been missing, but the wiggling fear in the pit of her stomach was screaming for action. She could only pray she had time. There was only one other thought in her head, and she ran to the decrepit mansion for her strength.

Sebastian was on his way to the Hanged Man for their scheduled card game. He caught sight of Cameron running hell bent towards Fenris's mansion. He only glimpsed her face for a second, but the potent fear there sent him following.

Fenris had just finished sharpening his sword and was running a polishing rag over the curved blade when the front door burst open. He was up in a flash, his markings glowing brightly. He rushed from his study to meet his unexpected guest. It was Cameron, her face flushed and breathing heavily. Sebastian was not far behind.

"Hawke?" Both men asked simultaneously. She shook her head, unable to catch her breath after her mad dash. Angrily she pulled her dagger and slipped it into her robes, slicing the bodice strings so she could breathe, heedless of the blade cutting into her skin.

"Mother. Missing. White lilies," she managed between gasps. The two men shared a look, understanding her fear completely.

"Where was she seen last? We should start there," Sebastian said, already turning to leave.

"Lowtown. She was going to see Gamlen," Cameron answered, her breathing finally under control.

"Then so shall we," Fenris stated, gripping Cameron's elbow and steering her back out the door.

"Did you see her or not?!" They heard Gamlen's irksome voice from the stairs leading into Lowtown.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn'." it was a young boy who answered; clearly not interested in Gamlen's shit.

"Listen you little –" Cameron brushed past her uncle, pushing him away roughly. "Hey!" Cameron smiled at the boy, bending down to get closer to his eye level.

"Perhaps you'd be willing to tell me?" she purred at the boy, unintentionally mimicking Isabela perfectly. The boy swallowed, his eyes trapped on her clearly loose breasts.

"Wha' do I get iffin I did?" he asked Cameron's chest. She clenched her jaw, but kept her smile. Standing back up, she pulled a sovereign from her coin purse. The boy's eyes widened, seeing something more enticing then cleavage.

"She was here alrigh' headin' down aways." He pointed towards Gamlen's hovel. "But then this man came an' fell down righ' in front of her. I remember cuz it was funny. He was all covered in blood an' askin' for help. Lea-waz-her name helped him up, an' they wen' that way." He pointed off towards the docks and foundry. Cameron followed the boy's finger, absently flicking the coin to him. He didn't thank her before taking the money and running.

"Never thought I'd be cursing mother's helpful nature," Cameron muttered, moving in the direction the boy indicated.

"You're not going to take that little shit's word are you?" Gamlen sneered.

"If the man was bleeding, perhaps there is a trial we could follow?" Fenris asked, ignoring him. Sebastian was already moving past them, his trained eyes on the cobble stones.

"There!" the archer pointed to a small dark splotch farther ahead. Hopeful, Cameron dashed after him completely forgetting her uncle.

"You go on, I'll just, I'll just wait for her…" Gamlen gave up, waving his arms in frustration as no one paid him any heed.

Sebastian led the way through the back streets, pointing out the blood trail to his companions. Cameron could barely see the stains in the dark and trusted that Sebastian knew what he was doing. The trail led them to an abandoned factory in the foundry district. Looking up at the familiar building, the knot of fear tightened in her belly.

"Isn't this…?" Fenris began to ask, and Cameron nodded.

"Same place we found the bones all those years ago," her voice trembled, but her steps were strong as she ran up the stairs into the factory. They didn't get far before they were ambushed by shades. Cameron swallowed her fear – where there were demons, there were blood mages.

Sebastian backed himself deeper into the warehouse, taking careful aim into the midst of flames and steel. His arrows always flew true, each time missing his elven companion to strike deep into spectral matter. Suddenly a spirit of rage burst up from the ground in front of him. The rogue easily back stepped out of range of its clumsy strike, however the floor beneath his feet gave way and he fell down into darkness. The last thing he heard before a stone step robbed him of consciousness was Cameron screaming his name over the roar of the rage demon.

He felt a sort of tickle at the back of his head and opened his eyes. He looked up into relieved blue eyes. Cameron was leaning over him, smiling.

"Welcome back," she murmured, helping him sit up. Sebastian rubbed the back of his head where the tingle had been the strongest. His fingers came back sticky with clotting blood. "I've got to question your tracking technique, but I can't fault its results." At his confused look, Cameron smiled. "A hidden trap door. You kinda stumbled on it. Literally it seems."

"Hawke!" it was Fenris calling from a passage farther down. The urgency in his tone had Cameron running. As soon as she entered the room, the stench of lye drove her to gag. She just barely managed to swallow the bile that forced its way up. It was only a minute before she saw what had concerned Fenris. In a dark corner, the body of a woman could barely be seen.

"Mother?!" Cameron dashed to the body; hoping it wasn't, praying she wasn't too late. The body was already stiff when she turned it. Empty eye sockets stared up at Cameron and despite herself, she sighed with relief. "Alessa."

"Why would someone take her eyes?" Sebastian asked, his voice strained.

"We're just going to have to ask him now, won't we?" Cameron couldn't tell anymore if she was angry or frightened, but she had to keep moving. She might not be too late for Leandra.


	30. Chapter 29

His name had been Quentin. He had been deliriously in love. He had pieced her together from memory; hands, eyes, skin and finally her face. Cameron shuddered at the memory of his patch-work bride with her mother's face. She pulled her legs tighter against her chest as a chill that had nothing to do with the water she sat in traveled through her body.

She didn't fully remember how she got home. Didn't even know how she got into the now cold bath. She vaguely remembered strong hands pulling her away from her mother. She barely remembered slapping at those hands, unfazed by metal slicing into her flesh.

Fenris paced the length of his mansion, shaking a broken fist for the adrenaline. He had broken it somewhere along the wall he now strode by. He was trying to block the memories of just a few hours ago. But he couldn't forget how the smile she had faked for her mother slowly fell; couldn't stop seeing her carefully placed mask crack. He could still hear her piercing keen. It had been nothing like the deep roads, and the fear he had back then was ten fold as he had watched her rock the corpse.

He had broken Cameron's death grip on her mother, fought her clawing hands to bleeding. Only after Leandra's face was no longer in her sight, did Cameron calm. She had pulled into herself, hugging her abdomen. Tears had rained from her eyes while she muttered incoherently. With her in his arms, fleeing was the only thing he could think to do.

By the time Fenris kicked her front door, she was silent and limp in his arms. He had gently placed her in the older dwarf's arms; there was no need to explain anything. With tears welling in his eyes, Bodahn had carried her through the house to her room. Feeling helpless and useless, Fenris had returned to his home. He spilt his frustration out on the walls, slamming his fist into the stone over and over again even after he heard the bones crack.

"Fenris?" Sebastian called his name from the open doorway. The elf stopped his pacing, but didn't turn. He heard the rogue walk into the room, stepping up behind him. "Why are you here?"

"I live here."

"Why aren't you with Hawke?" Fenris felt the spark of anger from his friend, finally turning to face him.

"I brought her home. She is with Bodahn –"

"That wasn't what I asked!" Fenris blinked at the venom in Sebastian's normally calm voice. "She needs you right now, Fenris." the elf scowled, shaking his head and returning to his pacing.

"I am the last thing she needs." Sebastian snorted.

"If that's truly what you believe, than I have greatly misjudged your intelligence." Fenris growled, turning back to face Sebastian. "She needs _your_ strength to lean on. I would be there right now if I were in your place."

"And what place is that?" Fenris hissed. Sebastian shook his head.

"The one you keep running from. Pray that she doesn't find another to replace you with. For there are plenty who would jump at the chance," he turned then, striding from the derelict mansion. Fenris let Sebastian's words stew for a minute before his feet took him back to the mage's door.

Orana had finally convinced a near catatonic Cameron to leave the tub. The loyal elven girl had dried and dressed Cameron. Now she sat at Cameron's desk, softly strumming a lute. The mage sat on her bed, gently hugging her tummy while she listened with closed eyes.

Fenris stood outside her bedroom, listening. He didn't know what to say to her; didn't know what to do. Finally he gathered his courage and opened the door. Orana glanced up from her playing and seeing him she stood, gently laying the lute back in its case. She slipped from the room closing the door behind her, effectively locking Fenris in. He shuffled from foot to foot. Cameron wasn't saying anything, but she finally opened her eyes to look at him.

"I am here," he started, but lost his thoughts. Cameron stared at him with puffy, red rimmed eyes. She held her hand out to him, silently asking him closer. He obeyed, sitting on the end of her bed. They sat in silence, Cameron watching him fidget under her scrutiny. Finally she spoke softly, her voice hoarse from crying.

"I'm still me, Fenris." His eyes shot to her face, unsure if she could read his thoughts. She gave him a wane smile. "Your fear is a potent thing. I can see it written across your face." He looked away from her guiltily. "It's ok. I mean, if I had your experiences I'd be afraid too," she sighed softly, feeling a new wave of tears build up. She pushed them aside, so tired of crying. She closed her eyes, letting her head fall back with a soft thump on the headboard. "Just…say something. Anything."

"They say death is but a journey," he said after a moment. "Does that help?" Cameron shook her head, looking at him quizzically.

"Not really. It just leads to more questions. A journey to _where_?" Fenris shrugged, flexing his broken hand. The indistinct pop of tendons sliding across fractured bones drew Cameron's attention.

"It's just something people say," he muttered, looking up when he felt the bed shift beneath him. Cameron had finally moved, finding something productive to focus on. She crawled over to sit beside him.

"It's broken," she stated the obvious after a cursory glance at the purple-black swollen skin. "May I?" she asked, holding her hand over his. Fenris swallowed, but gave a curt nod. His other hand clenched in the blankets beside his leg. He closed his eyes as the sweet touch of her magic mingled with the odd sensation of his bones realigning in a numbed state. Cameron laid her hand on top of his newly healed one, lining her fingers up over his.

"Does it hurt?" she whispered curling her body against his side. Fenris's heart thudded inside his chest at her proximity so soon after the rush of her magic. It took his brain a moment to register her question.

"Does what hurt?" he finally managed. She laid her head on his shoulder.

"Me. My magic. Does it hurt? You barely ever let me heal you with it." He closed his eyes, not sure how to answer her.

"It is…different," he settled on. "It doesn't hurt, but it's…_unnerving_, distracting." Cameron pulled back, looking up at him quizzically. He shrugged in response. He wasn't about to explain _how_ it was distracting. Realizing she wasn't going to get more from him, she settled herself against him again.

"I can respect that, I guess." She was quiet for awhile. Fenris began to relax next to her when she spoke again. "Fenris, have you ever thought about family?" Her question brought the tension back into his spine. He had not thought about his family since that night with her so many months before.

"No. The memories of my past are gone." His voice was hard, and he felt Cameron flinch before she pulled away from him again. She turned away, the hand that had been on his now resting on her stomach.

"That's not…I mean…never mind," the tears were beginning to fall again. Fenris's hand twitched to wipe them away, but he remained still. "Mother was hoping for grandchildren. With Carver and Bethany gone, it was going to be up to me," she laughed sadly. "She'll never see…" Cameron hiccupped on a sob, falling over on to her side. She pulled herself into a ball, and Fenris felt a stabbing pain of emotion in his stomach. He hated seeing her like this. Reason fled, and he curled himself around the whimpering mage. He said nothing as he held her, for there was nothing to say.


	31. Chapter 30

Fenris held the small bundle in his arms. A tiny hand reached up and tugged on a stray strand of white hair. He smiled down at the little girl, who mimicked his smile. Cameron watched father and child from her seat on the bed, content. Fenris looked up at her in awe, but before he could speak the scene froze in place.

"**You look very happy here**." Cameron's head snapped towards the doorway. Ādara stood there, leaning casually against the jam.

"Well this isn't expected. I've never seen you in my dreams before." Ādara smiled sadly.

"**I know. I find it to be an …unhealthy practice. If I remain aloof, then I feel no building desire to see the mortal realm. It is better for the both of us that way.**" Sadness spread across Ādara's face. "**You've seen how that turns out**." Cameron nodded, not needing further explanation.

"But why are you here now?" Ādara glanced at the stilled image of Fenris before walking into the bedroom. She sat on the end of the bed.

"**I have a message.**" Cameron sat up straighter, curious eyes on her twin. "**She has made it to your family. She was momentarily lost, but safe now.**" Cameron closed her eyes; the tears that began to build were ones of relief twinged with sorrow. "**She wanted you to know, that it wasn't your fault.**" Cameron's attention snapped back to her spirit. Ādara smiled faintly.

"You saw her?" Cameron squeaked. Ādara nodded. "Did you lead her through?" again, Ādara nodded. Cameron sighed with relief and smiled at her image. "Thank you."

"**No need to thank me. I was just caring for my charges. I really couldn't risk a repeat performance of your swimming technique.**" Cameron laughed, shaking her head.

"No worry there. I think I've died more than enough for one lifetime." It was Ādara's turn to laugh.

"**Indeed, Little Bird, indeed.**" They sat in silence for a moment, watching the unbridled joy on dream Fenris's face.

"**Leandra knew, you know. That you are pregnant.**" Cameron gasped, turning wide eyes on Ādara. "**'A mother always knows.' She said. She also wanted me to tell you, you will be a wonderful mother. But of course that is obvious.**" Ādara smiled at her mage. "**You do what you believe is right, even if the choice seems wrong. That is true honor.**" Ādara stood, striding to the door. "**You will wake soon. Just remember, you did what was right. And that love and honor is your strength in these trying times. I will always be with you.**"

The room shifted around Cameron, fading to grey. She drifted back into consciousness, aware of a strong arm draped across her, resting just beneath her breasts. A hard body softened with sleep pressed against her back. Hot breath tickled the hairs at the back of her neck and the soft spiced scent of him wrapped around her. She sighed softly, relaxing in his embrace. Being in his arms felt safe, comfortable, and _right_. Despite everything that happened, right now Cameron was happy. She closed her eyes, willing this feeling to last.


	32. Chapter 31

"_Please don't leave me..." _

Fenris ran that morning over again in his mind. Her plaintive whisper as he had begun to pull away captured his heart in a vice grip. He couldn't deny her anymore than he could stop his pounding heart.

"Copper for your thoughts," the husky purr was breathed into his ear. Fenris clenched his jaw and opened his eyes to glare at the pirate who slid into the chair beside him. Isabela laughed. "Hmm, with that kind of reaction maybe I should up my offer."

"Not enough gold in Thedas," was his growled reply.

"What are you buying?" Merrill asked, walking in on his response. Fenris clenched his jaw, turning his head to the door, ignoring the young woman.

"Nothing, Kitten. He's not buying anything," Isabela answered, patting the seat next to her for the Dalish mage to sit.

"Then why are you talking about gold?" Merrill took the offered seat. Isabela shook her head, smiling.

"A figure of speech, Kitten." Merrill cocked her head in confusion.

"I don't think I've heard that one before."

"I told you, Blondie, I don't know what's up with Hawke, alright? I got the same message as you," Varric grumbled as he entered the common room, Anders close on his heels.

"Surely you've been keeping an eye on her. You have to know how she is," the Warden mage whined. Varric rolled his eyes.

"Hawke's been holed up good and tight these last couple of days. She hasn't been letting anyone in –"

"Except Broody over here," Isabela interrupted, gesturing to Fenris as she leaned back in her chair, grinning. All eyes turned to him, and he glared harder at the pirate. Isabela simply cocked a brow at his stare. Varric dropped into the seat at the head of the table.

"How's she doing?" he asked sincerely. At his genuine concern, Fenris sighed and closed his eyes.

"She is…adapting," he finally answered. Anders scowled at him, slumping into the chair on Varric's right.

"What does that mean?" he hissed. Fenris turned his hard, challenging gaze on the mage, but before he could speak Cameron's voice flitted through the bar.

"Because I promised, Sebastian."

"I understand that, Hawke –"

"Then why are we having this conversation?" All eyes turned to the two approaching figures. They all let out a figurative breath of relief when they saw Cameron as bouncy and spirited as ever. She smiled at her friends, taking the still vacant seat next to Fenris. Sebastian sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Hawke, I just think you should be more careful. That's all," he mumbled, finding a seat next to Merrill.

"I'm always careful, Sebastian, you know that," she responded dryly. "Besides, you'll be there to watch my back, unless I'm reading this concern for my well being wrong." Sebastian glared at her tight lipped, as if to say 'try and stop me.'

"Well, what exactly have you promised that's got a bee stuck in Choir Boy's britches?" Isabela asked, sliding a pint to Cameron. Her wording was rewarded with an amused snort from Cameron. Sebastian's jaw twitched and Cameron pushed the pint to him in apology.

"I'm not going to lie and say he's over reacting," She had everyone's undivided attention. "It's going to be a long and hard trip –" Isabela's chortle interrupted her, and Cameron just rolled her eyes, smiling. She had missed this. "Seriously, Bela. I'm looking for volunteers. And I want to reiterate, this is voluntary."

"Just spit it out already, Hawke!" Varric piped up, getting impatient for the news. Cameron let out an exasperated sigh.

"I've been asked to search for a couple of missing brothers."

"And what's the catch, Sweet thing?" Isabela asked when Cameron didn't continue.

"The catch is they went missing in the Deep Roads," Sebastian answered for her. Fenris stiffened visibly next to her, turning confused and worried eyes on her. Varric gaped at her.

"You have got to be kidding," Varric finally stated, voicing everyone's thoughts. Cameron shook her head.

"They went down looking for any treasure we might have missed. They followed _our_ route. They're down there because of us. It's the absolute least I can do." Her tone brooked no argument. "Like I said before, this is voluntary. I don't expect any of you guys to go running into the Deep Roads just cuz I made a promise to a worried father."

"Now that's just cold, Hawke. Playing the sympathy card?" Isabela quipped. Cameron shrugged. Isabela smirked, shaking her head.

"I'll go," Anders stated reluctantly. "It's been nearly five years since the Blight, you'll need a Grey Warden to warn you of any darkspawn." Anders was rewarded with a bright smile. Fenris clenched his jaw at the look of adoration on the abomination's face. He was not about to let Anders go unsupervised into close quarters with _his_ mage. He spoke up before his brain could process his thoughts.

"You have my sword," he said, leaning in to Cameron; staking his claim. Cameron's cheeks flushed a soft pink and she gave Fenris a shy smile.

"As tempting as it sounds, I'm not too keen on trekking into the bowels of the earth," Isabela stated, taking a swig from the passed around and forgotten pint.

"I'm with Rivani. I'll be stiff and cold before I venture into that shit hole again," Varric voiced, ignoring the glare he was getting from Sebastian. Merrill shrunk into herself, hoping Cameron wouldn't notice her.

"Merrill, honey? You ok? You look a little blue around the gills," Cameron asked, dashing Merrill's hope.

"I…I don't think…" Cameron smiled reassuringly.

"It's ok, Sweety. This is totally voluntary. I'm not going to be mad if you say you don't want to." The young elf let out her held breath.

"Really?"

"Really. Four's good enough anyway. We had one less the last time," Cameron's smile didn't touch her eyes, but Merrill didn't notice in her relief.

Fenris, however, did notice. Beneath the table, his hand squeezed her knee.


	33. Chapter 32

Fenris was not happy. It wasn't the stifling heat and the claustrophobic tunnels, or even the fact that the abomination was actually proving to be useful that was affecting him poorly; it was the near imperceptible shifts in Cameron's demeanor the deeper into the earth they went.

They were small changes. After the first day in, she didn't smile as much. It was easily explained with the drastic shift in temperature, as was the slouching in her posture after the second day. By the fourth day, she barely spoke to anyone. But the most telling, and most painful for Fenris, was the shadow that darkened her mirthful eyes.

Anders had given up on idle chatter after the third day. The only other person who didn't seem effected by the heat was that damndable mage-hating elf. Every time he had tried to explain his situation with the former slave, the man would snarl back with some petty grievance. Anders had finally decided that he would remain silent and watch the sway of Cameron's hips as she led the way. Unfortunately this decision prompted Justice to whisper in the back of his skull.

"**_She sings so beautifully. The song grows louder. Soon the lyrics will caress all her mortal flesh. Touch her. Touch her. Touch her."_**

Oh how he wanted to give into that demand, but the memory of the last time he succumbed stayed him.

Sebastian had never been in the Deep Roads before, and had assumed the tales Varric had spun regarding the inhospitable nature of the caves to surface dwellers was simple exaggeration. Now he regretted that assumption. After a single day below, he had to remove his armor. The third day down he was sorely tempted to strip down to just his breeches, but pride kept him miserable. Both Anders and Fenris showed no signs of discomfort from the heat.

Why had she agreed to come down here again? She hated it down here; the stale air, the heat, the memories. Maker, but it was the memories she hated the most. Each step deeper was a twist on the vice around her heart. Not even the comforting presence of Fenris helped this time.

She couldn't stand walking anymore. The heat sapped her strength, and her nurturing nature prevented her from continuing on after a single look at Sebastian and Bean. She would just have to avoid that scorched section of tunnel.

"Anders, what are you feeling?" she asked, breaking the silence that had descended upon them. Not even missing a beat, Anders smirked.

"About 110 degrees. Give or take," his joke earned him a tired smile.

"Really? I thought it was closer to two." She responded.

"A common misconception with the lack of air flow. But seriously, I don't sense any darkspawn. We should be good to make camp here." Cameron nodded, dropping her pack to the cavern floor.

Fenris knew where they were. Concern had had him dreading this location. She tried to be strong, but Fenris had seen her pain first hand.

He knelt by her side, placing a hand over hers as she pulled at the straps holding her sleeping roll. Her movements stilled, but he could feel the slight tremor in her hand.

"Hawke," he began quietly. She turned wide, shimmering eyes to his, and his words were momentarily lost. She shook her head, blinking away that glimpse of vulnerability, and smiled half heartedly at him.

"Fenris, I've got an inkling of what you're going to say. But don't. You and Anders may be able to move on, but the rest of us can't. Especially not if we do run into something down here," she licked her lips, and twisted her hand in his so that she could hold it. "I can't think about it. So please, just let it be."

Fenris swallowed, staring deep into her pleading eyes. Oh how he wanted to hold her; to take her in his arms and carry her away from these torments. Instead he nodded, gently slipping his gauntleted hand from hers.

"Rest, then. I will take the first watch."

Anders had propped himself against the far wall watching Cameron and the elf. His expression remained neutral, though he seethed on the inside.

_Maker-forsaken, hypocritical, son of a warf rat! What in flames does she see in him?_

**_She hears the song played on the broken lute._**

_What is that supposed to mean?_

**_Her song is getting stronger. Can you feel it? All those potions…all that magic. We should touch her. We should play the lute of her—_**

_That's enough! Thanks to you the only person who's gonna "play her like a lute" is that whoreson—_

"Anders?" Sebastian's voice interrupted his silent dialogue. Glancing up at the Chantry brother's concerned expression, Anders assumed that wasn't the first time the priest had called him. Pasting on a carefree smile, he turned his attention towards the other man.

"Yes?"

Sebastian, more astute than he was often given credit for, kept to his initial line of questioning.

"We're breaking down the watches. Preferably we would like to stick to two by two. Fenris has volunteered for the first watch. Would you like to stand with him, or with Hawke?" It was clear the question was simply asked for propriety's sake.

"I'll take the second watch." Sebastian nodded, not at all surprised. Anders watched as Sebastian retreated from his presence, to let the others know his obvious answer.

Anders hid his smirk behind a hand at the murderous expression on the elf's face, but no one looked his way. He was a little disappointed that Cameron hadn't even glanced towards him, but pleased she had apparently dismissed the other two with a simple nod and turned her attention back to her pack.

Cameron was too miserable for any kind of small talk with anyone. She did feel bad about her less than cordial attitude with everyone, especially Sebastian. The poor man had never been in the Deep Roads and his first experience was with two men that despised each other and a despondent woman who barely said more than ten words in a given day. She knew she had to make it up to him, and to the rest of them. But not today.

Bean was given a bowl of ice water, frozen with magic and his share of the evening meal. The mabari wolfed down the food quickly, and then slumped next to the cold water bowl. Before she ate anything, she went about the task of warding the camp; there were more than just darkspawn in the tunnels after all.

Finally happy that everyone was fed and reasonably safe, Cameron took to her bedroll. Tomorrow would be better. Tomorrow would have to be better.


	34. Chapter 33

Cameron was confused; she didn't know where she was at first. An unbearable heat stirred her from the bedroll. Blinking through a haze, she got a glimpse of movement in the corner of the tunnel. Something familiar about the shape kept her from calling out to the others.

She watched as the shape slowly came closer; into focus. Her eyes widened; her heart slammed against her chest. She didn't want to see the thing that shuffled towards her.

"Not a pretty sight, is it?" he asked, his voice rough and harsh from the burns along his throat. She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut.

"LOOK AT ME!" he screamed, suddenly next to her. Charred and still hot hands gripped her arms, shaking her painfully. "You did this to me! You did! You selfish, miserable bitch! We could have made it. We could have gotten home. You could have helped me. Instead you shoved a dagger in my heart!"

"Carver, no…" she whimpered, tears blurring her vision of his burnt visage. "I couldn't…"

"Couldn't? Couldn't what? Couldn't let me keep you from glory? Couldn't let me drag you down? A poor pathetic warrior holding back the all powerful mage Hawke, is that it?" she shook her head, her voice catching in her throat.

"You took my dreams. You took my _life_. And now, sweet sister, I'll take yours."

It was eerily quiet, the knife sliding into her belly. She felt numb, staring into her brother's vacant eyes.

Then he twisted it.

The pain hit suddenly, blindingly. She screamed, clutching at the blade imbedded and twisted in her gut.

"Hawke! Hawke!" It was Fenris's voice; so far away, yet so close. Her brother's hands were no longer on her. Instead she was held gently with strong, lyrium laced fingers. The hazy corridor dissipated, and the eyes she looked up into were not the hollowed eyes of her brother's phantom.

Her fear faded; the pain subsided. She pulled him close, burying her head into his shoulder. He held her tightly, saying nothing, just stroking her hair as she cried against his chest.

* * *

><p>"Mmm…yes, just like that," Anders murmured, his fingers tangled in her silvery curls as Cameron knelt before him. She looked up at him, his cock slipping from her mouth; her hot breath teasing the wet head of his shaft.<p>

"Please," she pleaded, her hand stroking him. "I can't stand it anymore. I need you inside me," she begged, leaning back and tearing her bodice open. Her breasts spilled free from the tight confines of her satin robe. Anders groaned, taking in the sight before him.

"Who am I to refuse such a request?" He replied, pushing her back to the floor.

Justice sneered, and slipped further into the Fade. The mage's hesitance would keep them both from getting what they desired. The mage might be content with false dreams and empty promises, but not him.

He would get her back. And he would get her in her mage's lyrium lined body.

The grey haze surrounding him shifted to the red rock caverns of the Deep Roads. He paused for a moment. Anders had not awakened. Where was he?

He was assaulted with terror laced with self-loathing.

"Carver, no…" he heard her whimper. "I couldn't…"

Justice smiled. Her mage was in trouble. She would come.

He watched the drama unfold before him; the mage's self-hate screaming at her, stabbing her. Still she did not come.

Justice howled his rage as he was yanked roughly back into the limbo of the mage's waking mind. Why had she not come?

* * *

><p>"How are you able to stand this heat?" Sebastian asked, unable to stand the silence anymore. Fenris shrugged, his eyes scanning the shadows.<p>

"I am…accustomed to hardships," he finally responded. Sebastian shook his head, unable to appreciate the life he must have lived.

"Have you considered my offer?" he asked the elf, trying desperately to start a more pleasant conversation. Fenris glanced at the other man, a dark brow raised.

"To join you in Starkhaven?" Sebastian nodded. "I have thought on it," he stated, but said nothing more as his eyes fell on the sleeping form of Cameron. Sebastian's lips turned up into a half smile.

"But you are needed here. With her," they were not questions. Sebastian himself was torn between doing his duty and staying with the lovely mage. Fenris didn't respond, there was no need.

Cameron shifted on her bed roll, a whimper passing her lips. Bean rose up, cocking his head to the side as he watched his mistress. She curled into herself, mumbling indistinctly.

Fenris clenched his jaw, watching. Bean moved closer, butting his head against her back and whining softly. She did not stir from the gentle nudging. The mabari looked towards Fenris as if asking for him, but the sudden scream from Cameron had everyone jumping.

"Hawke! Hawke!" Fenris was at her side, griping her bare arms, tugging her upright. Unfocused eyes stared up at him and a sliver of misery edged its way into his heart at the look of horrified pain in those cerulean eyes.

"Maker! What the flames…" Anders struggled up from his bed roll, grabbing at his staff. Sebastian waved him down.

"It's alright. Everything's fine," Sebastian answered, hoping that voicing the statement would make it true.

Cameron had buried her head into the crook of Fenris's shoulder, her muffled sobs barely audible. Bean bumped his head against her arm, whimpering softly.


	35. Chapter 34

It had all been worth it, Cameron thought as she soaked in the warm bath. As bittersweet as the family reunion was, it could have only been made possible with her and her friends. The look of gratitude on the dwarves' faces was a balm on her tired heart.

Cameron sighed, sinking just a bit deeper into the warm water. It was near heavenly to be home after a fort night on the road. Her little one was still tiny, barely noticeable even when naked, but she was a spit fire on Cameron's ribs. It seemed the only time, the baby settled down, was when Cameron was soaking in the tub.

With her mood considerably raised, she began contemplating how she was going to make it up to her friends that made the trip with her.

* * *

><p>Isabela woke to a rhythmic tapping on the wall near her bed. She missed the first part of the message, but what she did catch had her heart pounding against her chest.<p>

_Trade tonight. Foundry district._

She had waited years for this news. Tonight she would finally be free of Kirkwall and Castillion. She was too excited to dwell on the fact, that she wasn't actually happy about it.

* * *

><p>Aveline pinched the bridge of her nose to try and stop the headache that was building behind her eyes. It was bad enough the guardsman was murdered <em>before<em> she had finished her investigation on him, but now his killers had made good their escape into the Qunari compound.

_Converts my ass_.

The guard captain rose from her desk. She had been waiting for this for years, and dreading its arrival. Now that the day had come, there was nothing to do but step up and put a stop to it.

* * *

><p>Cameron was drying her hair when the commotion began downstairs. She shook her head smiling when she heard the distinct purr and clipped tones of Isabela and Aveline. Based on the volume of their voices, Cameron headed to the main room to prevent the inevitable violence.<p>

"This is important. Don't interrupt with your selfish prattle," Aveline hissed at the pirate. Isabela simply glared, waving a dismissive hand in her direction.

"Get off your high horse. I've got problems too." Aveline sneered.

"What drink should I order and who's the father?"

"Why you little…" Isabela moved towards the guard captain with her hand pulled back for a strike.

"Are there any good seats left?" Cameron spoke up, easily distracting both women from their previous insults. Aveline turned her attention to Cameron, pointedly ignoring the pirate.

"Hawke, the Arishok is sheltering two fugitives who have _converted_ to the Qun," how much she believed it was a genuine reformation was evident in her tone. "He must be convinced to release them. After what happened with Petrice…" she sighed. "If people start to believe they are above the law…I need your help, Hawke. _Before_ this gets out of hand."

"I'm going to die!" Isabela jumped in. "There, have I got your attention now?" Cameron could already tell this was not going to be an easy night.

"I heard Arishok and die. Please to be explaining further."

"You remember the relic? A man named Wall-eyed Sam has it. If we can get it back, Castillion won't kill me."

"I am trying to keep the entire city from rioting against the Qunari," Aveline groused. Shockingly, Isabela appeared contrite as she looked away.

"Well, it might be connected…" Cameron's jaw dropped, and it was Aveline that voiced the question.

"_What_?" Isabela shrugged.

"I'm just saying maybe it will help. It's important to someone…" Aveline shook her head.

"_Now_ you're being responsible…Shit."

Cameron took a deep breath. It was going to be up to her to make a decision.

"Bela, I'm assuming since you've rushed over this evening, that this Wall-eye will _not_ be in possession of the relic for much longer?" At the pirate's nod, Cameron turned to Aveline. "I'm also assuming that one more night is not going to break this fragile peace we've managed?" Aveline sighed, pursing her lips in displeasure.

"No."

"So it's decided. Tonight we deal with Wall-eye and then in the morning we'll take a trip to the docks."

"I knew you wouldn't let me down!" Isabela grinned like a loon, rushing up and hugging Cameron tight. Aveline just shook her head.

"I will prepare orders for a contingent to accompany us tomorrow morning. I hope this decision does not cost us in the end."

"You worry too much. What could _possibly_ go wrong?" Cameron inquired, squeezing free of Isabela's embrace.

"You do realize that every time you say that something inevitably goes wrong, right? Just be ready to leave in the morning." Aveline didn't bother to wait for a reply before she left the mansion.

* * *

><p><em>I'm sorry…<em>

Cameron was still furious as she paced the main room of her estate. It had been hours since Isabela had made off with the Qunari Tome leaving the hastily written apology on Wall-eyed Sam's corpse.

It wasn't even the fact that she took the tome that had so infuriated Cameron. It was the fact that she had lied to Cameron's face.

_"Fine. You're right. We'll give it back to the Qunari."_

Cameron hadn't wanted a drink this badly in a long time…

* * *

><p>She ran hard along the moon lit coast. If she could get through the Wounded Coast, it was only a day's travel to Ostwick.<p>

Only a day. Freedom was only a day a way.

Her pace slowed. The relic in her pack was getting heavier with each step she took away from Kirkwall.

It was only a day…


	36. Chapter 35

Aveline was apprehensive as she followed Cameron through the streets towards the Qunari compound. Despite the fury that was clearly evident in Cameron's stance last night, she seemed her usual spirited self this morning.

It never boded well when Cameron breezed through without a care in the world.

There were no problems for the contingent of guards marching through the city, until they reached the gates that separated the Qunari from the rest of Kirkwall. Aveline took the lead and addressed the gate keeper.

"We are here to see your Arishok."

"Not in this number," The Sten guarding the door responded coldly. Aveline had anticipated the need to reduce her numbers, so took the precaution of having an excess amount of guards. She could appease the Qunari and still have a fair number to back herself and Cameron up.

"Myself, my companion, and three others, is that sufficient?" she replied. The Sten made a cursory glance over the assembled guards and nodded. Moving to the side, he indicated they should enter.

"Well, that was simple enough," Cameron muttered under her breath after they passed through the gate.

"You know as well as I that wasn't the hard part," Aveline bit back. Cameron grinned ruefully while sauntering ahead of Aveline to be the first in the Arishok's attention.

"Shenadon," The Arishok greeted them, there was a menacing air about him as he stood at the top of the stairs, a battle axe resting on his shoulder. Aveline refused to show the unease his posture brought and marched purposefully towards him.

"Greetings Arishok, we have come in regards to the elven fugitives that took refuge here…"

"Irrelevant. I would speak with Hawke about the relic stolen from my grasp." Cameron took a breath, barely managing to not roll her eyes.

"A certain pirate made off with it," her tone was clipped, but then switched back to her normal cheer. "But don't worry; I plan to find them both." The Arishok's lips turned up into the faintest of smiles as he regarded the mage.

"A truth. And you do not minimize your role in it."

"An issue for another time," Aveline spoke up gruffly. "We're here for the fugitives."

"The elves are now Vidithari. They have chosen to submit by the Qun." Aveline's jaw clenched. This was not going to go well. "They will be protected."

"Have they truly converted, or are they using you as a shield?" Cameron asked lightly, honestly interested. The Arishok turned his eyes to her.

"They have chosen, and so have I. You have seen the corruption in this city, the suffering that is allowed. All to selfishly deny the truth of the Qun. Let us look at your _dangerous_ criminals," as if on queue, two under nourished teen boys stepped into view. "Speak Vidithari. Who did you murder, and why?" The older of the two boys moved forward.

"A city guardsman forced himself on our sister. We reported him, or at least we tried to. They did nothing, so _we _paid him a visit."

"That doesn't excuse murder!" Aveline argued. Cameron arched a brow.

"Are these boys telling the truth?" The Guard Captain glared at her.

"There were rumors. I was investigating it. It still doesn't justify them taking the law into their hands!"

"Sometimes that is necessary," The Arishok spoke up. Aveline's glare turned to him.

"Like how you avenged the Viscount's son? It wasn't right then and it's not right now!"

"Their actions were a symptom. Your city is the disease. The Vidithari has chosen to submit to the Qun. They will find their place that your society has denied them." He replied calmly, though a hint of menance tinted his words.

"You can't just decide that! You _have _to release them to us," Aveline's voice was rising with her frustration. The Arishok studied her for a moment before turning to Cameron.

"Tell me, Hawke, what would _you_ do in my place?"

"Why give up perfectly good converts?" she answered flippantly. Aveline's frustration broiled over towards the mage.

"Hawke! You aren't helping!" she hissed. Cameron turned hard eyes on her friend.

"What? He asked for my opinion and I gave it. Let them go to the Qun. They'll either thrive in a society that will treat them better than they have ever been, or they'll fail and die. Either way, justice is served."

Before Aveline could voice another objection, the Arishok stepped forward.

"I can not leave this city without the relic. And I can not sit blindly to this corruption. There is only one solution." All of Aveline's fears came crashing down around her, and she turned to the Arishok panicked.

"Arishok, please. There's no reason—" He cut her off with a raised hand. Turning away from the group, he said a simple phrase.

"Vinek Kathas."

Almost immediately, spears began falling from the walls above. Aravaads and Stens began rushing the group, weapons slicing through the air. Two guards were not so quick with their defense, and fell quickly to the Aravaads' spears.

Cameron and Aveline each took a role in clearing a path to the gate. Inside the compound they were out numbered and out matched, and they both knew it. Escape at this point, was their only option.

Outside the streets were already a chaotic mess of screaming, smoke, and bodies. It was sheer luck they happened upon Fenris and Sebastian in a relatively calm alcove on the docks.

"Oh, Aveline, how did you know I always wanted to be part of a holy war? And it isn't even my birthday," Cameron quipped as she leaned against the wall to catch her breath.

"We need to get to the barracks. Regroup with the guards. Try to get this under control," the guard captain thought out loud, ignoring the breathless sarcasm from her friend.

"They will most likely head to the keep. They will round up anyone of import," Fenris stated.

"It does seem the most logical thing to do," it was Sebastian piping in, his tone laced with concern as he watched Cameron. Sighing loudly, and pushing herself off the wall, Cameron took the lead.

"Since they're both in the same place, I guess we get to head to Hightown."


	37. Chapter 36

"This is ridiculous!" Cameron yelled out, sending an arching bolt of lightening into a group of Sten. The electrical shock rendered them paralyzed as Aveline swooped in, bashing the closet warrior with her shield sending him sprawling to the ground. Two quick arrows pierced through the chinks in his armor, preventing him from rising again.

"Did you think this was going to be easy?" Aveline fired back, her sword slicing through the gut of another Sten. "I _told _you she wasn't to be trusted!"

"Arg! _Enough_!" Cameron screamed back, a shattering fist of earth slammed into the Sten, a little too close to the Guard-Captain. Aveline shot a glare towards her friend, but the sheer fury radiating from the mage stilled her retort.

"We have to move on," Fenris's cool voice broke over the momentary calm of battle. Cameron closed her eyes, focusing her rage. Aveline was not to blame. Isabela was not to blame. This was not a time to be fighting and bickering amongst themselves. A war was ravaging the streets of their home. That was what mattered. Before Cameron could voice her agreement, a groan turned their attention to a prone robed man. Sebastian knelt down, helping the older elf upright.

"Many thanks, my friend," the man said through gritted teeth. His arm had clearly been broken, and it was all the man could do to stay conscious.

"You're not as badly injured as the others," Cameron began, gently. At the mention of others, the old man searched about frantically.

"The others?!" his own pain forgotten as he stared at the massacre around them. Between the bodies of the invaders, robed figures littered the streets in pools of blood. At the horror surrounding them, he fell to his knees. "Gone. All of them. I – I told them to run."

"First-Enchanter Orsino. You survived," the silent moment of mourning was broken by the clang of armor and the blunt words of the cold mistress in the lead. Cameron's eyes widened as she looked over the contingent of Templars suddenly converging on their small band.

"Your relief overwhelms me, Knight-Commander Meredith," Orsino muttered rising from his knees, the sarcasm dripping from his words as he turned to her. The Knight-Commander ignored him, turning her attention towards Cameron and her companions.

"There is no time for talk. We must strike back, before it's too late," there was no warmth in her voice, just calculated steel. Her ice blue eyes caught and held Cameron's gaze, silently sizing up the smaller woman. Cameron did not back down. Now was not the time to hide; not the time to be concerned about the Templar-Mage rivalry. Now was the time to save their home.

"Agreed. We know they have made their way into the keep, probably barricaded themselves, and the guard in. When we get in, Aveline will rally the guards," Cameron stated assuredly. Her confidence elicited a smirk on the Knight-Commander's withered lips.

"'_When_' you get in? And how exactly do you plan on doing that with two swords, a dog, and a Chantry brother?" The older woman began, casting a judging eye over the group before her. Cameron's jaw tightened. She didn't care who this woman was standing before her, but she would not stand her friends being belittled. Before she spoke, however, Orsino stepped between.

"And just who will lead this charge? You!?" he spat out. Meredith turned her cold gaze on the mage.

"I will fight to defend this city, as I have always done."

"To control it you mean," the venom poured from Orsino's lips with each word. Cameron rolled her eyes. Clucking her tongue in annoyance, she stepped between the two.

"Look, I get that's there's some history between the two of you, but Shut. It. We have an invading army on our doorstep, in our house. Now is not the time for a damn pissing match. We _need_ to work together. You have fire," she said, casting a glance to Orsino. "And you have steel and skill," she directed at Meredith. "Put your skills to use. Blow open the door, keep them distracted, And me, my dog, my Brother and my swords will cut the head off the snake." There was a moment of silence as everyone around gawked at Cameron. Finally, the awed silence was broken by the biting laugh of Meredith.

"Very well. We shall play this as you stated. If you fail, we will be there. If you succeed, I just might overlook your use of magic… Hawke," with that final warning in place, Meredith turned, issuing orders to the Templars behind them. Orsino cast a single appraising look to Cameron, before joining Meredith and the Templars.

"Maker's Breath, Hawke," Aveline exclaimed on the exhalation of her held breath. Her own shock was mirrored in Cameron as she slumped back against Sebastian. "Do you even _know_ how to be humble?"

"Evidently not," Fenris responded, a brow cocked as he watched the closeness between Cameron and Sebastian, trying to push away the niggling feeling of jealousy. Cameron began giggling, releasing the pent up frustration as she pushed off Sebastian.

"Of course, Aveline! Humble is my middle name," she teased, putting her mask of optimism firmly in place.

"I'm pretty sure, Amelia is your middle name," Sebastian quipped back. Cameron stuck her tongue out at him, before smiling and preparing for Meredith and Orsino's knock on the front door.

* * *

><p>Cameron leaned heavily against the banister, her staff growing heavy in her hands. Her plan had worked. Meredith and Orsino pulled the large contingent of Qunari from the keep, giving Cameron and her friends the needed distraction to enter. But it did nothing to pull the Arishok's Honor guard away. Nor did it prepare them for the grisly sight of those that fought, and died, by the invaders' hands.<p>

Sebastian stepped up behind Cameron, a comforting presence. She leaned back on him, grateful for the familiar stance.

"How are you?" He whispered, though his eyes glanced down to her stomach. She smiled, placing a gentle hand on his arm.

"Don't worry about us," she replied just as softly. "I've got quite a few friends looking out for us. But thank you." Her expression hardened as she looked around hall. "This needs to end. Tonight. We are going to have to make a deal with them." Sebastian's brows furrowed, concerned.

"Just how do you expect to deal with them? Look at what they've done." Cameron looked away, blinking back the tears. She had seen so much bloodshed and violence, it was wearing her down. Sebastian sighed, seeing the chink in her armor start to grow. "I'm sorry," he began. Cameron shook her head.

"No. You're right. They have done some terrible things. But the Marchers haven't exactly been innocent either. And we know what started it. And we know what will finish it. You gotta trust me." Sebastian shook his head in defeat.

"I do trust you. _That's_ what worries me." Cameron's tired face lit up with her smile. She didn't need to say anything else as she turned to the large doors of the audience chamber, and the final confrontation.

* * *

><p>The audience chamber was filled with terrified nobles and bruised and bloody guardsman. Cameron led the way through, Bean close to her side. Sebastian took the rear with Fenris and Aveline on either side. She had to come in strong; in charge. She could not show weakness. Her mask of grim determination did not falter. Not even when the Arishok stood before the masses, dropping the severed head of the viscount like yesterday's trash.<p>

"Here is your Viscount," he stated pacing his gaze over the herded nobles.

"You – you dare!? You are starting a war!" a brave, though foolish noble spoke up, his quivering voice giving his fear away. Cameron clenched her jaw, knowing full well what was about to happen, and knowing she could do nothing. The Sten behind the foolish noble simply stepped up, and without warning snapped the man's neck. The gathered nobles cried out, falling farther back along the walls of the chamber.

"Look at you. Like fat dathrasi you feed, and feed, and complain only when your meal is interrupted," the Arishok continued as if no interruption had occurred. "You do not look up. You do not see that the grass is bare. All you leave in your wake is misery. You. Are. Blind. I will make you see." His gaze finally settled on Cameron as she made her way closer. "But we have guests."

Now that she had been seen, Cameron dared to glance around at the gathered masses. To her instant relief she saw among the herded nobility, the rest of her companions. Anders was crouched, bandaging a wounded guardsman. Merrill and Varric were softly murmuring to a group of children who had been unlucky enough to be brought to see the execution. She heard the relieved sigh of Aveline behind her, when the guard-captain saw the bandaged guard was Donnic. That sigh was the only thing the trained solider let slip.

"Shanedan, Hawke. I expected you," The Arishok stated, walking down the steps to meet Cameron. "But for all your might, you are no different from these bas. You do not see."

"On the contrary. I see just fine," Cameron replied, looking up to stare into the Arishok's black eyes. "I see that this madness must end." She did not shy away; she did not blink as she held his imposing gaze.

"Perhaps," he finally responded, stepping back as his honor guard stepped forward. "Prove yourself, basra, or kneel with your brethren." Cameron clenched her jaw, biting back her retort. She would prove herself, and she would end this.

Pulling her staff, she eyed the honor guard as they began circling her and her friends. Without looking, she knew they pulled in, protecting their flank. This dance continued, each side waiting for the other to start. But Cameron didn't play by sword and shield rules. She simply smiled at the Sten in front of her, cocking her head to the side. She began this proving dance with a wink of her eye and a raging storm of fire.

With her distraction in place, Aveline and Fenris shot out of formation, tearing into the Aravaads on either side. Sebastian pulled into the center behind Cameron, raining arrows down upon the Aravaads trying to flank. Cameron's staff twirled around her with flashes and waves of ice striking and hindering the Stens before her. Bean, nimbly dove into combat; always a second after a blast of ice.

They didn't need to speak. Each knew exactly what needed to be done. Each knew the strengths and the weakness of their companions. When Bean was too slow, and a Sten got too close, Aveline rushed in. When Fenris moved too far, when his flank was left open, arrows riddled the Arvaarad. They were a well oiled machine with Cameron at the center.

"Pashara!" the Arishok's voice rose above the din of combat. Those of the honor guard still standing, stepped back. The battle was won. "You are basalit-an after all. Few in this city command such respect." The Arishok strode down the stairs, twirling a wickedly bladed axe. "So tell me, Hawke: You know I cannot withdraw. How would you resolve this conflict?" Cameron bit her tongue, now was not the time to be witty. Straightening up, she looked the Arishok dead in the eye.

"With the book. Once you have it, you can go home. Absolutely nothing is keeping you here beside that, correct?" Aveline looked over at Hawke wide-eyed. They didn't have the relic; the Qunari knew that. She couldn't fathom the bluff Cameron was making, but kept silent.

"The Tome of Koslun," the Arishok snorted, "The same Tome that was ripped from my fingers…and yours," he leered over Cameron, his sheer size and mass dwarfing the young mage. "And how, do you, expect, to find it?" he growled. As if on queue, the door of the audience chamber was thrown open by a stumbling Sten, barely holding his intestines in before falling to the ground.

"I can answer that!" Isabela's confident voice rose over the hushed mutterings her entrance induced. Strolling non-chalantly over the corpse she created, the relic heavy in her hands. She sauntered over to Cameron. "Sorry I'm late; there was a terrible line at the hattery." Cameron smirked taking the tome from her friend.

"Never doubted you for a second," she whispered.

"Bullshit," Isabela muttered back, but a soft blush of color rose on her cheeks.

With tome in hand, Cameron marched up to the imposing figure head. If she didn't know better, she could have sworn she had seen shock in his dark eyes. One of the honor guard stepped forward, taking the book reverently from Cameron.

"With all due respect, Arishok, your business in Kirkwall is complete. There need be no more bloodshed, and you can kindly vacate the premises," she tried so hard, but could not suppress the bit of snark that escaped with her words. But if the Qunari leader caught it, he made no sign of it.

"Yes. The tome we have. Now we shall deal with the thief," his new demand caught everyone off guard.

"Wait, what?" Isabela managed to ask before two large Sten grabbed her, each pulling an arm back, dropping the pirate to her knees. Cameron's glare turned to ice as she spun around to face the Arishok.

"That's not part of the deal," she growled before she could stop herself, but managed to reign her fury in. "The thief stole your tome off the coast of Kirkwall. By rights, her crime was in _our_ jurisdiction. It is _our_ responsibility to see justice is served." Aveline stepped forward, twirling her blood soaked sword as she glared at the trussed rogue.

"And I will take great pleasure in dishing that justice out," Isabela swallowed, a small whimper escaping as she looked into the red head's blistering gaze. The Arishok looked between the three women, finally settling his eyes on Cameron.

"No," was his simple response before turning away. The young mage snarled, stalking towards the retreating giant.

"A duel then. Whoever wins, deals with the thief." She had caught his attention. His horned head tilted as he appraised the small woman.

"A duel?" he asked, clearly intrigued. Jumping on this chance, Cameron stood tall; defiant.

"Winner takes Isabela, and regardless of outcome, You. Leave. Kirkwall."

"Wait! No! If anyone's gonna duel it's gonna be me!" Isabela spoke up struggling against her captors. The Stens pulled harder on her arms, nearly popping her shoulders from their sockets. She whimpered in pain, no longer struggling.

"You, Bas, are not worthy," the Arishok spoke condescendingly towards his captive. "But you," he turned to Cameron. "Are worthy," he stared down at her, the glint of respect shining through his words. "We shall duel, Basalit-an. The survivor will deal with the thief, and we shall leave your city."

"Agreed," Cameron replied, her voice sure and confident. Her bravado hiding the sudden, numbing fear that wriggled up her spine. She could not look at her companions, knowing full well that her strength in the face of this giant was all that was keeping them at bay. She could almost hear the tightening grip on leather hilts; the soft rustle of robes as the mages stood ready; the quiet click of Bianca cocking back a bolt, and the swish of fletching as an arrow knocked into place. But the brush of fur along her thigh brought a smile and an idea. "But I have a condition." A vicious smirk tugged up the corner of the giant's mouth.

"A condition?" he asked, the hint of amusement tinting his words. Cameron squared back her shoulders, standing proud and sure.

"I am Fereldan," she began, her hand reaching down to stroke the head of the mabari at her side. "Our mabari, choose their lead, and their lead chooses the mabari. We are a part of each other." She paused a moment, watching as her words were taken in. "Asking a Fereldan to fight without their mabari is the same as asking the Antaam to fight without his weapon." The Arishok smiled.

"You speak well, Basalit-an. Your condition is granted. Now. Prepare yourself." Cameron did not let her relief show as she turned to her companions. Each stared at her in utter shock.

"Are you insane?!" Aveline hissed; speaking what everyone was thinking. She grabbed Cameron's arm, tugging her into the circle her friends created. She kept her eyes firmly on Aveline, not daring to look at Fenris or Sebastian. She knew what their expressions would be; knew exactly what each would tell her.

"Trust me, Aveline. I know what I'm doing," she smiled brightly, her assured words tinted with a touch of dry humor. "What's the _worst_ that could happen?" before anyone could speak, she turned back to the Arishok.

"Shall we begin?"


	38. Chapter 37

"Oh, oh my…he's, he's really _big_ isn't he?" Merrill whispered, clutching at her staff as she watched the Arishok stride towards Cameron. Varric lightly tapped the tiny elf's back reassuringly.

"Don't worry, Daisy. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Remember that time I told you Hawke took down an ogre? And those things are bigger than the Arishok," he whispered.

"She wasn't alone then," Aveline muttered her jaw clenching; _why_ was she risking her life for that damned whore; that same whore that _put_ them in this position. Fenris said nothing, his mind empty as he watched Cameron. He couldn't think about what might happen if she were to fall. Sebastian clasped his hands together, praying softly.

"Maker, watch over your children."

Cameron stepped into the center of the makeshift arena. She looked up at the giant that stalked towards her and felt very, very small. She couldn't even begin to fathom what was going through her mind when she threw this challenge down. She didn't have anything to prove. She'd already saved Kirkwall; nearly single handedly. Her hand tightened on her staff. No, she knew why she did it. Isabela had come back. Yes, it was probably the pirate's fault that the city was in this situation, but she came _back_. And that really was all that mattered to Cameron.

The Arishok wasted no time, charging the small mage with a deafening roar. Cameron moved quickly to side step, but was not quite fast enough. Like a top, she spun from the force of his blow. It was sheer luck that she spun out and away from the back handed swing of his blade. Bean jumped in, catching a massive calf between his jaws and diverting attention away from his dizzied mistress.

Cameron shook her head, trying to realign her perspective. She knew he was big, there was no hiding that, but now she knew he was fast. She wasn't going to get a second to breath, or think. He had already kicked Bean off his leg and was coming around for another swing.

She timed it perfectly. The Arishok rushed her, but instead fell upon the cone of ice she fanned before her. She did not let up on the offensive. With him stalled on the ice shards, she knocked him back with a fist of earth. Bean bolted in and out between spells, nipping at any bit of flesh he could sink his teeth into.

The Arishok was growing frustrated. Each time he managed to close the distance, some new spell would force him back. And the damn dog's teeth sunk deep into his flesh, crushing tendons and splitting veins. He could not fathom how this puny human could strike so hard and quick. With a snarl, the Arishok threw down one axe as Bean dove in to strike; with his suddenly free hand, the giant caught the bounding mabari by his neck. A sickening crack and whimper reverberated through the room and the limp dog was tossed to the side.

"NO!" Cameron screamed, rushing the horned giant, staff spinning with trails of ice behind her. Her careful, precision strikes shifted to wild flailing smacks. The Arishok grinned; the mighty Hawke was about to fall. She had toyed with him, it was his turn now.

Her staff swings were wild, but predictable. He'd parry her swings, knocking her back with the shear power behind his blade. Tears rained down from her eyes as she kept swinging. She no longer had a plan; she had no idea what she was doing. She couldn't hear her companions screaming at her, urging her to think; to pace herself. All she heard was that crack and whimper; over, and over. She was slowing down. Her staff was getting heavier in her hands. It was only a matter of time.


	39. Chapter 38

"Hawke!" Merrill cried out, trying to rush forward as a single back fist from the Arishok sent Cameron flying across the room. Aveline held her back, turning the elven mage away; neither needed to see the final blow.

Cameron groaned, struggling to get up. It wasn't going to end like this. It couldn't end like this. She was finally on her knees when suddenly she was in the air. The breath she had finally gotten back was stolen again as a large grey hand wrapped around her throat.

"You fought well, Basalit-an," the Arishok began, respectfully, bringing Cameron up to eye level. Her staff was left behind on the ground, her fingers digging into the vice-like grip around her throat. She continued to struggle as her vision darkened, her legs kicking out, trying to connect to anything. The Arishok stared at Cameron, still defiant in the face of her death. A small smile touched his lips as he brought his sword back to thrust into the mage in his grip.

The sudden growl and significant weight on his arm was a shock, as the Arishok's blade twisted in his grip. The wicked sword slid across the chainmail apron of Cameron's robe, slicing it to fall to the ground.

Bean, broken and bloody, chomped down on the giant's thick wrist. The Arishok growled, trying to shake the dead weight of the limp dog from his arm. Bean's weak and angry growls the only indication he was still alive.

His moment of victory stolen from him, the Arishok slammed Cameron to the ground, his attention turned to the locked jaws of the mabari war hound.

Cameron rolled away from the giant. Adrenalin coursed through her as she stood on shaky legs.

"Don't. Touch. My. Dog," she growled through clenched teeth. Her vision tunneled as she stared at the horned giant. Deep inside her, Cameron channeled her mana, fueled by the lyrium in her veins. As if sensing the change in his mistress, Bean released his bite, falling to the floor with a whimpered huff. The Arishok turned his attention to the threatening mage. He watched as a blue mist began rising from the small woman; along her arms, veins of lyrium rose up to run across her skin.

The Arishok rushed her, hoping to end this spectacle before her spell could be cast. With a scream, Cameron's first spell erupted around the charging giant. Gravity suddenly turned upside down, lifting the Arishok up in a sphere of golden light, only to slam him back down. The force behind his fall shattered two of his gilded horns. Her second spell pulled his sword and her staff from the floor, spinning the weapons in a vortex around the fallen giant. Cameron raised her arms, the weapons moving higher, and with one final scream, she dropped her hands, and the weapons fell.

When the dust settled, and the golden glow faded, the Arishok was pinned to the ground, his own sword thrust through his heart.


	40. Chapter 39

Cameron stood there on trembling legs. In the background she saw the Qunari leaving, she heard the nobles cheering her unfathomable victory, yet she wasn't there. Her eyes landed on Bean. She watched her faithful mabari struggle to stand; saw the way his shoulder and chest caved inward; how he tried so hard to stand despite the pain. She smiled as she saw Aveline there, cradling the war hound; Bean wasn't alone anymore.

And then she felt it. The sting across her stomach; the blood seeping from the wound her chainmail only barely stopped. Her hand reached up feeling the wetness against her skin.

And then there was pain; coiling, writhing pain. It stole her breath; her voice. Her face twisted in agony as she dropped to her knees. Tears began to leak from her eyes as she felt the hot, viscous fluid slide down the insides of her legs.

Her head was getting cloudy, she felt so weak; so drained. She couldn't hear her friends calling to her, shaking her. She only barely saw Anders in front of her. She had no voice, she couldn't tell him; couldn't explain. She tried so hard, her lips forming the words, but there was nothing.

And then she was falling.

* * *

><p>"Hawke!" Anders screamed her name, grabbing her shoulders, shaking her. She stared back at him, blues eyes growing black. Her mouth opened and closed, but there was no sound.<p>

_**It's coming**_… Justice's voice whispering in the back of his mind, but he didn't need to ask. Sebastian's strained voice, just behind Cameron answered for him.

"She's pregnant."

"What…?" Fenris's question whispered to no one. Anders glared at Sebastian, lifting Cameron in his arms. Now was not the time. Now was not the place. Ignoring everyone, he ran from the Hall as fast as he could, Sebastian hot on his heels. They needed shelter, safety.

"What's happening? What's going on? Where are they taking her?" Merrill's frantic voice spoke for everyone. Wide-eyed and panicked she looked around at her companions, all stilled in a state of shock. She squeaked in irritation, running hell bent after them. She would not be left out, she would not be the last to know, and she would not let Cameron fall.

* * *

><p>"What the fuck where you thinking?" Anders seethed, the question directed at the delirious woman in his arms.<p>

_**She's grown. She's singing so beautifully! Look! Look! The song has spread across her body. She's – **_

_Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!_ Anders screamed in his head; Justice's sing-song voice echoing through his brain. He didn't care about the lyrium brands that had burned through her skin. He didn't care how happy it made Justice. None of it was going to matter if she died.

_**You can bring her back. You can bring her back to me. To us…**_

He refused to acknowledge Justice's words. There would be no bringing her back if he failed.

* * *

><p>Sebastian took off faster, barreling through the war torn streets of Hightown. He knew where Anders would take her, there was no better place.<p>

The section of Hightown where her home stood was nearly untouched from the ravages of combat. There was a hush surrounding the square that seemed almost unnatural. Sebastian paid it no mind as he slammed into the front door of Hawke's estate. With shaking fingers he moved to pick the lock, but the door swung open before he could still himself.

"It's time," Sandal whispered, standing in the doorway, staring up at Sebastian. The young prince started, the strange calmness in the dwarf unnerving.

"Sandal! Get away from the door!" Bodahn's hysterical voice broke the spell, and Sebastian called out to him.

"It's us! Everything's alright now," he began, his words a prayer as well. "But Hawke's hurt," he barely managed to contain his fear. "We need towels, hot water…"

"You need to MOVE!" Anders growled, pushing past Sebastian into the manor, Merrill hot on his heels. He didn't pause to give instruction, just bounded up the stairs kicking open the first bedroom door he came to.

"Se-Sebastian! Wha- what is going on?" Merrill asked between panting breaths, grabbing his arm to keep him from leaving her.

"She's…she's pregnant," he breathed out, unsure why he suddenly felt so guilty. Merrill stared at him wide-eyed.

"And you let her go and do all that!?" Merrill's outraged words the answer. He set his jaw, pushing his regret to the back of his mind.

"I did what she asked of me," he answered. Merrill huffed at him.

"Next time Hawke tells you to do something stupid…. Just don't!" the two stood, staring at each other before they both began to laugh, breaking the tension of fear surrounding them.

"Good luck getting Hawke to see that," he finally said, bringing a knowing smile to Merrill's lips.

"If you two are done down there, I could use some BLOODY HELP!"


	41. Chapter 40

Anders had laid her on the bed. Moving as quickly as he could, he slid his dagger down the sides of her leather pants; tugging the sodden leather away. The lean legs he exposed were now branded, like her arms and torso, with the spiraling lines of lyrium. And between her legs, black-red blood; thick and hemorrhaging.

_Shit, shit, shit!_ The word repeating like a mantra in his mind. He wiped at the brighter blood on her stomach, his hand glowing green as his spell closed the wound from the Arishok's blade. Beneath her skin, he finally saw it; the tiny limbs thrashing about just below the surface. He watched, briefly, noticing the calming of the fetus's movements. His jaw clenched tight; this was not a good sign.

From downstairs, the nervous laughter of Merrill and Sebastian rose up to him. He snarled. This was _not_ the time for laughter.

"If you two are done down there, I could use some BLOODY HELP!" he shouted through the door. His voice seemed to rouse Cameron as his healing spell began to wake her.

"Oh, fuck me!" Cameron cried out, curling in on herself as her hands fisted in the blankets on the bed. Anders mentally kicked himself. His spell was only supposed to heal the wound, not wake her. He turned back to her, pasting on a practiced smile of assurance.

"If I had a copper for every time I heard a woman say that to me," he joked, trying to divert Cameron's attention. His attempt worked as a pained smile crossed her face.

"Maker, if _I…_had... a copper for… every time.. I heard, 'Hawke do' – Fuck!" she tried to join in, but her strained words erupted into a scream as the convulsions in her gut ignited a new agony.

She dropped her head back, her teeth biting deep into her lip; anything to distract herself. She closed her eyes, focusing on her desperate breaths through her clenching jaw. She didn't know how much time had passed; a minute? An hour? But suddenly strong arms lifted her up, held her tight. She could barely make out his words.

"Shhh. Breath, Hawke," Sebastian's calming voice whispered in her ear. She began to smile through the pain.

"Sebastian," she began, her voice strained, "We really… need to stop…meeting like…this," a labored giggle broke through her words, the pain disorienting. "You're gonna…gonna start thinking… I'm a right, bloody mess." The strength behind her words was beginning to falter.

"No, I could never think that," he began, trying to comfort them both. "I have never seen you fall so far that you didn't get right back up." She closed her eyes, her fingers digging deep into the blankets as the pain twisted within her. She could feel herself growing weaker with each breath.

"Pr-promise me," her words barely above a whisper, "You…you'll be there? You'll help them?" before he could answer, Anders spoke up.

"Hawke," there was no easy way to explain, and his tone was one of finality. "The baby, it's dying. We need to cut it out. Before it takes you too." He expected grief at his words; it was the normal reaction. But Hawke was anything but expected and normal. Her eyes shot open, dilated and blazing; whatever strength she still had burst forth from a surge of adrenalin.

"No," she croaked out. "No. You, save, her." she struggled to rise; each word bringing her closer to the nay-saying healer. "Or, by the Maker I will make you _suffer_."

Anders closed his eyes. Of _course_ this would be her demand; selfless and selfish; the perfect package of contradiction. With grim determination, he pulled his dagger out, one more time. He pushed her back down, without looking at him, he issued the cold order to Sebastian.

"Hold her tight." Sebastian's face set hard. He had been given this same order, so very long ago. The fear he held within then, was nothing compared to now. He didn't want this to be his final memory of her. He didn't want to see her pain; didn't want to see the blade slide into her belly. He closed his eyes. He shut out the cries and the whimpers, and he held her tight.

There was so much blood. It seeped into the linens beneath her, puddled on the marble floor. Merrill cocked her head bird like as she moved farther into the room.

Blood. It was everywhere; calling to her. Her crystal green eyes widened. The blood was the key. The key was being wasted. Why make a choice at all?

The miasma began to rise around the four; congealed tendrils twisted and spun, swimming within the red mist. Merrill stood in the center of the crimson shadow; her glowing fingers twisting the wicked magic to her will.

Cameron's cries stopped, her body relaxed. She fell into Sebastian's tight embrace, her once staggered and labored breathes slowed; calmed. It was the strangest feeling. She was floating on a cloud. She could _feel_ everything, and nothing. She was falling, her life slipping away. But she was getting _stronger_. She could feel the blade slicing her open; feel the hands pull her flesh apart. She could see the healing glow surrounding the tiny body in Anders's hands. And she could see the small, limp limbs begin to move.

And when she heard that small, indignant wail of first breath, the tears poured from her eyes, catching in her smile.


End file.
